The Original Ducksekeeter

Chapter 24: In the Club

The Donald and Daisy Duck Club was shaping up to become a huge hit. Donald and Daisy were both extremely proud of themselves for coming up with the idea of pretending to come up with the idea of it, and their reward came in the bank. People all over the world, even if they were broke as hell and had bought this over health care, got a television so they could watch the Donald and Daisy Duck Club, and Donald and Daisy both reserved all of the rights to it. Now anytime someone bought a new television, all of the money they spent on it went to them, cha-ching!
"DONALD WE ARE THE KING AND QUEEN OF THIS WHOLE FUCKING WORLD!" Daisy screamed as she fucked Donald in their vault.
"I FUCKING LOVE ARE LIVES!" Donald screeched.
Once they finished up, they got some very fancy red wine and laid in each other's naked arms as they sipped it like the rich ducks they are.
"I'm not looking forward to tomorrow though," Donald stated.
"Why, what's tomorrow?!"
"Don't you pay attention to anything?!"
"I own this town I can pay attention to whatever I damn well please!"
"Well tomorrow we have to pick out the brats who are going to be Duckseketeers!"
"Oh shit that's right, why can't Walt just pick those losers out himself?!"
"We are two of the few people at that studio who aren't registered sex offenders, none of them are allowed to be alone with those retards!
"Well how about we go out and make ourselves registered sex offenders," Daisy giggled.
"Okay!"
Donald and Daisy ran outside, naked and ready to pounce, but like a lot of the times they go to their bank at night they didn't realize how long they were there and it was already daylight when they walked out.
"PUT CLOTHES ON, WE HAVE TO GO TO THE STUDIO RIGHT NOW TO LOOK AT LITTLE GIRLS, oh and little boys too, but come on do I look like a priest to you?" Walt came running over, with ninety cigars in his mouth.
Donald and Daisy got into Walt's jet which flew down to the studio where a trillion kids and their abusive moms who were forcing them to sell themselves to Walt Disney were  waiting.
"LITTLE GIRLS, IN MY OFFICE, NOW, AND GET NAKED!" Walt screamed, and lit fifty more cigars.
"No actually we aren't doing that," Daisy broke in, "all of you kids are going to get in a single file line and sing and dance in front of us so we can see how talented your dumbasses are!"
"And when you dance you can just forget your clothes," Walt grinned, his cigars poking through his teeth.
"NO YOU CAN REMEMBER THEM, WALT JESUS CHRIST YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING PEDOPHILE!" Donald screamed.
"Donald I know you wanna see some naked little girls!"
"I GIVE DONALD THE PLEASURE OF TWICE THE AMOUNT THE LITTLE GIRLS HERE COULD GIVE YOU!" Daisy stated.
For twenty hours straight Donald, Daisy, and Walt had to watch the most untalented wannabe children sing and dance to the best of their ability, which spoiler alert was not good. Thankfully though not every single one of the kids got to audition because you were immediately turned away if you weren't white, were Jewish, or fatter than 20 pounds, but that last one only applied to the young ladies. As the kids would walk in, their parents would audibly be screaming at them things such as:
"Look sexy for Walt Disney!"
"If you don't get the job I will put you up for adoption or just kill you!"
"You are our last hope before the Depression going on destroys are whole fucking family's life!"
After every audition was complete Donald, Daisy, and Walt decided that they would pick 28 of the kids. Walt had been taking note of the little girls he liked most and was actually having a hard time just picking 28, but Donald and Daisy had no clue which ones they wanted because every audition sucked ass.
"I like her, oh but this one has better curves!" Walt said while looking at the photos he took of the little girls.
"Walt you are a fucking child molester so you don't get a say in who gets the job!" Daisy.
"I own this company!" Walt spat out.
"NO, DONALD AND I OWN THIS COMPANY AND YOU BETTER NOT THINK OTHERWISE OR WE WILL QUIT!"
"AAAAAAHHHHHHHHH, OH GOD NO PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THAT, I WOULD RATHER HAVE A FAT GIRL ON THE SHOW THEN HAVE YOU TWO QUIT!" Walt lit forty more cigars and hid under his desk at those words.
Donald and Daisy walked out on a podium where all of the losers were waiting to see if they were going to become Walt's new fetishes.
"Okay so none of you are talented whatsoever," Donald said into a microphone, "and we have decided that Walt's votes don't count so sex appeal will not get you through!"
All of the moms groaned angrily.
"We have decided that we are just going to pick 28 names out of a hat Hunger Games style to see who gets the job!" Daisy explained.
"They don't know what the Hunger Games is."
"Donald shut up!"
Donald and Daisy each took turns pulling name of the kids who got the job and according to the little pieces of paper with names on them and Wikipedia, those who got cast were:
• Bobby Burgess               
• Annette Funicello
• Darlene Gillespie       
• Cubby O'Brien   
• Karen Pendleton
• Doreen Tracey       
• Sharon Baird
• Tommy Cole
• Lonnie Burr
• Dennis Day
• Nancy Abbate   
• Johnny Crawford
• Mike Smith
• Don Underhill
• Bonni Lou Kern
• Tim Rooney
• Mary Sartori
• Bronson Scott
• Mark Sutherland
• John Lee Johan
• Billie Jean Bean blossom
• Mary Espinosa
• Judy Harriet
• Dallas Johann
• Paul Petersen
• Mickey Rooney Jr.
• Dickie Dodd
• Ron Steiner
Those who got picked all screamed with excitement over the news, but many others began screaming and got violent including the moms who would now have to keep being broke in the Depression, and Walt who had to smoke a thousand more cigars devastated that some of his favorite girls did not get picked, especially Early Bloomer Berta, that one was a hard loss for him.After picking the little tykes who would be in the program, Donald and Daisy went into how the show's format would work. The biggest issue for them was that even though the show was popular, Donald and Daisy both did not feel like they had such a miserable life that they would legitimately sit down and watch the Mickey Mouse Club, so they couldn't actually remember what went down on the show, outside of the fact that the casts of all the kids had to change every season because every single one killed themself after each had finished filming. This meant that they would have to reinvent the entire show from the start. This didn't actually make them too worried though because they knew good and damn well that they could make a better show than one done by Walt, Mickey, and Minnie.
"Well I remember that shitty song I had to sing with Mickey, the one that went M-I-C—K..."
"Donald shut up I know the song and it is fucking annoying!"
"Well we're keeping the song in the show."
"No we aren't, that song is retarded!"
"Yes and it was also very popular, and if it ain't broke we aren't fixing it!"
"WE ARE FIXING IT, THE SONG IS NOT GOING TO BE IN OUR MASTERPIECE OF A SHOW!"
"Oh my God fine, okay what else will be in the show?"
"I don't know, I can't think right now," Daisy said, shutting her eyes like she was about to go to sleep.
"We have to come up with ideas soon because Walt won't take us as seriously and feel like we did something spectacular by coming up with the premise of the show if we don't actually plan what's going to happen in it!"
"Alright well there's no way we can even make the show somewhat entertaining, the cast is filled with talentless rejects!"
"The show doesn't have to be a masterpiece, we just have to be in it and people will watch!"
"Okay you're right!" Daisy then got up and said, "I'm taking a piss!"
Daisy then came back with a long list of things on a piece of notebook paper.
"What is that?!"
"I have planed out everything that will happen on the show!"
"While you were pissing?"
"Yes, here's how it's going down," Daisy put on her spectacles and started reading down the list, "first we play a few Donald and Daisy Duck short films to start the program, next the kids have a dance off in front of us, next they have a bake off in front of us, next the kids have a singing competition..."
"Whatever happened to these kids aren't talented?"
"We will get professionals to dub over the singing, have world famous chefs cook the food, and use midget dances and edit the kids' heads onto midget's," Daisy explained, "now that's the first half of the show..."
"There's more?!"
"Yes there's more!"
"We don't have time to have this much stuff!"
"Yes we do, every episode will be four hours, and we won't even have commercials, just little shout outs to the show's sponsors every so often!"
"Four fucking hours?!"
"Damn straight, come on Donald it has our names on it so you know people will watch, now as I was saying at the halfway point of the show we will show some more Donald and Daisy Duck cartoons, but also just to spice it up in the middle we can play some of Walt's silly symphonies or Goofy shorts because I am just so excepting, and then after those shorts in the second half of the program the kids will participate in a scavenger hunt that will have something to do with us, then there will be some Donald and Daisy Duck trivia that they will compete in, and both of the segments will be scripted so that one specific child wins, as the show continues we'll figure out who the viewers like and dislike and base it off of that, we'll also try and bring some scripted drama between them, you know like some of the kids go missing, love triangles, stuff like that!"
"Oh my God!"
"Then we'll have a segment where the kids tell stories, explore new areas like a jungle or haunted house or something, then last there will be a segment where people can call in and get a chance to talk to their favorite Duckseketeers, specifically us, that part of the show is going to get a lot of traction, and then at the end of each month, ten lucky fans will get to come to the set and meet us, sexy right, anyway at the end of each show we will then play a few more Donald and Daisy Duck cartoons to close out the evening, and that is how the program will be handled!"
"I mean, okay!" Donald said blankly.
"It is more than okay Donald, this show is fucking amazing!"
"There is too much going on!"
"Bullshit, there almost isn't enough going on!"
"It is four hours long, there is more than enough going on in it!"
"Why do you act like all of this is a bad thing no matter what people are gonna watch it and there aren't even any other shows they can compare it to so in that regard it literally can't fail, not that a show that I have come up with could ever fail!"
"Okay fine I guess these are entertaining ideas!"
"They're perfect ideas, this show is going to be perfect!"
The next day Donald and Daisy marched into Walt's room to show him all of the plans Daisy came up with for the show and he about choked on his cigars with excitement!"
"THIS IS GOING TO BE FUCKING PERFECT!" Walt jumped up and down and lit ninety more cigars.
"And don't you ever forget that it wasn't you who came up with it and you cannot take a single inch of credit in the show!"
"Yes your majesty!" Walt said, bowing down.
Outside of the Donald and Daisy Duck Club, the ducks were also working on their plans for another major part of the Disney company.
"So we've already suggested the Donald and Daisy Duck club to Walt," Donald was saying to Daisy while they were on a dinner date, "when are we gonna suggest Disneyland?"
"Let's do it soon, and what about Disney World?"
"Well I want to suggest that one after Walt dies, so that we look all sympathetic, but we have to make sure we are the first to announce it!"
"True, and what about the Disney Cruise?"
"Bitch you've seen Titanic, ships in this day and age suck ass!"
"I guess Disneyland is enough for right now anyway, so TVs, Donald and Daisy Duck Club, and Disneyland, we have invented more things than Thomas Edison or George Washington combined!"
"God you're stupid," Donald whispered.
"Oh right Thomas Edison is that president!"
"You can't be serious!"
The next day Walt was holding a meeting that included Walt's most important animators, the Nine Old Men, also known as the Nine Most Racist Men in America, Goofy and Clarabelle for entertainment at the meeting, Walt's favorite lady animator and prostitute Mary Blair (she actually didn't start working at the company until 1940 when Mickey and Minnie were still there but Donald and Daisy found her for him and got her there early), and of course the King and Queen Donald and Daisy.
"WALT I WANT THE COONS OUT!" The nine old men, who actually at this point in time weren't that old, yelled at Walt's slaves.
"THEY ARE LIGHTING MY CIGARS!" Walt said, as a slave lit fifty cigars.
"I WILL LEAVE IF THEY DON'T!"
"FINE, NIGGER GET THE FUCK OUT!" Walt yelled at the slave, "okay now let's start this meeting!"
"GOOFY IS MAKING ME CUM!" Clarabelle moped as Goofy put his hands in her pants.
"That's great Clarabelle!" Walt said.
"Why do they have to be here again?" Asked Mary.
"CUNT I TOLD YOU THEY ARE HERE FOR ENTERTAINMENT, YOU KNOW LIKE WHAT YOU DO FOR ME AT THOSE MOTELS!"
"Mary you're fucking Walt!?" Goofy asked.
"Are you sped Goofy they have been fucking for like two years now!" Clarabelle laughed.
Goofy socked Clarabelle in the nose which made her spray milk all over the room in shock.
"Clarabelle oh my God you are fucking gross!" Mary yelled.
Clarabelle took Mary to the ground and started to punch her repeatedly in the throat.
"WALT YOU BEST PUT THIS MEETING IN ORDER OR I WILL LEAVE!" Daisy demanded.
Walt screamed at the thought of that and screamed, "STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR I WILL RAPE YOU BOTH!"
Everyone settled back down and Donald and Daisy both said, "the meeting has begun now."
"Okay so I just want to say how excited I am about the Donald and Daisy Duck Club which will begin filming next week, and this was all the idea of these two so everyone clap for them!"
Everyone clapped except for Mary.
"Why aren't you clapping Mary?" Walt asked.
"Because I think we all accomplish things around here and so therefore nobody is so special that they deserve applause, but that is just my opinion!"
"GOOFY RAPE THIS JEALOUS CUNT RIGHT NOW!" Donald ordered.
"YOU HEARD HIM!" Walt barked at Goofy, who then happily raped Mary.
"As I was saying, this has been a phenomenal month and the new program will make everything even more perfect, and I am just so thrilled about tha..."
"We have an announcement," Daisy said.
"EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Roared Walt, who lit up seventy cigars at the thought of an announcement being made.
"DISNEYLAND!" Donald and Daisy both yelled at the same time.
Walt passed out at the name alone and after the doctors came in and woke him up Donald and Daisy got to continue with their announcement.
"At Disneyland there will be rides, and restaurants, and overpriced shit, all circling around our perfect company!" Daisy smiled.
"It's just like Griffith Park!" Donald stated.
"THAT IS WHAT I WAS THINKING!" Walt hollered with excitement.
"BUT WE CAME WITH IT!" Daisy yelled with excitement as well.
"Where will we put it?"
"Anaheim California!"
"Why?"
Donald and Daisy both thought and realized they had no clue why Walt wanted to put it there, so they both just said, "because we said so!"
"Here the layout of the park!" Donald said, handing Walt a blueprint.
Unlike the Mickey Mouse Club, Donald and Daisy had remembered what was in all of the Disney parks (or at least the American ones, they would not be caught dead in Hong Kong Disneyland, the fuck is that place) because they had been forced to go there all of the time for work events and would often replace Mickey and Minnie's roles in events there because they would be "too busy" but really just didn't want to go, and so Donald and Daisy would have to deal with bratty, entitled, spoiled, rich kids who were pissed that they were there and not the mice. But anyway bottom line they could remember the layout of it, which may seem like a plot convenience, but what the fuck.
"NIGGERS, BROWNIES, KIKES, TOMATOES, AND CHING-CHONGS GET TO WORK!"
Walt's slaves immediately flew, in a very small rusty jet that ran out fuel twice because Walt was not putting them in his jet, down to Anaheim where they began building Disneyland.
"HOLY SHIT NOW DONALD AND DAISY HAVE CREATED THE DONALD AND DAISY DUCK CLUB, TELEVISIONS, AND DISNEYLAND, THEY ARE FUCKING AMAZING!" Everyone in the room screamed.
"YES WE ARE!"
The next day Donald and Daisy came across every TV in ToonTown. Every single person in the city stopped whatever they were doing immediately. People who were in their houses ran to their living rooms, while others outside rushed home as fast as they could, or just broke into the nearest house they could find. Donald and Daisy were both sitting in very elegant chairs from their house, resembling the Dead Queen and the new Inbred King when they make their Christmas Broadcast.
"Donald and Daisy are here to announce that a new amusement park, Disneyland will be arriving soon and you better come because we said so, the cost is only a mere fifty billion dollars per child, and two hundred billion dollars per adult, you may have to give up everything, but it is worth it, see you there!" They both said in unison.
From their house Donald and Daisy could hear the noise of every single person in ToonTown going fucking crazy over the announcement of Disneyland. People were even attempting to break into the ducks house, but Walt built an indestructible glass dome around it, which could only be unlocked by Donald and Daisy. Walt wanted to be able to get in as well, but the ducks refused to let him have access to it and he could never go against their wishes.But even so people still began climbing up the glass dome and banged their bodies and heads on it repeatedly in an attempt to get in.
"Disneyland is a hit motherfucker!" Daisy screamed to Donald as they went outside to look at the people surrounding their estate.
Over the next week the ducks gave several interviews to talk about both the Donald and Daisy Duck Club and Disneyland and the excitement was going through the roof. When they walked outside people would bombard them with questions about both of these products. Sometimes Donald and Daisy would give straight answers but a lot of the time they would give little teases to peek everyone's interest. The short films also showed no signs of stopping either, with every single one still continuing to make more money than anything else on the planet, and the continuing short films getting made only got people more excited for the upcoming Disney products.
"WE ARE SO FAMOUS DONALD!" Daisy screamed.
Donald and Daisy were having one of their Naked Cocaine Nights that they would do every week. What would occur on this night was pretty self explanatory, but the only other thing to add about it is that they would hook themselves up to wires and fly around their house higher the coke made them. They could just fly themselves but they were lazy.
"WE ARE PERFECT CREATURES!" Donald flew around on the wire.
"AND WE ARE ONLY GOING TO GET MORE FAMOUS BECAUSE THE DONALD AND DAISY DUCK CLUB BEGINS FILMING IN THREE FUCKING DAYS, OH MY GOD I CANNOT WAIT!"
"ACTUALLY IT'S TWO, WALT WANTS US TO COME IN FOR SOMETHING BEFORE FILMING THE REAL SHOW BEGINS!"
"OH GODDAMNIT WHAT DOES HE WANT!"
"I DON'T KNOW HE PROBABLY JUST WANTS US TO PLAN A FEW FINAL THINGS OUT OR SOMETHING, LIKE FIGURING OUT WHERE THE LITTLE GURLS LIVE!"
Donald and Daisy flew around through the air some more, snorting coke off of each others bodies, until eventually they got really fucking high and began spinning and twisting around very aggressively and eventually ramming right the fuck into each other. Daisy who was losing all of her fucking brain cells grabbed some scissors and cut the wires, so that the ducks fell to the ground, but thankfully landed on their couch safely and drifted off the sleep there.
Two days later the ducks went to the studio.
"WALT WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT WE DON'T HAVE TO FILM UNTIL TOMORROW!" Daisy screamed.
Daisy then noticed a recording booth with two microphones.
"THE HELL IS THAT?!" Daisy pointed.
"Daisy calm down, why are you so damn loud?!" Donald asked
Walt lit ninety cigars and then said, "retard this is where you are recording the theme song, you will mouth the words when we film it!"
"DO NOT CALL ME A RETARD!" Walt started crying and lit fifty cigars, "and what theme son..."
"Daisy, don't be silly, you know the one!" Donald interrupted.
"You should know the one, the two of you wrote it together, and get full credit, and money for it!" Walt stated.
Daisy grabbed Donald by the throat and pulled him outside.
"WHAT FUCKING THEME SONG?!"
"You know what theme song it is Daisy!"
"It better not be the one that I think it is!"
"Well we spell our name, not Mickey's!"
"DONALD I DID NOT FUCKING WANT THAT ONE, I MADE IT CLEAR THAT I DID NOT WANT THAT ONE!"
"Well the show needed a theme song!"
"We could have written a new one!"
"This one was really fucking popular though, it was at the end of Full Metal Jacket and shit, and it will be even more popular with us singing it!"
"But you should have asked me about it first!"
"You came up with everything else on your own, why couldn't I come up with my own thing!"
"Number one, my contributions to this program are beautiful, number two, I didn't go behind your back, and number three, bitch you didn't come up with this damn song, Mickey Tardodore Mouse did!"
"MICKEY TARDODORE MOUSE CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF THE PROGRAM IN THE FIRST PLACE SO NEITHER OF US ARE BEING VERY ORIGINAL HERE!"
"FINE!" Daisy screamed so forcefully that Donald's skin flew off of his face.
"Ew Donald where is your skin, I guess we only need your voice today but my slave will fix it before we really start filming tomorrow!" Walt stated.
Donald and Daisy got in the recording booths and Daisy got pissed at the lyrics.
"Bitch why am I the one singing the main lyrics?!" She whispered to Donald.
"Well me yelling Donald Duck is famous and shit, I didn't think I should change that part!"
"But now I'm gonna be associated with this shit song!"
"Well you like being the center of attention anyway!"
"DONALD I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD!"
"Okay start singing!" Walt said, lighting up three hundred more cigars.
A choir behind Donald and Daisy started singing, "Who's the leader of the club that's made for you and me?"
"D-A-I-S-Y-D-U-C-K-YIP... yippee Donald?!"
"I had to put something to replace the e!"
"DAISY WHY DID YOU STOP SINGING!"
"FUCK OFF WALT!" She roared.
"AAAHHH!" Walt screamed, dropping a few of his cigars which he immediately replaced.
Daisy continued, "D-A-I-S-Y-D-U-C-K-YIPPEE!"
"Daisy Duck!"
"Donald Duck!"
"Daisy Duck!"
"Donald Duck!"
"Forever let us hold our banner high, high, high, high, come along and sing a song and join the jamboree!"
"D-A-I-S-Y-D-U-C-K-YIPPEE, you know Donald Mickey didn't sing the original theme song!"
"Well I think it makes sense that we both sing it since this is both our show!"
"Shut up!"
And then according the Disney Wiki there are a lot of other words in the song but who the fuck cares about those, also Jiminy Cricket makes an appearance in the original one but he got squished by Daisy.
The next day the filming of the show finally began, but first they were gonna film the bullshit theme song. Walt brought a lot of familiar faces to appear in the song, including Goofy, Scrooge, Ludwig, Clarabelle, and animated bears. Walt had everyone else get stoned for the filming so that the energy was very fun. It actually was even somewhat fun for Daisy since they were doing it this way. By the end of it everyone had danced and danced until they fell on their pants and now Donald and Daisy were in a situation because they were high but still had to begin filming the episode.
"It's okay, I can watch over the  Duckseketeers," Walt grinned and lit forty cigars.
"WALAT DUDIHD YOUH GIT USE HUH SA YOIUH CHOUKD GIT WIT LIT GWIRLS AN WEUH WOUDLNE C!" Donald screamed.
"Sorry, I can't understand you!" But Walt actually could.
Donald and Daisy were having a very bad high and it was not helped by the screaming group of children who charged into the studio.
"OWH GWOD!" Donald yelled.
"WEHE GUT TA GWIT UPTH!"
Donald and Daisy stood up slowly and were immediately knocked to the floor by a little brat. When they hit the ground both of them began throwing up profusely, but the good news was that it sobered them up.
"Where is Walt?!" Donald coughed.
"PROBABLY MOLESTING SOME SHIRLEY TEMPLE LOOKALIKE!" Daisy screamed.
"OH GOD SHIRLEY TEMPLE IS SO FUCKING HOT, I'M GLAD I GOT TO FUCK HER THAT ONE TIME, OH WAIT SHIT I AM NOT IN HERE!" Walt screamed from his office.
Donald and Daisy ran to Walt's office to see every girl on the cast ass naked.
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" Donald and Daisy screamed.
"I'm just giving them a physical!"
"WALT GET AWAY FROM THE LITTLE GIRLS, WHEN WE ARE FILMING YOU DO NOT GO WITHIN FIVE FEET OF THEM, OR I WILL FUCK YOU UP!" Daisy yelled.
Walt started sobbing both because his queen yelled at him and because she told him to get away from the little girls. But Walt did fix his worries by smoking more cigars.
"OKAY NOW LET'S FILM!" Donald and Daisy giggled.
Filming for the day went great. They shot everything they needed from the midgets dancing to the singing to the scavenger hunt. The short films would be added in later, and the part where viewers could call in was also saved for when the show was airing live so that the people at home could participate. Everyone was so excited to get it out that it was decided the show would premiere that very night. Donald and Daisy invited everyone who worked at Disney, except for the slaves who Walt locked in the studio closet so they couldn't get a chance to see the show at all, and Walt who Donald and Daisy did not want at their house nor did they want to sit next to him watching little girls on the TV. Everyone at the viewing party was jumping up and down throughout the entire episode and Donald and Daisy could hear everyone in ToonTown as well as the rest of the world going batshit crazy during it. A camera crew was placed in the duck's house for the part where viewers could call in, but no one ended up getting a chance because every phone in the world exploded due to so much activity.
"If you want to call you'll have to try again next week!" Donald and Daisy said to the camera.
People started fucking rioting in the streets when this happened. Some people ran to Donald and Daisy's house and attempted to get in or at least look through a window to see them, but they were one way windows so people could only see mirrors. Other people ran down to the studio and tried to get in and murder Walt in their anger. With all of the people outside screaming, it was decided that everyone would just spend the night there so they didn't have to face the psychopath fans outside. In celebration of the success of their show, Donald and Daisy fucked each other hard that night and went to bed with smiles on their faces. Everything was great. Until four in the morning.
"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" Daisy screamed.
"WHAT?!"
"I HAVE A CHARLEY HORSE!"
"For Christ's sake Daisy I thought there was an emergency!"
"BITCH THIS IS AN EMERGENCY, IT REALLY FUCKING HURTS!"
"Then go drink the pain away!"
"Good idea!"
Daisy crawled downstairs and started chugging vodka. She then saw a figure in the living room sitting on the couch.
"WHO'S THERE!"
"It's me!" Yelled Mortimer, "is the vodka helping your charley horse!"
"How did you know I had a charley horse, do you have ESP?!"
"No, you were screaming about it!"
"Well whatever," Donald chugged more vodka.
She eventually lost feeling of the charley horse, as well as the rest of her body, and dragged her ass to the couch and plopped down next to Mortimer.
"What are you doing down here?" Daisy asked.
"I'm too pissed to sleep!"
"Well boo fucking hoo!"
"WHAT?!"
"Just kidding, but why are you pissed?!"
"Because I wasn't put in the theme song!"
"Oh yeah that's too bad!"
"Walt thinks that I am fucking evil or something!"
"Well if it makes you feel better Pete wasn't in it either!"
"That doesn't make me feel better at all, look I'm just pissed because I thought shit would get better once you two killed Mickey and Minnie!"
"Mortimer what the fuck are you smoking, everything has been perfect since we killed Mickey and Minnie!"
"For you, everyone worships you two, nobody is worshiping me!"
"Look Mortimer, just be happy that you're famous!"
"Jesus Christ Daisy shut the fuck up!"
Daisy threw the vodka bottle at Mortimer's head and ran off.
"Cry me a fucking river Mortimer, Donald and I killed those mice, we were the ones who were always meant to be the mascots, that's how the plan has always went!"
"WELL I DON'T LIKE IT ANYMORE!"
"WELL THEN GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF!"
Daisy got back into bed with Donald and went back to sleep, Mortimer's annoying voice ringing in her invisible ears.