The Original Ducksekeeter

Chapter 27: Suck My Clitler

World War II has begun. Donald and Daisy had hoped that Walt and Hitler's friendship would end before the war started but it did not and the two of them were pissed.
"We are going to look like a bunch of fucking Nazis!" Daisy screamed.
"Well America won't enter the war until next month when Pearl Harbor happens, so we'll see then if Walt decides to call it quits with the man who will be responsible for the deaths of six million Jews after that!"
"Jesus I feel like we should be doing more to prevent some of this shit that we know is gonna happen before everyone else does, I mean 9/11 is gonna be awkward!"
"I still think that it's best we don't change anything outside of the company, especially major historical events, they probably have happened for a reason!"
"That's true, without Pearl Harbor we wouldn't have that kickass Ben Affleck movie!"
So on December 7th Donald and Daisy were sitting in the middle of the studio elegantly sipping tea as others were around working, when someone on the radio came on and said, "BREAKING NEWS!"
"I wonder what that could be about?" Daisy asked with a curious look.
"PEARL HARBOR HAS HAD A SURPRISE ATTACK BY JAPAN PEOPLE, AMERICA HAS ENTERED THE WAR, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?!"
"I SURE CAN'T!" Donald screamed unsuspiciously, or at least that was his intent.
"I can, I can see in those tiny little eyes that they were saying, nǐ hǎo 'merica, you better watch out!" Goofy ran into the room yelling.
"Sounds to me like you know something Donald and I who aren't suspicious at all don't, we should be afraid of you!"
"I suppose you should, garsh I better sign up for the war!"
"Goofy you are not signing up for any war, your shorts are the second most popular!" Walt ran into the room as well.
"Oh hey Walt so I guess this is it with you know who," Daisy said with a disappointed expression.
"Who, Clarabelle?"
"What, no?!"
"I know she dated that little Jap for a second, even though they broke up she may have had ties to the attack, do you think?"
"No I don't think Clarabelle had ties to Pearl Harbor, I'm talking about Hitler!"
"What does he have to do with any of this?!"
"Okay let's just be frank," Donald jumped in, "Daisy don't make that joke," Daisy closed her mouth, "it has already been strange you being friends with Hitler while the war has been going on in other countries but now that America is involved I think it's time you call it quits!"
"Hitler isn't that bad, he is a very misunderstood man!"
"WALT HE IS A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH!" Daisy screamed.
"HOW, HE IS SUCH A NICE PERSON, THE ONLY THING THAT'S TICKED ME OFF ABOUT HIM IS THAT HE HAS BORROWED SOME OF MY JEWISH SLAVES!"
"HE IS NOT BORROWING THEM, THEY ARE BUNKING WITH ANNE FRANK, I love Anne Frank jokes Donald I had to and this seems like a good time, BUT WALT, HITLER HAS GOT TO GO!"
"But Walt is my friend!" Hitler said from behind Donald and Daisy.
Donald and Daisy screamed and fell to the floor.
"You don't want me to be friends with Walt anymore?" Hitler asked.
"I mean you can do whatever I was only joking," Daisy smiled.
"You were only joking, that's great because I love jokes!" Hitler fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
"Oh gosh it's funny huh?!" Donald smiled.
"Hey isn't this the bitch who started all this shit?" Asked Goofy.
"I haven't started anything, the world is evil too!" Hitler yelled in his thick German accent.
"What'd he say?" Asked Goofy.
"I don't like this conversation so I am leaving, Walt let's go!"
"Coming Hitler!"
A few nights Donald and Daisy were sitting in bed and were not in the best of moods. The war had already taken a toll on the studio with many of the short films making a lot less money and Disneyland losing guests due to people either shipping themselves off to fight or the fear of Hitler being at these places because he is a fan.
"THIS WAR NEEDS TO END!" Daisy yelled.
"NO SHIT!"
"Our company is getting worse by the minute, and I think people are starting to figure out that Walt and Heil are friends!"
"How do you know that?!"
"Well the paparazzi has photos of them for a start!"
"Are they happy photos?" Donald pleaded.
"Well they looked happy standing in front of some dead Jews and draped in Nazi swag!"
"Maybe Mickey and Minnie did better at this World War II shit than us!"
"DONALD SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
"I mean it, how come we didn't even know Walt was friends with Hitler, the mice must have done a better job hiding it!"
"Please Donald the only reason Walt became a fan of the company is because we are the mascots, they had no relationship when Mickey and Minnie were running the show!"
"Good point, but it's still our fault then!"
"Well we just can't help being amazing mascots, and after all Walt and Hitler are a match made in Heaven, or I guess Hell, because they are both maybe the most prejudiced and violent people to ever be conceived!"
"On that hopeful note do you think we can convince Walt to stop being friends with him!"
"Donald I'm starting to feel like there only Hitler shooting his ugly ass mustache face will keep them apart!"
"Hey maybe Walt will join Hitler's suicide!"
"Oh yeah, maybe this friendship will have some good come from it!" Daisy smiled.
Suddenly Donald and Daisy heard a loud explosion from around their house.
"OH GOD THE JAPANESE ARE COMING FOR US NEXT!" Daisy screamed.
Daisy ran under the bed screaming while Donald went to look out the window.
"DONALD GET AWAY FROM THE DAMN WINDOW!"
"I WANNA SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING, THE DOME IS MOSTLY FINE BUT THERE IS A HOLE AND IT'S BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BITCHES WHO ARE CURRENTLY JUMPING IN WITH PARACHUTES!"
"OH SHIT Y'ALL!"
"THEY AREN'T JAPANESE THOUGH, THEY HAVE EYES!"
"Well that's good!"
"THEY HAVE THE NAZI FLAG ON THEIR UNIFORM SLEEVES!"
"Well that's not good!"
Donald and Daisy ran out of their room and started making their way down to their safe room that's in the basement, but the cunts from outside jumped into the house through the windows.
"WE ARE THE GESTAPO, HEIL HITLER!"
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" Donald and Daisy jumped.
"SIE KOMMEN MIT UNS!" According to Google translate.
"What did they say?" Asked Daisy.
"I don't know but it sounded similar to something said in Schindler's List!"
"Donald everything in German sounds like that!"
"WE SAID YOU ARE COMING WITH US!"
"PLEASE NO!"
"WE AREN'T JEWISH, I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANY JEWISH PEOPLE!" Daisy explained.
But the Gestapo didn't listen and instead pulled out a giant butterfly net that they caught the ducks up in. The Gestapo put the  ducks in a cage which they then put in a plane which they then flew down to Naziland. Hitler was standing with his hand on his hip in front of his house. Everyone outside, a lot of them Nazi supporters, recognized them and began screaming for them to come over and meet them.
"SAVE US!" Donald and Daisy yelled at them.
"YOU DON'T NEED TO BE SAVED, HITLER IS PEACE!" Everyone around them yelled.
"Oh shit Hitler, I gotta hide!" Anne Frank yelled.
Donald and Daisy were brought into Hitler's house where is wife and future suicide partner was ass naked on the floor in the living room rubbing her vagina.
"KOMM HIER HER, HITLER, SCHIEBE DEINE ZUNGE IN MEINEN HAARIGEN ARSCH, EINE MUSCHI UND LASST MICH VON DEINEM SCHNURRBART KITZELN, BIS ICH DEINEN HALS PISSE UND DEINE RIPPEN MIT GENUSS VERBRENNE, WAS DEINEN KÖSTLICHEN SCHWANZ MIT HITLER-SCHNURRBART-SCHAMHAAR HART WIE STEIN WIRD!" She yelled, according to Google Translate.
"Bin gleich wieder da, ich muss mich um die Enten kümmern!" Hitler is saying he'll be right back here, it's not that important unlike the last part which is very important.
Donald and Daisy were then taken upstairs to Hitler's bedroom that was full of Donald and Daisy merchandise. The ducks were stripped naked and tied up with rope, while Hitler got a whip and began striking them with it.
"OH GOD!" Donald screamed.
"FUCK THAT SMARTS!" Daisy hollered.
"SMARTS, DAISY WE ARE GETTING WHIPPED BY HITLER AND YOU'RE TALKING LIKE YOU'RE IN KINDERGARTEN!"
"WELL FORGIVE ME DONALD THAT MY CHOICE OF WORDS AREN'T WORKING FOR YOU AT THE MOMENT!"
As Hitler was hit(ler)ting them with the whip, he also began sobbing profusely.
"I LOVED YOU TWO SO MUCH!" He sobbed, the tears flooding into his mustache, "I WAS FEELING SO ALONE IN 1928 UNTIL I WATCHED YOU TWO LIGHT UP THE SCREEN, I WAS OBSESSED WITH YOU, YOU MADE ME FEEL IMPORTANT, YOU MADE ME DECIDE TO BECOME THE BEST THING THAG HAS HAPPENED TO GERMANY SINCE NOTHING ELSE BECAUSE I AM THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO GERMANY BECAUSE YOU TWO'S POWER MADE ME FEEL POWERFUL, AND THEN I MET WALT AND HE IS TRULY THE ONLY PERSON ON THIS PLANET WHO UNDERSTANDS MY FEELINGS, AND HE FEELS THE SAME ABOUT ME, NEITHER OF US HAD MET ANYONE WHO WANTED TO MURDER KIKES, NIGGERS, SANDNIGGERS," Hitler proceeds to say every slur ever muttered, even people of his own race and religion because Hitler and Walt feel that only each other are perfect, "SO WE FELT SO HAPPY TO BE TOGETHER, WE HAVE EVEN FUCKED EACH OTHER A COUPLE OF TIMES 💅 EVEN THOUGH WE HATE FAGGOTS, SO I WAS FEELING PERFECT, I LOVED YOU TWO AND I LOVED WALT DISNEY, BUT THE OTHER DAY YOU SAY TO WALT THAT I SHOULDN'T BE HIS FRIEND ANYMORE, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
"Bitch why?" Donald tried to cover his invisible ears.
"I HAVE NEVER FELT SO SHOCKED AND SO DISAPPOINTED, BUT NOW I MUST PUNISH YOU TWO FOR NOW YOU TWO HAVE HURT ME, NOW I FEEL SAD, NOW I FEEL THE NEED TO GO APESHIT AND WANT TO COUGH UP BLOOD AND MAKE MY VOICE HEARD FOR I AM ADOLF HITLER THE GREATEST MAN ALIVE, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THAT YOU TRAITORS?!"
"I honestly didn't understand a word you just said, your accent is thick as is but you crying makes it worse, could you repeat that?" Asked Daisy.
"I FUCKING HATE YOU!" Hitler screamed right up in her face, his mustache brushing against her lips.
Hitler put his whip down and then handed Donald and Daisy some torches.
"BURN ALL OF YOUR MERCHANDISE!"
Hitler and a bunch of other Nazis who marched into the room held the ducks at gunpoint as the ducks burned down all of their merch. Donald and Daisy looked as the pictures, stuffed animals, and sex toys with their faces on it were burnt away.
"NO YOU WILL FEEL THE BURN, I AM REWARDING YOU TWO WITH FREE TICKETS TO AUSCHWITZ!"
"OH GOD NO!" They yelled at Hitler
"OH GOD YES!" Hitler yelled back.
"WE WILL BECOME NAZIS, THE DISNEY COMPANY WILL BE IN FULL SUPPORT, HEIL HITLER!" Donald and Daisy screamed.
"NOPE!"
The ducks were then thrown on a train and honey it wasn't going to Hogwarts.
"Oh shit Donald I am too lavish for this place!" Daisy screamed, "why do we have to go to fucking Auschwitz, why can't it be one of the nicer ones!"
All of the Jews in the train were screaming at the top of their lungs and were banging on the doors to attempt to get out. Some Nazis who were hanging out of the train shot the people as they tried to escape and corpses were flying right up into the duck's faces.
"This train is depressing!" Donald pouted.
The train chugga chugga choo chooed along until they arrived at the mother of all campsites.
"DONALD I DO NOT WANT TO GO OUT THERE!"
"READ THE ROOM, IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE ANYONE DOES!"
Everyone was thrown out of the train and the men and women were beginning to get split up.
"Donald, we have to do something I am not living at this dump for the rest of the war slash my life!"
"Well I have a plan, but it may be tricky, we will both act up so we get put in gas chambers, and then we hold our breath until the oven beeps and we can then play dead, and when they are getting rid of our corpses we will quickly grab a gun from the Nazis, kill some Nazis, and escape as fast as we can!"
"THAT IS A HORRIBLE PLAN!"
"OR WE COULD JUST LIVE HERE AND HOPE FOR THE BEST, UP TO YOU!"
"FINE WE'LL DO IT!"
Donald and Daisy were separated into the groups of men and women and immediately acted a fool.
"HITLER SUCKS!" Daisy yelled.
"NAZIS ARE STUPID DUMB BITCHES!" Donald stated.
"JEWISH PEOPLE ARE AMAZING AND YOU GUYS ARE NOT AMAZING!"
They then went to the floor and began kicking and screaming like five year olds.
"SEND THESE TWO TO THE GAS CHAMBERS!" The Nazis yelled in German but I don't feel like going on Google Translate.
Donald and Daisy were brought to a gas chamber. The Jews around them had to get naked but the ducks were already naked from when Hitler was whipping them so they just stood and watched awkwardly. Everyone was brought into the chamber and the Nazis lied, "THIS IS A CHILL PROCESS YOU WILL BE FINE!"
The chamber went pitch black.
"Hold your breath like never before!" Donald whispered to Daisy.
The ducks held their breath and covered their nostrils for a full fifteen minutes. There were many points where they felt like they were gonna pass out, but they kept up with all their might. They both started shaking and decided to lay on the floor with the other corpses, which was a good idea to do anyway since it made them look dead. But after the fifteen minute period the lights came back on and the gas had went away or something. Donald and Daisy both started coughing profusely and gasped for all the air that they missed.
"THAT FUCKING SUCKED!" Daisy yelled.
"I ACTUALLY THOUGHT MY THROAT WOULD EXPLODE!" Donald stated.
The door then opened.
"Oh shit, play dead!" Donald whispered over.
"I know Donald, I'm not retarded!" Daisy said out loud.
"Shut the fuck up!" Donald whispered aggressively.
"Did one of them just talk?" One of the Nazis asked.
The Nazi who asked that then got shot to death, "SPED NAZIS DIE?!"
All of the corpses and Donald and Daisy were gathered up and placed on top of each other. A Nazi then lit a fire that began to hit some of the corpses.
"Now seems like a good time to get the fuck up," Daisy whispered as the flames came closer.
The ducks jumped out of the pile. The Nazis were so shocked that it was actually easy for both of the ducks to quickly grab a gun and begin shooting all of the surrounding Nazis to death.The ducks got the idea to put two of Nazi's uniforms on to disguise themselves. The ducks began walking out of the camp with some more Nazis but one of them recognized them.
"BUT DONALD AND DAISY ARE ON HITLER'S BYE BYE LIST!" Another Nazi yelled.
Donald and Daisy began shooting at all of the Nazis around them but now several Nazis were chasing after them and shooting. The ducks had to duck down and hide behind some corpses as they quickly shot at some of the Nazis from behind.
"HOW MANY FUCKING ARE THERE!" Daisy screamed.
At that point every single Nazi at Auschwitz was chasing after them.
"WE HAVE TO LOSE THEM SOMEHOW!" Donald stated.
They ended up climbing on top of one of the Barracks and shot at all of the Nazis below. The sun was thankfully very bright that day and Donald and Daisy were standing in direct view of it so they could hardly see. In a matter of seconds all of the Nazis were dead or severely injured.
"COME ON, LET'S GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Daisy screamed.
Donald and Daisy ran out the exit and left the doors open for everyone else to escape as well.
"Well that was fun!" Donald panted.
"We got company!" Daisy pointed at paparazzi.
"Quick, rip the Nazi symbols off these uniforms!"
They ripped them off and smiled at the cameras.
Donald and Daisy flew back home and people were literally lying on the runway waiting for their arrival. Word had gotten out that Donald and Daisy rescued many a Jew and some homos too at Auschwitz and that now Hitler was in big fucking trouble because the Concentration Camps were largely a rumor at this point.
"I can't believe you rescued all those kikes!" Walt screamed angrily, lighting ninety five cigars.
"BITCH YOU AND HITLER FUCKING SUCK!" Donald screamed.
"HITLER IS AMAZING HOW DARE YOU!"
"DO NOT SPEAK TO US THAT WAY!" Daisy jumped onto Walt's desk and screamed at him.
"Oh God!" Walt screamed, "but I'm more mad than scared at the moment, I am just so upset!"
"YOU FUCKING RETARD, HITLER PUT DAISY AND I IN AUSCHWITZ..."
"You're two favorite creatures!" Daisy interjected.
"AND ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS YOUR RETARD FRIENDSHIP WITH HITLER, NOT THE FACT THAT WE COULD HAVE DIED!"
"WELL I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE ANYMORE, YOU TWO MAY HAVE BEEN FINE FOR ALL I KNOW!"
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE WALT, THAT IS IT, I AM LEAVING AND SMOKING A CIG!" Daisy ran out the room.
"ME TOO!"
"WAIT DON'T LEAVE, I HAVE CIGS!" Walt stated.
"CIGARETTES DIPSHIT!" Daisy yelled running out the door, but then she came back in and said, "sorry I know it could have meant that."
Donald and Daisy walked outside of the studio to smoke and the second they went out of the door Hitler and several Nazis jumped on top of them.
"SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!" Daisy screamed.
"OH MY GOD HITLER IS ATTACKING DONALD AND DAISY!" People around screamed.
Everyone in ToonTown started freaking the fuck out and eventually Walt ran down to see what the ruckus was.
"IT IS TOO DAMN LOUD OUT HER... OH MY FUCKING GOD!"
Walt saw Hitler attacking Donald and Daisy. Walt pulled out a knife and slashed a gash across his stomach and then lit ten trillion cigars.
"WALT HAS BEEN HORRIBLE, WALT NEEDS TO BE PUNISHED, WALT DID NOT BELIEVE THAT DONALD AND DAISY WERE TRULY IN DANGER FROM ADOLF HITLER!"
"BUT WALT THESE TWO TRIED TO RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP!"
"WELL OUR FRIENDSHIP IS OVER NOW, DONALD AND DAISY ARE MY SAVIORS AND YOU TRIED TO HURT THEM, NOW I MUST HURT YOU!"
Walt jumped on top of Hitler and dragged his ass into the street. Donald and Daisy got excited for a big fight but quickly remembered that Walt and Hitler were two skinny white guys so this wasn't going to be at the same level as MMA. The two of them threw punches at each other, wrestled, and Donald and Daisy thought they could see them kissing a few times. But in the middle of their fight a car zipped by and struck both of them, breaking several of their bones. Walt was sent to the nearest hospital, but Hitler was so pissed that he forced the doctors to send him back to Germany so he could be as far from Walt and the ducks as possible.
"I AM SO FUCKING MAD!" Walt screamed in his hospital bed a week later.
Walt would unfortunately be making a full recovery since the car didn't completely drive over the two of them, but he would be in the hospital for a few weeks, which was still nice for Donald and Daisy since this meant he could fuck off. They were also happy that now the company finally didn't look like the Nazis as the "fight" between Walt and Hitler was heard about and seen through paparazzi photos everywhere, so coupled with the photos of Donald and Daisy saving Jews the Disney Company was the best fighting force in World War II. But Walt was still angry.
"I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE HE DID THAT TO ME!" Walt shrieked.
"Well believe it now," smiled Daisy.
"I HATE HITLER AND I HATE THE NAZIS, AND I AM EVEN AGAINST THEM KILLING JEWS EVEN JUST BECAUSE I HATE THE NAZIS AND I WISH I CAME UP WITH THAT IDEA FIRST!"
"See you are growing as a person!" Donald grinned.
"I sure am, and I have decided that we need to get back at Hitler by turning this company against him, I know that we are getting less attention due to the war being a little more popular than the studio at the moment, so let's combine Disney with the war..."
"Let's create Nazi propaganda, I said it first so we get credit!" Daisy blurted out.
Donald and Daisy had actually wanted to avoid making propaganda short films like they did in the original World War II, an idea that was all Mickey and Minnie's but they pussied out of starring in them, outside of one short film that Minnie starred in that was only targeted towards chicks at home waiting for the husbands to kick, and instead forced Donald to do them instead. They didn't like doing them but some of them were very successful so the ducks knew it would only be a matter of time before they could do it again. However Daisy decided that it would be best for Donald to just star in them himself.
"Well all of the original propaganda short films did great with you at the helm of them and if it ain't broke don't fix it!" Daisy said as they were driving home from the hospital.
"Girl you just don't wanna be in them!"
"Like fucking hell I don't, do you know how controversial this shit can get?!"
"Yes I do, I actually almost got kidnapped by Nazis and sent to a concentration camp the first time I had to do this dumbass propaganda!"
In the span of two weeks Donald shot several World War II propaganda short films. These included classics such as Donald Gets Drafted, Commando Duck, the New Spirit, and Donald's Decision. These short films were all instant hits and got more attention than the actual people fighting in the war. This also brought about more propaganda from other studios, which tried to capture the fame that Donald was getting from all of this, including Daffy who made the short films Daffy the Commando, which sounded a lot like Commando Duck to Donald and Daisy, and also a short film with a large cast of ducks pretending to be Hitler and Italian and Japanese Hitler as ducks which was called the Ducktators. Donald and Daisy were actually really pissed that they didn't come up with this name on their own as well as forgot that it came out during their original timeline because this would have done great for them. However, all of these short films with Donald were doing incredibly well and people including regular fans as well as soldiers and even some Nazis who quit their job because of how in awe they were of these short films absolutely loved them. Hitler actually sent Donald a letter in the mail saying,