I sat on the bench for about thirty minutes until Janine came and sat next to me. She did not say a word, she just sat there and looked far into an empty space. She was probably mad at me and I did not want to step on her toes or anything.
"He died." She finally uttered something, her voice sounded like it was breaking into a cry. I did not understand what she was talking about. I furrowed my eyebrows in her direction.
"Huh?" I asked after a short while of silence.
"You asked me what happened between the guy I was in love with and I. That's my answer, he died." Oh shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! I probably triggered her emotions earlier, I was so insensitive.
When she brushed it off the day I talked about it, I thought maybe the guy moved away, or he ended up cheating, or their parents told them to split up, I thought a bunch of stuff but death was not one of them.
At that point, I did not know what to say. She hadn't faced me, she still kept her eyes in empty space. Like she was deep in thoughts and by looking at her face, I could see that the thoughts weren't very delightful. She was reliving it, and it felt a new wound.
At that moment, I thought about Carl's situation, Riley's situation and Janine's. I thought about my situation in comparison to theirs. It was... nothing. Compared to what they went through, I had what they call nice life problems. And it's like all that shaped them into the powerful characters that they were today. Janine had words of wisdom all the time, especially for her age, you would not think that she'd been through some terrible stuff too.
I guess most teenagers went through tough times. Emma, Miranda, all those terrible mates that I was not very fond of, they probably were going through the unknown too. Even the people that seemed to be smiling around the corridors every single day, they were probably wearing masks too. Adults think teenagers don't go through stuff, but we do and all we need is guidance but showing our vulnerability is hard because nobody ever really understands.
Did Henry go through bad stuff too?
I swallowed hard, then looked at her again, not sure what the right thing to say was.
"The last time I saw him, we were giving each other gifts for Christmas. It was the twenty third. He came to my house to tell me that he would be leaving with his family to go to Italy for Christmas. He asked me to go with him but I refused, I told him to go have some fun with his family. I'd see him when he came back.
"He said that he wanted to spend as much time as possible with me. "We have a lot of time when you come back," I used those exact words. He begged me but I still said no." She sniffled, but no tears were visible in her eyes. She just looked frozen and only her mouth was moving.
"He kissed me. And the way he hugged me, I swear it did feel like it was our last hug. It was like he knew he was not going to come back Elle but I could not even read between the lines." What was she talking about? It's not like the guy committed suicide, how was she supposed to know anyway?
"It was perfect. He looked at me, deep in my eyes, like he was reading my soul. I looked back, it was my favorite view anyway." Now she was reminiscing, because her lips had twitched into a soft smile. It was like she could see the picture right in the space she was looking at. She let out a soft chuckle, I could not hear it, I could just see the way her shoulders moved.
"The way he cuddled me, it felt warm and like it was home. I loved being in his arms. I could hear his heart beat, it felt like it was beating for me. It went like..." She started tapping on her thigh with her right hand, imitating the heartbeat of the love of her love, the last time she heard it.
"It sounded beautiful. He was beautiful. His lips were cold as he kissed me. He wanted more but I told him that he had to leave. Why did I tell him that? I should have stayed a little bit more. If I knew it was the last, I would have. I told him we'd continue when he came back. But he didn't. He didn't come back Elle. We were perfect, compatible and we loved each other.
"After our kiss, he looked me in my eyes and told me that he loved me. He told me he'd never stop loving me and that we'd only get separated by death. By that time, it sounded like the cheesiest yet charming thing to say. It caused my heart to flutter because I thought we had many more years to spend with each other. I did not know that death would come so soon.
"We talked everyday when he was away. We talked for hours, he'd tell me about his day, what they did and how he was thinking about me. I was practically there with them.
"On the thirtieth of December, he called me in the morning but I was sleeping. I woke up and promised myself that I would call him back after breakfast. But I forgot because my friend Linda came over. I sent Luke a text message saying we'd talk later. Then Linda and I went to a party, I still forgot to call Luke. The party was epic, I was too tired when I came back. He had left twenty missed calls. I just told myself I'd call him the following day.
"Then the following day, I didn't find his missed call like normally when I woke up. It was weird. My gut told me that something was wrong. He didn't... he didn't pick up his phone. I left countless messages and he never got back to me. I gave up after some time, thinking that he was revenging me for doing the same to him the previous night. My whole day was blue. I missed him so much.
"His mom then called me later, telling me the bad news. Somehow he drowned. I hated the fact that I could not even talk to him before then. I shouldn't have gone to that party and I shouldn't have procrastinated calling him." There still wasn't tears on her face or eyes. She was still facing the same direction and she was not moving.
"We were twelve when he asked me out. I rejected him, only because I liked the attention and the grand gestures he did. Boys normally stop those once they start dating you, but Luke never did. He continued. I decided to date him when we were thirteen. He passed on two years later. Who dies at fucking fifteen? What kind of cruelty is that? I was young but I was still in love with him, so bad even.
"So the next time you become an insensitive, disrespectful little bitch, please get your facts right." She said and got up from the bench and went in the direction of her car.
That was really horrible. The atmosphere was too sad for me. Imagine losing the love of your life at that age, it must have been horrible for her. I felt horrible for the way I talked to her earlier.
The tears in my eyes escaped and I wiped them away. How come Janine wasn't crying and I was? It was a sad story to hear. It seemed like everyone around me had some shit to deal with.
She hooted for me to come to the car. I went and got into the passenger seat. I still did not say a word.
"She ditched you?" She chuckled.
"Yea." I said.
"Not everyone gets to the happily ever after of the fairytale. Mine was cut short by the cruelty of death. That's why I did not want you to lose hope, Henry is still here and still cares about you. There's still a chance. But if you want to bury your feelings, that's your choice. You're in a tight corner anyway."
"Janine I'm sorry about what happened to Luke. I really am. I'm also sorry for how I talked to you earlier. Thanks for the ride."
"Don't worry. I get it but don't ever be mean to people because you're sad okay? You'll lose people."
"Noted." I gave her a soft smile.
The car stopped in front of my yard and I got off. I called Maddison and told her about Henry and Kylie. She officially had Kylie on her blacklist. She comforted me as I cried into the phone. We talked for hours, Riley even found us talking. Riley and Maddison hadn't met but they did say their hellos over the phone.
That would be the last night I cried over that. If Janine could be that strong regarding death, I definitely could be strong with this whole thing. It'd hurt, but I'd make sure to let it slide. I was bouncing back. And I would work on getting over Henry, if that was possible.
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YOU ARE READING
The New Boy
Teen Fiction"I'll tell you what they have in common; love. This overrated feeling that everybody desperately wants a piece of." He said it so casually, as though no matter how many arguments I would throw at him, he would still stand with his word. • "I'm not...