Spring Moon

12

I was convinced that the reason for my frozen state in front of the door was that I was too startled to see Kevin up close. Like this was some kind of a lucid dream. However, I shrugged the thought off because there was another valid reason I could use.

The roses, 3 of them, were the reason.

I was no florist but I did know flowers which I looked up out of curiosity during my free time. I wondered if Kevin also did the same because I wouldn't want to be delusional to transfer 3 roses from his hands into mine thinking that he was telling me I love you indirectly.

"You came..." I pulled up a smile before I took a sniff of the rosy scent. "You didn't reply to me so I thought you weren't interested."

"Hmm... surprise?" He cheekily said and I found myself softly laughing at him. He was too cute.

"Ivy?" It was then, that Sangyeon's voice was heard from the end of the corridor, his expression was expressing sorry as he noticed Kevin's demeanour. He was sorry for interrupting our good moment. "Are you fit to go now?"

"Mhm, one sec..." I told the boss before I passed the flowers to Evelyn to hold and turned back to this dreamy guy in front of me. "Wait for me, will you?"

Kevin slightly bent forward, closing the proximity of our faces. My heart was so taken aback by the move that the beating couldn't keep up with my unfit body. God, I was worried that I had another round of nosebleeds.

"I'll be everywhere you can see," he assured me and beckoned me to leave instantly.

In every invisible footprint I left on the ground along the corridor, my heart was yearning to be closer to him. We rarely met and talked, but when we had the opportunity, it was too short. Life sometimes could be seen as unfair but I believed that there would be a rainbow after rain.

Just as I turned the corner, my face fell at the sight I saw. A figure was leaning against the wall with hands pocketed, his expression was gloomy. It was as if he was about to cry but that was my raw guess. Joochan slowly trailed his gaze at me and I saw how struggling he was to pull up his smile.

Maybe he saw Kevin? But, why should I care?

*

Kevin didn't lie that he would be everywhere I could see. He really was. He stayed with Jacob and Chanhee behind the table they used as the counter to distribute merchandise to Moonlights. I admitted that I was stealing glances in every opportunity I had but little did I know, he did the same.

Our eyes met every so often.

Probably in the 6th attempt, as Haknyeon assisted the current Moonlight for dismissal while I waited for the next in line, Kevin used his whole body to convey a message to me. It required such a great focus to understand that flapping hands which was seen like hands signage but luckily, I could immediately get it.

After this session is finished, you and I will go for a walk? Is it okay? was what he said.

I pulled up the widest grin on my face to tell him that I agreed, that we should go for one maybe as a date. And it escalated with him making a cheeky face at me to which I secretly giggled to not let anyone see us being so lovey-dovey.

But, of course, we got caught. The next second I looked for Kevin, Chanhee next to him was grimacing. His eyes flickered from Kevin and then at me before he scoffed, fanning his face with his small hand.

"Ivy," Haknyeon came next to me, kneeling before he whispered, "Do you think you can continue this? Or do you want to take five?"

"No, I'm fine," I assured. "Let's finish this and everyone can rest."

"Alright, I'll call up the next Moonlight."

As soon as Haknyeon left, another demeanour came replacing his spot which I couldn't help but look up. To my surprise, this person was triggering all the fear inside my chest to burst when he placed a drink on my table and leaned closer to my ear.

"It's iced mocha, your favourite," Joochan whispered.

The audacity.

I found myself looking up at him with hatred, shooting him a piercing glare.

"What are you doing?" I mouthed, my heartbeats were uncontrollable by now. Not because I was wavered by his action but because I was too scared to look at Kevin.

Was he looking at us now? Did he notice Joochan? Or even worse, did Kevin recognize him?

Joochan just shrugged and mindlessly left as the next Moonlight approached us, shoving a new book towards me to have my signature. And that left me with nothing other than instantly pulling up the awkward smile on my face.

I might look like I was having the best time interacting with my fans but only God knew how busy my head was praying for no misunderstanding occurred between me and Kevin later.

When the event came to an end, all my friends were nowhere to be seen. Rosie told me that they had moved to the waiting room and I felt the surge of anxiousness jerking up to the highest. Probably over my head.

Why did Kevin leave too? He'd promised to be everywhere I could see.

"God..." My heart beat irregularly, and my lower lip nearly split due to the constant biting.

Now I understood why lying and keeping out the truth weren't good things to do. It would leave you in a great misery. Every ticking of the time was like a gun was placed on your head, being on standby to kill you.

"Ivy, you haven't eaten yet. Want something?" Rosie asked as we both trailed back to the waiting room. Honestly, her voice sounded underwater. It felt like I was drowning and oxygen was running low. And the next thing I did was reach for the wall. "Ivy, you good? Wait... I'll call Sangyeon."

Before she could go further, I grabbed her wrist, requesting her to stay. Rosie had seen me in this state a lot. By now, she really knew how to calm me down. However, this time I just needed her company.

"Just..." I paused, suffocating to continue. "5 minutes... please."

Rosie did something unexpected. She moved even closer to me and little did I realize, I crashed into her arms. She patted me on my back rather comfortingly before she whispered, "I don't know what makes you anxious right now... But, Ivy, you are on the right track. Don't ever regret anything you've decided."

It was comforting. But, how should I tell Rosie that I already made a mistake? Not telling Kevin the truth about my new teammate and he probably had found out by now felt like I'd been digging my own grave.

"Is everything okay here?" A male voice was heard and we slowly broke the embrace to find the source.

I had everything inside my system stopped functioning afterwards, my legs felt like jelly - no strength to stand. But, it wasn't because Joochan was standing not far away from us, weirdly eyeing us. It was about the other figure behind Joochan who was studying the whole thing.

"Kevin..." I said his name, instructing my feet to dash towards him, and if possible bumping my shoulder against Joochan's to show him that he was no longer visible.

But, I shrugged the second point off. For, what would I get if I confronted? So, I jogged towards Kevin, my hand extended forward as if I'd been looking for him. Although it was partially correct, I masked the feeling of nervousness if anything had occurred between him and Joochan - considering that they were here together.

"You good?" Kevin questioned as soon as I got hold of his sleeve. He looked down at me lovingly, "You are pale."

"I was looking for you," I said, staring deep into his orbs. "I thought you had left."