The Original Ducksekeeter

Chapter 26: Walt's New Friend

Snow White's production was moving and grooving towards its December release. It would be filmed every single day for hours on end and made a lot of progress, and something that was great about Snow White's production was that Donald and Daisy didn't have to actually work on the movie at all but they still owned all the rights to it and got paid all of the money since they came up with the idea. Lying gets you money. Production for it was hard because Snow White was scared to film any scene that was frightening even though everyone on set reminded her that none of this was real and that she needed to calm her ass down. Also there were problems with the fact that a lot of dwarves got mad because Walt would always call them Midget 1, Midget 2, etc. and many women were offended because Walt refused to let them have any high power on set. Thank God we have people today like Rachel Zegler who fight for the major problems women everywhere have, like how Snow White can be offensive. Although even though Donald and Daisy heard that there were problems on set, they were not prepared for the day when they decided to visit for one day where they were free. The set was literally on fire for some reason, Snow White was hiding and nobody could find her, and Walt wasn't even paying attention and instead was just fucking two of the female employees. Although this did give Donald and Daisy a boost of confidence because it made them realize how well put together sets are when they are there and in control. By some miracle though, the movie was able to wrap production in November. Promotion for the movie had been going on since production started in April, including a trailer where Walt introduced everyone to the characters, so all the movie needed to do now was come out. The original premiere was at the Carthay Circle Theater in Los Angeles but Donald and Daisy felt that it needed a better place than whatever that place is, this was the first Disney movie after all, so they decided to have it at the Colosseum in Rome, which Walt felt was a phenomenal idea. The two of them used this as an excuse to live in Rome for a month, staying at a beautiful castle. On the first day there they went to the Colosseum to set up the seating and screens for the premiere. After the first day though they just spent time roaming around Rome and getting into all sorts of fun. They also just liked being at the castle, which was very old and historic, and the two of them would find old Roman clothes and act like they were in a Shakespeare play. This was kinda gay but when in Rome. Once December 21st arrived, Donald and Daisy dressed up in the most incredible outfits, Donald's was inspired by the Prince in Snow White, while Daisy's was inspired by, of course, Snow White, but looked nicer. They were escorted to the Colosseum in a horse drawn carriage and like all of their premieres it was very a hopping event.
"WHO THE FUCK IS READY FOR SNOW WHITE!" Walt screamed to everyone there.
While there was still of course an incredible turnout, there were a few less people because it was in another continent and a lot of the Disney fans were broke from spending so much at Disneyland that they couldn't afford a ticket and so they had to swim, but a lot of them drowned. Donald and Daisy were also happy because they only had to get half of the attention since Walt brought out the scary ass costumes of Donald and Daisy from Disneyland which attracted attention that would have otherwise gone to them. The red carpet ceremony for the premiere was two hours with every single cast member getting a chance to walk down. Although an hour of these two hours was just for Snow White who was being very dramatic and had to stop every two milliseconds to pose for a photo. Eventually everyone went into the Colosseum and got situated. The seats were very uncomfortable outside of Donald, Daisy and Walt who got to sit in thrones that used to be for the Roman emperors to sit in, but they were refurbished to look beautiful for them. Before the movie started there were five Gladiator tournaments with the slaves, who were painted white to look like white people even though there is that black guy in the Gladiator movie. After the fifth fight six large screens were put up around the arena and the was played on them. Towards the last third of the movie Walt lit one thousand cigars, turned to Donald and Daisy, and said, "alright go down to the center of the arena to present the movie!"
"Walt, you didn't tell us we had to do something tonight!" Daisy bitched.
"Well yeah, here I wrote this for y'all to read down there!" Walt handed them a piece of paper.
"Okay well this movie is boring so I'll leave!" Donald stated.
"Fine!"
Donald and Daisy left their seating section and went down a bunch of hallways in the Colosseum. While on their way down they saw Goofy taking Snow White's virginity in the corner, who had snuck off because she got scared of the scene where there are scary trees in the forest, even though that retard literally filmed the scene and knew it was coming.
"GARSH YOU ARE FUCKING HOT!" Goofy cummed.
"YOU FEEL GOOD BUT YOU ARE SPOOKY LOOKING!" Snow White screamed, "AND THIS FEELS STRANGE!" She said like a prude.
Donald and Daisy watched until Goofy began licking her feet which made them un cozy and kept on walking towards where they would talk. They reached the door that led to the middle of the colosseum just as the movie ended, and while there was already an insane and over dramatic standing ovation after the movie ended it only got crazier when the people in the crowd noticed that Donald and Daisy were walking out. People jumped from the seats and into the middle where Donald and Daisy were and ended up breaking bones or dying next to the corpses of the slaves in the gladiator fights. There was a podium that Walt put there for Donald and Daisy to stand on and make their speech.
They began reading off from the paper Walt gave them, "YOU ALL HAVE JUST WITNESSED THE GREATEST MOTION PICTURE EVER!"
They continued talking about how Snow White is a masterpiece and how it is the greatest thing ever blah blah blah, but the two of them did add a section where they reminded everyone how it was their idea and they deserved all the credit for it. Suddenly during a part of their speech where they were talking about Snow White's performance, lying by saying that it was good, coincidentally Goofy came out holding Snow White over his shoulder and yelled, "THIS PRUDE CAN'T FUCK FOR SHIT!"
Everyone in the crowd began yelling at Goofy for fucking Snow White and Goofy screamed back at them saying they were all jealous. The Prince jumped from his seat and broke his leg so bad that the bone got ripped out of his flesh. Goofy jumped on top of him and began beating him up more.
"KILL HIM GOOFY!" Yelled the Evil Queen.
The audience realized she was there and began attacking her. Eventually the Evil Queen was also thrown into the middle with everyone else, landing right on top of the Prince, breaking even more bones in his body, and then Goofy got onto her and fucked her as well.
"THANKS FOR COMING!" Daisy grinned and then Walt forced everyone to leave.
Even though the premiere went out of hand it was still successful enough because everyone loved the movie. Once the movie actually hit movie theaters across the world, every single person in the world saw it and it made more money than anything the Disney company had made before that wasn't a Donald and Daisy short film. And every cent that people paid to see the movie turned into what Donald and Daisy have sex on in their vault. One night after they finished up doing this, Daisy began talking excitedly about their achievement.
"I knew Snow White would be a success but it still feels so tasty!"
"I love making money!" Donald responds.
"And we didn't even have to work for it!"
"I wish we could say that about everything because I just can't wait to film more Donald and Daisy Duck Club tomorrow!" Donald said sarcastically.
"It's not that bad, the kids aren't as annoying as they could be, although I'm through with Walt being such a fucking pedophile!"
"At least over the past few days he's seemed to calm down!"
"I guess but maybe he's trying to convince us he's innocent so that we won't be paying attention and then he's gonna pinch their minge, I like that rhyme, but do I sound paranoid?"
"No and also that doesn't rhyme!"
"Well it almost does, what do I look like fucking Dr. Suess to you?!"
"No, but you do look horny!"
Daisy leaped onto Donald and they began sinking in the cash.
"Although I guess Walt is probably busy with that new friend of his," Donald said while they were fucking.
"AM I REALLY SO FUCKING BORING THAT WE NEED SMALL TALK?!" Daisy yelled.
Once they finished Daisy asked, "what new friend?"
"I don't know but Walt keeps spending time with this new person!"
"Since when?"
"Since recently he's just been saying I can't do this and that because I'm with my new friend," Donald explained.
"Why don't I know about this?"
"You must not be paying attention."
"Bitch I pay attention to everything!"
"Well he's been friends with him a while now!"
"You know it's a him?"
"I know Walt wouldn't be just friends with a woman!"
"Well hopefully he keeps Walt away from us," Daisy smiled, "would you ever be just friends with me?"
The two of them hopped onto and into each other and began round two.
The next day while filming the Donald and Daisy Duck Club both of the ducks had the worst headaches of their lives. They hadn't even taken a sip of alcohol the night before so they couldn't imagine what the problem was, all they knew was that it felt like someone tied a fucking rope around their skull.
"Donald what is happening?!" Daisy yelled.
"I don't know but I need some fucking Tylenol!"
"And I need a couple shots of vodka!"
"That's gonna help you get rid of a headache?!"
"Taking the hair of the dog always works when I have a hangover and I see no reason why it wouldn't work now!"
"Filming starts in thirty seconds, everyone get in your places!" The director of the episode yelled.
"WHAT?!" Donald and Daisy screamed.
"We are about to film the dance!"
"DONALD AND I CANNOT DANCE RIGHT NOW, WE NEED TO CURE OUR HEADACHES!"
"Sorry but we are on a tight schedule!"
"WE ARE THE CREATORS, WE RUN THIS SHOW, OUR SCHEDULE IS WHATEVER THE FUCK WE WANT IT TO BE!"
But the asshole already started filming and the little kiddies began dancing.
"He is getting fired the second this episode is finished!" Daisy stated.
Donald and Daisy were supposed to dance in the middle of all the kids who formed a circle for them, and even though they did not want to, they are professionals and so they begrudgingly danced in the middle. They tried to dance as calm as they could but at the same time still look badass, and they did wonder if dancing would get their minds off of their headaches which was not the case at all. Instead their heads were feeling worse than they had in the history of their heads existence, and their heads had expedited some vicious hangovers. The second the director yelled "CUT!" the ducks both threw up on him and fell to the floor.
"WHERE IS THE MEDICINE?!" Donald screamed.
"WALT'S OFFICE!"
Donald and Daisy crawled to Walt's office slower than fucking snails, but when they opened up the door the sight that they saw actually made them forget about the headache for a few seconds. Walt was having straight up vaginal sex with one of the little girls in the cast, and was sucking on the vagina of another. He poked his up and said, "I could have sworn I locked that door!"
Daisy took Tylenol and drank it down with two shots of vodka before yelling, "WALT OH MY GOD!"
"I know this looks bad but..."
"DON'T EVEN BOTHER SAYING FINISHING THAT SENTENCE, WALT YOU ARE A DISGUSTING HORRIBLE FUCKING PIG AND I WANT YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT!"
"BUT THIS IS MY OFFICE!"
"NOT ANYMORE YOU ARE FIRED FROM THIS PRODUCTION!"
"YOU CAN'T FIRE ME FROM ANY DISNEY PRODUCTION I AM WALT DISNEY!"
"YES I CAN, DONALD AND I OWN THIS COMPANY YOU ARE WORTHLESS HERE WITHOUT US AND WE ARE HERE TO SAY THAT YOU ARE FUCKING FIRED FROM THE DONALD AND DAISY DUCK CLUB, YOU ARE NOT A DUCKSEKEETER, GET THE FUCK OFF OF SET RIGHT NOW!"
Walt began sobbing like a five year old.
"PLEASE I WILL CHANGE, I WON'T RAPE ANYMORE LITTLE GIRLS!"
"GET THE FUCK OUT!"
"DAISY I LOVE YOU!"
"GET THE FUCK OUT!"
"I LOVE YOU TOO DONALD, I WILL EVEN GO GAY FOR YOU IF YOU WANT!"
Daisy walked up to a phone and called 911.
"DAISY NO!"
"THIS IS DAISY DUCK, I JUST CAUGHT WALT DISNEY FUCKING TWO LITTLE GIRLS ON THE SET OF THE DONALD AND DAISY DUCK CLUB!"
"You're bluffing you wouldn't arrest me, I have done so much for you and you too Donald!" Walt smiled.
But suddenly cops ran into the room and Walt lit three trillion cigars in fear.
"WALT DISNEY YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!"
"NO PLEASE I BARELY FUCKED THEM!"
The cops tried to get his hands in handcuffs but Walt refused.
"I DON'T WANT HANDCUFFS!"
A cop pulled out his gun and pointed it right at Walt's head.
"PUT THOSE FUCKING HANDCUFFS ON OR I WILL SHOOT!"
Walt put them on and was escorted out by the cops. Even though they were pissed and wanted to throw up even more by Walt fucking those two little girls, they were thrilled that he was arrested and that now he was no longer on set. Filming of the episodes ended up feeling so much more calm and happier without Walt having to be in the way of everything. Donald and Daisy hoped that Walt would go to prison for life or something beautiful like that but unfortunately he was bailed out almost immediately by his new friend.
"I don't know who Walt's new friend is but I hate him now!" Daisy stated after finding out this news.
But even if he was released from prison Walt was still completely banned from the set of the Donald and Daisy Duck Club and the FBI would surround the location making sure Walt couldn't get in. Suddenly this show became Donald and Daisy's new favorite project to work on simply because they knew that they wouldn't have to deal with Walt there. And it was much nicer for the little girls on the set now for obvious reasons, like they didn't have to smell so much cigar smoke anymore, I'm just kidding that's not the reason it's because they didn't have to worry about getting raped. But Walt later decided to have a party to apologize and show everyone that he wasn't really that much of a perv.
"I can't believe that this is about to happen!" Donald said when he and Daisy were getting ready for the party.
"Well believe it now because it's going to be what we have to suffer through for the next however many hours!"
"Since when does Walt care what other people even think of him, he just takes his money and runs and is content with the fact that everyone hates him!"
"It's not really the people at the party who he wants to regain sympathy from, it's the people who look at the pictures of the people at the party who he wants to remind how perfect he is so that they continue to pay to go to Disneyland!"
"Well they have us for that, and speaking of people at the party do you think Walt's new friend will be there!"
"He better, I wanna know who that bitch is!"
The ducks arrived at the party and began looking around and tried to guess if anyone they saw was this new friend, but this excitement ended when Walt stepped up to the podium to welcome everyone there and said, "unfortunately my new friend couldn't make it tonight!"
"Let's leave!" Donald and Daisy both turned and said to each other.
"Now I just want to start by saying that I am very sorry," Walt began sobbing and wiped his tears away with a cigar which he then smoked, "for the sins I have committed, I will never do anything of that sort once more!"
Donald and Daisy made their way over to the bar to get some drinks for the road, before Daisy realized that Mortimer was sitting right next to her.
"Oh shit Donald this party is going so downhill I think 9/11 jumpers are behind it!"
"That sounds a bit over dramatic don't you think!" Mortimer said to Daisy.
"BITCH YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS THE MOST OVER DRAMATIC BITC..."
"Okay Daisy!"
"DON'T INTERRUPT ME DONALD, MORTIMER YOU ARE PISSING ME OFF AND I HAVE JUST GOTTEN SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR SHIT!"
"WELL I COULD SAY THE SAME ABOUT YOU!"
"We're leaving!" Donald screamed.
"NO WE ARE NOT I AM NOT FINISHED WITH THIS DIPSHIT!"
"Daisy I have learned anger is never the answer!" Walt smiled.
"GO FUCK SOME NICU CHICKS YOU RETARD, AND MORTIMER IT'S ABOUT TIME THAT THE TWO OF US GO HEAD TO HEAD SO LET'S START!"
"I AM NIGHT ARGUING WITH YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF A FUCKING PARTY!"
"THEN LET'S TAKE IT OUTSIDE!"
"IT'S TOO COLD!"
"OH MY GOD, OKAY FINE NEXT FRIDAY I WILL COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE AND THE TWO OF US ARE GONNA SORT SOME SHIT OUT, SOUNDS GOOD, GOOD, DONALD WE OUT!"
Donald and Daisy drove back home and Daisy complained the entire way.
"Mortimer is making me lose my damn mind, he is so stupid!"
"Well Daisy sometimes you sound dumb like him too!"
"Donald I am gonna kick your ass for that one!"
"Well both of you are acting like you're on the damn playground or something!"
"Well at least I look hot so I've got that going for me!"
"Where?!"
"In the argument, if people were to look at us argue like they did tonight then they would prefer me because I am better to look at!"
"Well I guess that makes sense!"
"It does, oh and where the fuck is Walt's new friend?!"
"I know, I mean why wasn't he here tonight?!"
"I don't know, but it's working me up, I mean what is the deal with this?!"
"Maybe he's not real!"
"I know, I've thought that too, Walt maybe wants attention and so he can just say oh I have to leave and meet up with my new friend!"
"But why would Walt want to leave us on purpose, making up a friend to get away from people sounds more like something we'd do!"
"That's true, but I gotta know who it is!"
The fascination only grew more when halfway through filming a Donald and Daisy Duck short film Walt got a phone call and he told everyone on the set, "I gotta see my new friend!"
Once Walt left Donald and Daisy began asking around the crew who they thought Walt's new friend was but nobody else but them seemed to give a shit.
"Why are we the only two people interested?!" Daisy screamed when they got on break.
"What if they know something we don't!"
"What if Walt's friend is them!"
Donald thought for a second and then said, "what?"
"I don't know, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ANYMORE!"
Donald and Daisy decided that if everyone else couldn't care less then they shouldn't either and so they just let it go and ended up forgetting about for the most part. But one night Walt called Donald and Daisy sobbing.
"I JUST CAN'T SLEEP, I FEEL HORRIBLE FOR THE WAY I TREATED YOU, CAN I PLEASE APOLOGIZE, I KNOW I ALREADY HAD THE APOLOGY PARTY BUT I WANT A MORE PERSONAL ONE, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!"
"Well I can't go, sorry," Daisy said happily and hung up the phone.
It rang again and Donald picked it up.
"PLEASE I ONLY NEED ONE OF YOU, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, AND TOMORROW IS THE ONLY DAY I CAN DO IT BECAUSE EVERY OTHER DAY I AM WITH MY NEW FRIEND..."
"Just as I was getting over it!" Daisy stomped.
"...AND IF I DON'T DO IT I HAVE TO JUST KEEP CALLING EVERY SINGLE NIGHT AND APOLOGIZE THROUGH THE PHONE BECAUSE I AM JUST SO DAMN SAD!"
"Okay fine but only one of us has to come right?"
"Correct," Walt said with a sad little whimper.
Donald and Daisy played Rock Paper Scissors to see who had to go and Donald ended up beating Daisy with paper.
"I should have known you were gonna flash out your hand like that gay bow!"
"DAISY WILL BE THERE!" Donald giggled into the phone while Daisy cried herself to sleep.
Daisy walked into Walt's office where he was smoking a trillion cigars.
"Take a seat, or stand, whatever you want," he began sobbing, "I don't want to sound controlling!"
"Just cut to the fucking chase!"
"You're right I probably should, and my new friend will be here soon anyway, it turns out he's coming in today after all, but I still wanted to have the meeting to get the," he began sobbing very hard, "pain off my chest!"
"Well if your new friend is gonna be here I guess I should leave!"
"Why?"
"Because, well I don't know it seems like he is a secret or something!"
"Why would he be a secret?"
"I don't know, why haven't I met him yet?!"
"I don't know, you just haven't gotten the chance yet, it's nothing suspicious or anything!"
"Well I guess I just looked too far into it!"
"I guess you did, would you like to meet him?"
"YES?!" Daisy screamed excitedly before calming down and repeating, "yes."
"Okay then, I'll go get him, here's some coffee while you wait!"
Walt handed Daisy a cup of coffee and walked out the door, and Daisy sipped on it practically bouncing up and down. She waited for a couple of anxious minutes before Walt opened the door and came back in with his new friend. Daisy about choked to death on her coffee and had a stroke. She didn't even know what exactly she could expect from whoever Walt's new friend was, but it certainly was not who walked through that door. Because Walt's new friend was Adolf Hitler.
Donald was at home doing the dishes when Daisy burst through the door.
"I MET WALT'S NEW FRIEND!"
"YOU ARE FUCKING LYING!"
"I AM NOT!"
"WHO THE FUCK IS IT?!"
"DONALD IT IS FUCKING INSANE!"
"WHO IS IT DAISY?!"
"OH MY GOD!"
"SPIT IT OUT I NEED TO KNOW WHO IT IS OR I WILL DIE!"
"BECAUSE I WAS HONESTLY WONDERING IF IT WOULD JUST SOME RANDOM PERSON AND IT WOULD BE TRUE THAT THE TWO OF US WERE JUST BEING DRAMATIC BUT WE WERE RIGHT!" Daisy began hyperventilating.
"HOLY FUCK WHO IS IT?!" Donald stomped all over the floor.
"I CAN BARELY BREATH, HERE I'LL GIVE YOU A HINT!"
Daisy put two fingers under her nose.
"GET THE FUCK OUT!"
"I AM SERIOUS AS THE HEART ATTACK I HAD WHEN I SAW HIM!"
"FUCKING HITLER!"
"YES, DONALD I ACTUALLY CAN BARELY EVEN MOVE THAT IS HOW SHOCKED I AM!"
"SO WHAT HAPPENED, I MEAN DID YOU TALK TO HIM!"
"WELL I COULDN'T MOVE AT FIRST, AND DURING THIS TIME WHERE I COULDN'T MOVE WALT AND, I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM SAYING THIS, HITLER TOLD ME ABOUT HOW THEY MET BECAUSE HITLER LOVED SNOW WHITE AND IT BECAME HIS FAVORITE MOVIE AND NOW THE TWO OF THEM CAN'T STOP HANGING OUT WITH EACH OTHER, AND THEN HITLER TOLD ME HE WAS A BIG FAN OF THE TWO OF US AND HOW HE CONSIDERS HIMSELF A DUCKSEKEETER AND THEN HE KISSED MY HAND AND THE LITTLE HAIRS ON HIS LITTLE MUSTACHE BRUSHED AGAINST MY SKIN AND EW DONALD GET HIM AWAY FROM ME!"
"WHAT HAPPENED NEXT?!"
"ONCE I COULD MOVE AGAIN JUST SAID I WAS LATE FOR SOMETHING AND LEFT AS QUICK AS I COULD, OH GOD DONALD DO YOU THINK I LOOKED RUDE, DO YOU THINK HE'LL PUT ME IN AUSCHWITZ?!"
"Okay I think we both need to calm down, let's smoke some pot and fuck in the vault!"
"Good idea!"
"I mean was Walt friends with Hitler even back in the Mickey and Minnie days?" Daisy asked after they fucked.
"I don't think so, but I also was trying to keep away from Walt as much as I could back then!"
"It's just fucking gross!"
"And World War II starts next year!"
"Oh shit, well at least America doesn't become involved until later!"
"But will Walt be in contact with Hitler during the entire war, will he support him?!"
"Come on Donald, does Walt really seem like the kind of person who would round up Jews and put them in a gas chamber?!" Daisy took a big hit on her pot and even laughed a little after saying that one.
"Oh shit I just do not like this one, even if I do find it entertaining!"
"Entertaining?!"
"What, is Walt being friends with Adolf Hitler not in any way amusing to you?!"
The two of them both began laughing hard, until Daisy began sobbing and shrieked, "OH MY GOD ARE COMPANY HAS NAZIS, we need to do something about this!"
"We can't do anything about it, it's Walt's problem not ours!"
"Well it could become our problem if people find out our company is associated with that bitch!"
"Okay but Hitler at least hasn't done anything that bad yet," by early 1938 Hitler most certainly had done some bad things yet but Americans brushed over that, "we don't have to worry too much until a while from now, and maybe Walt and Hitler will stop being friends soon, who knows Hitler may even have his standards and want to ditch that dumbass!"
"I don't even want to think anymore, I just want to get stoned!" Daisy said, and that's what she did.
Daisy had gotten so immersed in Walt being friends with Hitler that she forgot about how she was going to go to Mortimer's house on Friday to have an argument, and Friday was today.
"Shit I'm not prepared for an argument, my mind is on Hitler, how am I going to win?!" Daisy asked herself while driving to Mortimer's house.
She knocked on the door and he answered saying, "I AM READY TO ARGUE CUNT!"
"Can we reschedule shit has come up?"
"No, and it's you who wanted it to be today!"
"I'm aware of that and I think that also means that I should be in charge of whether or not we reschedule!"
"What is such a big deal that we have to reschedule?!"
"I'm not a gossiper," a short pause, "Walt's new friend is Hitler!"
"HITLER?!"
"SSSSSSHHHHHHHHH, shut your dumbass up, okay I'll come inside!"
Even though Mortimer hadn't lived through World War II yet, in the billion years in Mathmagic Land the ducks would literally just talk about anything bullshit they could think of and that included the tale of Hitler.
"How did you find out?!" Mortimer asked.
"Because he straight up walked into Walt's office!"
"And it wasn't Charlie Chaplin or something?"
"He was caked in Nazi finery, and he was German, and he introduced himself as Adolf Hitler, and he commented on what me having a long beak meant in terms of my heritage!"
"This is interesting, BUT WE ARE STILL FIGHTING!"
"OH MY GOD FINE, let's just start from the beginning, why are we fighting in the first place?!"
"Because you are a bitch!"
"I AM NOT A BITCH I JUST DON'T WANT TO BE SYMPATHETIC TO A BIG COMPLAINER LIKE YOU!"
"I AM NOT A COMPLAINER!"
"YES YOU ARE, THIS WHOLE FIGHT BEGAN BECAUSE YOUR DUMBASS WAS TRYING TO GET ME TO FEEL BAD THAT YOUR LESS FAMOUS THAN ME!"
"Okay well I'll admit that I was being dramatic that night!"
"Then why have we been arguing for the past four years?!"
"You've never let me admit that I was dramatic!"
"Oh fuck so the two of us haven't even had to hate each other?"
"I guess not!"
"Well now I feel stupid, and maybe I should have just listened to you I mean I'm sure not being as famous as Donald and I isn't easy and also the fact that Walt tries to make everyone hate you!"
"It's not, well Daisy I just want to say sorry!"
"Well Mortimer," Daisy made a grossed out expression, "I refuse to apologize to people!"
"Well I feel like you understand how I feel!" Mortimer smiled, "now wanna keep talking about Hitler?"