Spring Moon

33

"I'll try my best not to let the damage worsen."

I trusted Sangyeon. He maybe couldn't do anything to stop Daisy from talking nonsense, claiming this and that but I knew Sangyeon would always have the idea of how to not let the issue spread within the community like a flu virus.

A wave of relief came crashing over me as I finally could tell the truth to at least one person. All thanks to Sangyeon who was still humane to check on the facts. Not to brag about how cool Sangyeon was but, through my experience living this life, once people heard something ridiculous about me, they tended to believe it right away which would taint my image.

It was suck.

However, though the assurance clearly did not help me with my anxiety, I found myself holding onto it tightly as if it were some kind of faith I had to believe. It wasn't a good choice to have that mindset because we couldn't predict what would happen in the future. If it was negative then I would suffer.

But, somehow, with Sangyeon, I would always dream of positivity which led me to have a little courage to go out today.

"Don't go if you don't feel good yet," nonetheless my mother had a different thought as she said from the door frame of my room, watching me get ready in front of the full-view mirror.

Seeing my own reflection, I kind of scared of myself. All black had never been my choice but here I was - black jeans and tee, high ponytail with black scrunchie and black cap ready to go.

What a mafia look.

"I need to find something not to relapse for too long," I assured, rubbing my cold hands together. "Chanhee will drive."

When I glanced over my shoulder and caught my mother's face, the look she wore definitely was disapproval. Nonetheless, despite that, she knew she couldn't go against me because I was stating the fact. I needed to heal myself.

"Just... bring the medication along. In case you need it."

I nodded, immediately grabbing it from the bedside table and shoving it into my bag.

Down there, at my porch, Chanhee had been waiting ever so leisurely - leaning against the car with sunglasses covering his eyes. He waved his hand when I appeared - smugly if I needed to say.

"Look at you losing your weight so easily..." He pushed his glasses slightly down his nose bridge, peeking out his beautiful eyes to study me.

"Faster, Chanhee..." I started to be anxious as the outdoor air hit my skin. "Before people start recognising me."

He chuckled, but still opened the door for me - scanning the area in the process like he was a spy. What a good combination of our image.

Along the journey, he didn't talk to me about the current issue though he had found out by now. I was sure he found out but to respect me, he chose to stay silent. But, for a dramatic boy like him, Choi Chanhee chose not to be silent about my love life.

"You are dying to have Kevin by your side, don't you?" He tapped the steering wheel as he waited for my answer, the tone he used was slightly high as if he was mocking me. "Trust me, I know. That's the least we expect when we are at the lowest."

"Shut up... I don't have the energy to fight with you."

From the corner of my eyes, I saw him roll his eyes in disgust. But, what I said was true - I had zero energy to fight his sarcasm.

"I just can't believe you girls," he suddenly changed the topic. "Why didn't you guys tell me the truth about Daisy? I just found out when things are this uncontrollable."