The Original Ducksekeeter

Chapter 35: Daffy Duck and the Gorilla

"DAFFY GET THE PHONE!" Daisy called from up in the bathroom where she was getting dressed, but Daffy apparently went deaf because the phone kept on ringing, "DAFFY GET THE FUCKING PHONE!" Still no answer. "I swear to God!"
Daisy put on a robe and ran to get the phone.
"Hello!" She said, trying her best not to sound pissed.
"Hi, is this Daisy Duck?"
"It sure is!"
"Well I am Mark Singer, the founder of Gorilla Glue, and sales have been down for a second, but in honor of your birthday coming up I would like for you to sponsor our brand!"
Daisy almost hung up right there, she could not believe that she was being asked to sponsor a brand of fucking glue, she felt her career beginning to get to a new low.
"I will pay you a million dollars to film a few commercials and appear on some bottles!" Mark Singer explained.
"Yeah I'll think about it!" Daisy said before hanging up.
Suddenly Daffy walked back into the house.
"WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU, I WAS IN THE SHOWER AND THE PHONE WAS RINING AND I HAD TO GET IT!"
"I went to 7-eleven, they have slurpees there!"
"I'm aware of that, but you should have been here to answer the phone!"
"Who was it!"
"Gorilla Glue!"
"Gorilla Glue?"
"Yes, they want me to sponsor them!"
"Well see, it was a good thing that you answered because it was for you!"
"WELL I DON'T WANT IT TO BE FOR ME, I DO NOT WANT FUCKING GORILLA GLUE TO BE WHAT I AM KNOWN FOR!"
"Donald and Daisy Duck Clubhouse is going well!"
"Don't remind me, I hate filming that show more than anything, pretending to like kids is disgusting!"
"Why does Gorilla Glue want you all of the sudden anyway!"
"Because my birthday is coming up, did you fucking forget?!"
"No I did not!"
"Well anyway there is no way I am doing this sponsorship!"
"I bet it would be fun, and Gorilla Glue is my favorite brand of glue, it really sticks together!"
"That's great, but I don't care!"
"Why are you getting all dressed up?"
"I always look this good!"
"Okay, well what are your plans for today?"
"What are my plans for today?"
"I don't know Daisy, it is really hard to talk to you about anything!"
"Well if you must know Clarabelle wants to go out with me because she is going to pretend that we are just hanging out but really she is going to ask me to tell the rehab place she's been going to that she's sober!"
"I doubt that she's going to actually make you do that!"
"This is such a lovely morning," Clarabella said when Daisy got to the coffee shop they were at, "now Daisy can I ask you a flavor?"
"Sure!"
"Can you tell my dumbass rehab place that I'm off heroin?"
"Okay sure, why not," Daisy laughed.
"Good, okay you can fuck off!"
"I fucking hate you Clarabelle!"
"OH WAIT!"
"WHAT?!"
"Happy birthday!"
"It's not my birthday!"
"But it's coming up, isn't it!"
"It's in two weeks."
"Do you have any fun plans for the occasion?"
"I won't be sponsoring fucking Gorilla Glue!"
"Why the fuck would you do that?"
"Nevermind!"
"Well are you having a party or anything?"
"No I'm not, I don't like birthdays, they make me feel all old and shit!"
"Well Daisy you have to have a party!"
"Bitch I don't have to do anything!"
"Yes you do!"
"Clarabelle can you just overdose on heroin!"
"Okay fine!"
A couple days later Donna was cleaning the house and broke a vase.
"Ay dios mío!"
"What happened?!" Donald asked.
"I was cleaning the ceiling and was stepping on this table to reach but I knocked over the damn vase and now it broke in half!"
"That's too bad, I'll throw it out!"
"Don't throw it out, it's only in two pieces, it can be glued back together!"
"We don't have any glue here!"
"Okay well I'll go to the store to get some!"
"Wait, get Gorilla Glue, it works the best!"
"Okay, adiós sexy!"
Donald laid down on the couch to take a nap but about thirty minutes later he woke up to Donna slapping him violently and screaming scary Spanish words.
"WHAT?!"
"DONALD HOW DARE YOU!"
"BE MORE SPECIFIC!"
"YOU TELL ME TO GET FUCKING GORILLA GLUE AND THAT BITCH IS ON THE LABEL!"
"WHAT BITCH?!"
"DON'T PLAY DUMB WITH ME!"
"DONNA I SWEAR I HAVE NO IDEA!"
"I AM LEAVING YOUR ASS!"
Donald picked up the Gorilla Glue to see Daisy posing on the label.
"Daisy?!"
"Sí!"
Donald began laughing hysterically at Daisy's stupid smile.
"This is fucking hilarious!"
Donald picked up the phone and began making fun of Daisy from the other line.
"DAISY YOU HAVE SUNK TO A NEW LOW!"
"Bitch what are you talking about?!" Daisy asked.
"You know what I'm talking about!"
"Donald no I fucking don't, what is it?!"
"The Gorilla Glue!"
"How do you know about that?!"
"Donna just picked it up!"
"Picked what up!"
"The Gorilla Glue with your sexy face on the cover!"
Daisy slammed the phone down and got in her car.
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!" Daffy called out.
"I AM GETTING FUCKING GORILLA GLUE!"
"WELL GET IT FROM ACE HARDWARE, THEY ARE POPCORN!"
Daisy ran into Ace Hardware and looked in terror at a fucking shelf of Gorilla Glue with her posing on every bottle.
"OH HELL NO THEY DIDN'T!"
Daisy began knocking every bottle of Gorilla Glue off of the shelves before driving to Home Depot and Lowe's and Target and Walmart and whoever else sells Gorilla Glue and doing the same thing there.
"Did you buy it?" Asked Daffy when Daisy got back home.
"DAFFY YOU WILL NOT FUCKING BELIEVE THIS, GORILLA GLUE WENT BEHIND MY BACK AND MADE ME THEIR MASCOT EVEN THOUGH I NEVER SAID YES!"
"Okay well..."
"I AM GOING TO MARCH INTO GORILLA GLUE HEADQUARTERS AND MURDER EVERYONE THERE!"
"Maybe you shouldn't do that!"
"WHY THE FUCK NOT, THOSE CUNTS HAVE FUCKING CROSSED THE LINE!"
"OKAY DAISY WAIT I HAVE A CONFESSION!"
"WHAT?!"
"Okay well Gorilla Glue called back a few hours after the first call to ask for confirmation on the deal and you weren't here but I was and I answered the phone..."
"Daffy you better not fucking say what you are about to say," but he said it anyway.
"And I said you were okay with it!"
"DAFFY WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" Daisy screeched.
"Well I didn't know what to say!"
"You should have said no!"
"Well yes came out!"
"Daffy I cannot fucking believe this, I told you I don't want to fucking sponsor Gorilla Glue!"
"Well too late now you do!"
"OH MY GOD!"
"At least you'll be paid!"
"I already have damn money!"
"It won't be that bad, people like Gorilla Glue!"
"OKAY WELL I DON'T WANT THEM TO LIKE ME ON IT, THIS WHOLE THING IS SO DAMN INFURIATING!"
"You look hot on the cover!"
"I look hot on everything!"
"That's true!"
"So when were you thinking about telling me this!"
"I don't know, I didn't think they would start putting you on it this quick, by the way did you get my popcorn?"
"DAFFY I HATE YOU!"
"Okay!"
"I am calling them and saying that I've changed my mind!"
"Come on Daisy, is it really that bad, you just have to sponsor them for like a month!"
"OH MY GOD FINE," Daisy grabbed whiskey and took a large sip of it, "I GUESS IT ISN'T THAT BIG A DEAL!"
"You're right, it isn't!"
"BUT YOU ARE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!"
Daisy was absolutely furious at the point her career was at in the moment. Not only did she have to film Donald and Daisy Duck Clubhouse, a retarded educational show for children that Daisy could not stand working on, even more so now because Donald continually heckled her for being the mascot of glue. Daisy also now had to start making commercials for Gorilla Glue. She filmed three of them and they were all pretty similar. The basic premise was that she would be chased through the jungle by a giant gorilla who at the end of the commercial she would fall in love with and then she would climb onto it and ride him into the trees. Also an actual fucking gorilla was used to film who was not trained at all and actually killed several crew members and almost ate Daisy about a hundred times. Also Gorilla Glue shipped packages of the product, with Daisy's beautiful face on it of course, nonstop as a reward for making the commercials, along with the million dollars, although none of that was worth it at all. Daisy was also becoming increasingly mad at Daffy since all of this was his fucking fault. Daffy and Daisy both began fighting a lot more often than before where their arguments used to be Daisy just annoyed with him and now were becoming increasingly full of anger. This however got to a new level of intensity when Daisy and Daffy began fighting on the set of Donald and Daisy Duck Clubhouse while Daffy was on the set to give Daisy Tylenol because pretending to like kids gives Daisy a headache, she really doesn't like doing it.
"Are you going to thank me for bringing this to you?!" Daffy asked.
"Um no, it's not like you have some busy schedule, that dumbass Duck Dodgers show got canceled, I am your slave owner now and you owe me for years to come after the stunt you pulled with this Gorilla Glue bullshit!"
"Okay I'm not fighting with you on the set of a children's show!"
"Then fuck off!"
"I AM NOT LETTING YOU BOSS ME AROUND!"
"TOO FUCKING LATE BITCH!"
"Daffy needs to come to set more often!" Donald laughed in the corner where he was making out with Donna.
"THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT ME?!" Daffy screamed over.
"I'm not saying anything, you're hearing shit!"
"Yeah, dumb puta!"
"I'll get off the set if the Mexican knockoff does too!"
"BITCH DON'T TALK TO MY WIFE LIKE THAT!"
"YOUR WIFE IS A STUPID MEXICAN DUMBASS!"
"YOUR WIFE IS FUCKING A GORILLA!"
"YOU'RE UGLY!"
"YOU'RE BLACK!"
"YOU HAVE THE WORSE SPEECH IMPEDIMENT!"
"YOUR WIFE IS MAKING OUT WITH MY WIFE WHILE WE ARE FIGHTING OVER HERE!"
"DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!"
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, FUCKER I CAN SAY WHATEVER I WANT!"
Daffy punched Donald across the face suddenly and then the two of them began viciously attacking each other around the set. Donna and Daisy both cheered on their respective husbands but neither of them were doing very well so eventually they just began laughing at them. It wasn't long after that the paparazzi ran up and began taking pictures of the fight.
"Daffy people are fucking pissed at you and Donald now!" Daisy said the next morning when news of the fight got out.
"I don't fucking care!"
"Well I'm fucking pissed at you too, this is going to hurt the image of Donald and Daisy Duck Clubhouse, parents are gonna be mad that there is violence on the set, and they are going to stop buying the merchandise, and bitch as much as I fucking hate doing this show it sells a lot of fucking merchandise and for the love of God Daffy you and Donald's stupid ass fight that neither of you even won because you both can't fight for shit ruins the show I will go fucking ballistic!"
"I DON'T FUCKING CARE!"
"WELL YOU KNOW WHAT THAT REALLY ISN'T A BIG SHOCK TO ME CONSIDERING EVERYTHING!"
"WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!"
"I'M TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE FUCKED UP A LOT OF SHIT AND NOT SEEMED TO CARE!"
"LIKE WHAT?!"
"LIKE THE FUCKING GORILLA GLUE FOR A START!"
"AND WHAT ELSE?!"
"WELL YOU ARE JUST AN AWFUL FUCKING HUSBAND!"
"NO I AM NOT!"
"YES YOU ARE, FIRST OFF YOU SUCK IN THE BED, IF I HAVE TO FEEL YOUR BLACK DILDO IN MY VAGINA ONE MORE TIME I WILL ACTUALLY COMMIT SUICIDE, AND SECOND OFF YOU ARE FUCKING ANNOYING AND STUPID AND I AM WAY OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE!"
"WELL YOU ARE THE WORST WIFE EVER, YOU HAVE NEVER GIVEN ME THE RESPECT I HAVE GIVEN TO YOU!"
"WELL THAT IS BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD WANT TO WORSHIP YOU!"
"YOU ARE SUCH A CUNT!"
"NO I AM NOT, I DESERVE EVERY AWARD IN THE WORLD FOR SOMEHOW BEING YOUR LOVER FOR THE PAST DECADE!"
"AND I DESERVE AN AWARD FOR PUTTING UP WITH YOU NEVER LOVING ME!"
"DAFFY THE ONLY REASON I EVEN HOOKED UP WITH YOU WAS BECAUSE DONALD LEFT ME AFTER YOU HAD TO SHOW OUR NASTY ASS SEX TAPE AT POCAHONTAS IN CENTRAL PARK AND BECAUSE I FELT LIKE IT WOULD MAKE DONALD LESS FAMOUS, ALTHOUGH OF COURSE MEXICAN DAISY HAD TO SHOW UP, BUT EVEN STILL NO MATTER WHAT I HAVE NEVER EVER FUCKING LOVED YOU, I HAVE JUST USED YOUR DUMBASS, AND YOU ARE A DUMBASS YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID IT IS NOT EVEN FUNNY!"
"DAISY YOU FUCKING OWE ME ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD!"
"NO I DO NOT!"
"I HAVE ONLY LOVED YOU AND YOU HAVE NOT LOVED ME IN RETURN!"
"BECAUSE YOU ARE IMPOSSIBLE TO LOVE YOU ARE SO MADDENING!"
"APOLOGIZE TO ME!"
"WHY THE FUCK WOULD I DO THAT?!"
"IT'S THE NICE THING TO DO!"
"OKAY WELL JUST SO YOU KNOW MY PERFORMANCE IS DONALD AND DAISY DUCK CLUBHOUSE IS JUST ACTING, SO DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE NICE ABOUT JACK SHIT!"
"I LOVE YOU!"
"WELL THE FEELINGS ARE NOT MUTUAL!"
"THEN I AM DIVORCING YOUR ASS!"
"NO YOU ARE NOT!"
"YES I AM!"
"YOU CAN'T!"
"WHY, BECAUSE DONALD IS STILL WITH MEXICAN DAISY AND YOU DON'T WANT TO LOOK BACK?!"
"YES!"
"WELL TOO BAD I AM DIVORCING YOU!"
"I CANNOT FUCKING TAKE THIS!"
Daisy ran into her car and began driving around aimlessly, pissed about the conversation she had just had. Of course she would love to divorce Daffy, she dreamt of that since the wedding night, but there was no fucking way she was going to get a divorce while Donald was still with his girl. She had to think of something to do fast and she could only think of one mouse who could help her decide what would be best.
"MORTIMER I NEED YOUR HELP!" She called from outside his house.
"Are you here to sell me Gorilla Glue?" He asked when he opened the door.
"That's not funny!"
"Yes it is!"
"Look I am fucked, Daffy wants a divorce and he is signing those papers whether I like it or not!"
"Oh shit, why?!"
"We are in a bad way, worse than ever, he was the one who signed me up for the Gorilla Glue sponsorship and after he pulled that shit we have been at each other's throats and he is done with it, but I cannot fucking divorce him while Donald is still madly in love!"
"Okay well hold on there are a few ways we can handle this, firstly Donald and Donna are not madly in love, they do fight and even though they probably aren't planning a divorce anytime soon we could try to break them up, and then you two are both getting divorces!"
"Okay that could work!"
"But I have a better plan, one that can get you some sympathy!"
"What?!"
"Well we can finally follow through with the plan from when you two got married a decade ago!"
"What plan?!"
"Killing Daffy!"
"Oh shit maybe that is a good idea!"
"I think it is, and a dead husband will get you sympathy which may finally get you ahead of Donald in fame, and speaking of Donald, after their fight on set yesterday and some of their fights in the past he could become the main suspect and get in all kinds of trouble!"
"YES HE COULD AND THE WHOLE TIME PEOPLE WILL LOVE ME AND HATE DONALD AND DAFFY WILL BE DEAD, WHY HAVE WE NOT THOUGHT OF THIS SOONER, OKAY TOMORROW MORNING I AM KILLING DAFFY, I JUST HAVE TO PLAN EVERYTHING OUT OVER THE NEXT 24 HOURS!"
"Okay, have fun!"
"I will, thanks!" Daisy said, heading out the door.
"Oh and happy birthday, isn't it tomorrow!"
"DON'T FUCKING REMIND ME, I HATE BIRTHDAYS!"
Daisy decided that she would just go all out with murdering Daffy so when the sun rose the next morning she went to the garage, got a chainsaw, walked up to Daffy who was in the upstairs hallway, and sliced his head clean off. Blood sprayed from his neck and went all around the room and all over Daisy. Daffy was still alive for about thirty seconds after the decapitation, and managed to catch his head that went flying in the air, and then chucked it at Daisy's face before falling to the ground and dying. Daisy also fell backwards, both from getting hit in the face and because she slipped on Daffy's blood, and after hitting the floor she got knocked out for about an hour because of how hard she slammed it. When she woke up she walked down the hallway and slowly began walking downstairs to get food before cleaning the mess. But when she walked down the stairs she noticed that the lights were all off and she could have sworn she kept them on. She went to the nearest light switch and flicked it on and about had a heart attack.
"SURPRISE!"
Hundreds of people from Disney, including Donald and Donna for what Daisy assumed was for the sole purpose of pissing her off, were in the living room with a giant ass party set up around the house. Daisy ran as fast as she could upstairs to hide the fact that her clothes were covered in blood.
"GET BACK DOWN HERE!" Goofy yelled.
"IT'S A PARTY!" Snow White yelled.
"I HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM!"
Daisy ran upstairs and began freaking the fuck out. She then picked up the phone and called Mortimer.
"There is a fucking surprise party at my house!"
"What?!"
"How did you not know?!"
"People don't like to tell me things!"
"Mortimer I don't know what the fuck to do, my upstairs is covered in blood, I am covered in blood, Daffy's fucking head is laying over there!"
"Why is Daffy's head off!"
"Because I cut it off!"
"Why did you cut his head off?!"
"I thought it would be fun that way!"
"What did you cut it off with?!"
"A chainsaw!"
"Well that was an interesting choice!"
"I'm very proud of it, okay but what the fuck do I do!"
"Just clean it all up!"
"They're gonna wonder where Daffy is!"
"I don't know what to tell you about that part!"
"Fuck, okay I'm hanging up I have to pull shit together quick!"
Daisy grabbed all kinds of cleaning solutions and scrubbed all of Daffy's blood out as fast as she could. She also hopped in and out of the shower and washed the blood off of her as well. But it was also just good to get all sparkly clean because she was at a party after all. She put on a sexy green Gucci dress, and stuffed Daffy in a closet before heading downstairs.
"OKAY NOW I AM READY TO PARTY!"
"YAY!" Everyone cheered.
"So whose idea was this?!"
"It was mine, I was pissed that you weren't doing anything for your birthday, so I decided that you were going to decide whether you liked it or not, bitch!" Clarabelle explained.
"Well that is great, okay well I am gonna party!"
"Hold on, wait a second!" Ariel's stupid voice said.
"We don't have a second to waste, let's party!" Daisy yelled.
"Where is Daffy?"
"Yeah where is Daffy?!" Several people around asked.
"He needs to be here at the party too!" Goofy stated.
"Well he is a little under the weather at the moment!"
"Well he doesn't have to go crazy, but he can sit down here!" Clarabella stated.
"Okay well I'm not sure he's up to even just doing that!"
"Come on bring him down!" Someone said.
"Yeah, bring him down!" Said another.
"Daisy just bring him down for a second, I WANT HIM AT MY PARTY, I mean your party, Haha!" Clarabelle giggled.
"Okay just wait a second!"
Daisy ran up stairs and began freaking the fuck out even more.
"Oh I am in such deep shit it is not even funny at damn all!" Daisy said to herself.
She opened up the closet and pulled Daffy out. He still looked somewhat okay because he was all black and you couldn't tell he was getting pale. But he was covered in blood. Oh and didn't have a fucking head. Daisy had a plan but knew it would be risky. She was going to put Daffy's head back on and have him sit in a chair downstairs as if he was still alive. But the major issue was she had no clue how to get his head back on. She tried sewing it on for a second, but it wasn't staying on. She tried to hammer his head back in by putting a nail in his neck slamming the head against it, but that did not work and began to crack his head open slightly so she had to stop. Daisy was about to give up until she opened up a cabinet that was filled with all of the Gorilla Glue bottles she was given. At first Daisy actually laughed because she thought there was no way this could work, but then she began to think there wasn't much else to lose. She picked up a bottle of Gorilla Glue, poured it all on the top of Daffy's neck and then began to press Daffy's head down into it and to Daisy's surprise it actually seemed to be working. The head felt like it was sticking down great and as Daisy moved it around she felt like it was more and more locked into place. Now this wasn't going all smoothly, as when she pressed the head against the neck, the blood began spraying out more and was now getting on the floor and onto Daisy's dress, reversing some of the progress she made. But once the head was finally locked on Daisy quickly wiped the blood off the floor. She also hopped back into the shower to scrub anymore blood off and changed into a new purple Gucci dress. She also put Daffy back into the shower and washed blood off of him, but made sure that none of the water hit the glue. Lastly, she put a little bit of glue on Daffy's eyelids to keep them open and then headed downstairs.
"OKAY DAFFY IS HERE!" She called out, while everyone cheered.
"Why did you change your dress?" Asked the kid from the Jungle Book.
"I didn't, pay closer attention!"
She plopped Daffy down into a chair and got excited by how well this plan was working out. She could not believe how well Daffy's head was able to attach itself back on, to the point that Daisy began to feel proud about her Gorilla Glue sponsorship.
"Okay now let's finally party!" Clarabelle screamed.
For the next few hours everyone began drinking, did drugs that were brought to them by the party planner, and listened to heavy metal music from Daisy's playlists. Daisy was at first concerned that some people wouldn't buy that Daffy was fine, especially since he was just sitting completely still and never blinked. But nobody seemed to notice. And also thankfully nobody noticed the few times that blood would leak down Daffy's neck which Daisy would have to rush over and wipe away. Well actually there were two ducks that seemed to question just how healthy Daffy was.
"You know Daffy is very still," Donald pointed out when he, Daisy, and Donna were off to the side.
"Like I said, he's a little under the weather," Daisy said, before sipping from her Margitta.
"What's he sick with?" Asked Donna.
"Uh, the flu or something, I'm sure he'll be fine in a day or two!"
"Yeah I'm sure he will!" Donald and Donna laughed.
"Yeah he will, so you two can just go fuck off now, like why are you even fucking here, get out!"
Daisy tried her best to calm down a bit and decided to just go back to dancing around. As the night continued on people got more and more dramatic about everything. Several people were crying at Daisy's feet talking about how much she meant to them, while others were basically climbing up the walls.
"I WANT TO PROPOSE A TOAST TO DAISY DUCK!" Ludwig screamed while standing on a chair.
"Oh yay it's about me!" Daisy said all flattered.
"DAISY I JUST WANT TO SAY THAT YOU MEAN SO MUCH TO ME, I HAVE LOVED THE BILLION YEARS THAT I HAVE KNOWN YOU FOR AND I WANT TO KNOW YOU FOR A BILLION MORE AND I THINK YOU ARE ATTRACTIVE TOO SO JUMP AROUND ALL FLIRTATIOUSLY, AND ALSO I YOU ARE SEXIER THAN MEXICAN DAISY SO THERE!"
Donna drunkenly threw a beer bottle at Ludwig, sending him to the floor.
"NOW I WANT TO SAY SOMETHING!" Clarabelle yelled after doing a line of coke off Goofy's tongue, "DAISY I AM SO HAPPY YOU INVITED ME TO THIS PARTY AND I TRULY LOVE YOU, WE ARE BEST FRIENDS FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER AND EVER," Clarabelle then slipped and had to get back up while everyone laughed, "SHUT UP THAT WAS NOT FUNNY, I COULD HAVE DIED, ANYWAY I LOVED WRITING SUCK MY CLITLER WITH YOU, I THINK WE SHOULD SING IT RIGHT NOW ACTUALLY, JUST KIDDING I AM TOO LAZY!"
"DONALD MAKE A TOAST FOR YOUR EX WIFE!" Goofy yelled.
"DAISY IS A CUNT AND MEXICAN DAISY IS HOTTER!"
Donna jumped up next to Clarabelle and danced seductively, causing Clarabelle to trip and fall in shock at the beauty.
"I AM THE HOTTEST ONE HERE, AND POCAHONTAS AND ELASTIGIRL ARE IN THIS FUCKING ROOM, GRACIAS FOR LOOKING AT ME!"
"Okay I'm tired of these toasts about me!" Daisy stated.
"Wait Daffy needs to make a toast!" Clarabelle stated.
"Daffy is ready to leave to party actually, I think he is tired and again he is very much under the weather!"
"Well he doesn't have to do a fucking musical number, he just needs to talk about how much he loves you!" Goofy stated.
"He can do it in private, I'm taking him up to bed right now actually!"
"NO YOU AREN'T BITCH, NOW DAFFY IS GOING TO GIVE A FUCKING TOAST ABOUT YOU RIGHT FUCKING NOW, DAFFY GET OVER HERE!"
Daffy obviously did not move.
"GET OVER HERE!" Goofy demanded.
"Daisy, is Daffy dead or something?" Donald asked.
"I don't know Donald, do you know something on that subject regarding my husband?"
"DAFFY IS STARTING TO REALLY TICK ME OFF!" Goofy stated.
"He is very sick right now you guys, please don't be too mad if he can't walk right now!"
"Somebody bring him over then!" Clarabelle said.
"I'll bring him over, I'm Pete!"
Pete picked Daffy up and stood him up on the table, but he immediately fell off.
"I LOVE WHEN I DO THAT!" Clarabelle laughed.
Pete lifted Daffy back up.
"Here I'll just hold him up and I am Pete by the way!"
"Pete we know that, you are so fucking SPED, now Daffy say something about Daisy!" Goofy demanded.
Daffy didn't talk.
"SAY SOMETHING!"
"He has strep throat so it hurts when he talks!" Daisy added.
"WELL HE CAN GET THROUGH IT, HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE AFTER ALL!" Goofy yelled.
"DAFFY FUCKING TALK!" Pete began shaking him, "TALK!" Pete then began shaking him increasingly harder.
"DON'T SHAKE HIM LIKE THAT!" Daisy screamed.
"I AM TRYING TO GET HIM TO FUCKING TALK!" Pete screamed.
"OKAY I AM JUST GOING TO TAKE HIM UP TO BED RIGHT FUCKING NOW!" Daisy hopped up onto the table and pulled Daffy away from Pete, and just as she did his head flew right across the fucking room, hitting Donna right in the face.
"DONALD WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" Daisy screamed, not knowing what the fuck else to say.
"Oh shut up!" Donald rolled his eyes.