On Monday, I wished like my parents were like Kylie's parents. That way I could skip school to nurse my heart.
Kylie did not ask questions about why I was quiet, she was also quiet. So we were both going through some stuff and we respected that.
I knew for sure that I would bunk Mrs Nelson's period today, and yes to go to the library. I mean, where else would I bunk to? I would go to the bathroom but chances of me bumping into Emma were high and I was kind of avoiding that.
Math and Chemistry went by pretty quickly, thank goodness. As everybody moved towards Life Science, I snuck my way into the library. I pulled out a random book and placed it in front of me as I let thoughts have the best of me.
I did not notice that I was crying until a tear dropped on the book that was in front of me. I wiped it quickly and sniffled.
"Hey, 'sup?" Janine jumped next to me and sat down.
"Nothing much, you?"
I think she noticed the drop on the book because her faced was suddenly laced with worry.
"Look, Elle, I know that you and I aren't really friends and well, I don't really get along with your best friend and confiding in me might be the worst thing ever but if you want to talk, I'm right here. I'm a good listener, that I can promise you." She placed her hand on top of mine. I bit the inside of my cheek, wondering if I should tell her what's bothering me or not. I mean, at the end of the day, I need to talk to somebody. Bottling things up is not an option.
My eyes got glossy and I tried to blink them away. Janine was looking straight into my eyes, as though she was trying to read my soul but I tried my hardest to avoid eye contact. I faced down instead.
Judging from the fact that Janine knew so much about love, maybe she had some wise words for me about what I was going through.
"Uh, okay. So on Wednesday, I heard my parents arguing." I scoffed.
"I mean that happens all the time, it's normal in relationships." She said.
"You don't understand. Apparently my dad cheated on my mom. Then the next day when I went home, my mom had a blue eye Janine. Like what the flip is actually happening in my world. The only true love that I had ever seen was either on movies or my parents and we both know that on movies it's all an act. Now that my father cheated, I'm questioning the whole thing, is love really real? Besides that, my heart is sore Janine, my dad never... uh...came home this past weekend and I think they are going to, you know, split up. I'm terrified Janine." I could see the pity in her dark brown eyes.
"I don't know what to say, it must be horrible to go through all that."
"It really is." The tears flowed uncontrollably like a stream down my face and Janine used both her thumbs to wipe them away. I sniffled, thank goodness I had put on waterproof mascara on that day and that I did not have any foundation on. Otherwise I would look horrible.
"Elle, you should first talk to your mom about what happens next in their relationship. And in mature relationships like that, misunderstandings happen you know, it's normal."
"Of course Janine but we are talking about cheating and domestic abuse here, that is unforgivable. I would not even recognize my dad if I saw him right now. I am so disappointed in him." I said louder.
"You are right, it is. But you do know that you have to support your mom through any decision she makes. Also, I don't think that you should suddenly not believe in love because of the failed relationship between your parents, sorry for sounding insensitive or whatever. Relationships don't always work out but that does not mean that love isn't real." She told me.
"Then what does it mean? My parents have been together for eighteen years Janine, they have a fucking daughter. I do not think that my dad loves my mom anymore, look I'm confused as fuck."
"You haven't even experienced love, how is it that you want to give up on it now? That's a rash decision and well, you have to talk to your mom. Relationships go through some ups and downs and maybe this is it for your parents. I don't know."
"I don't think I want to experience love if this is the way it ends. My parents, Kylie and Tim, the only time I'm trying to figure love out or hope to feel it, every romantic relationship around me has a fallout, why's that? That's so unfair. Unless it's a sign for me not to even try. Love is dead."
"It doesn't always end that way." She was trying so hard to convince me and honestly, I did want to be convinced. I did not want to give up on love but I needed something solid to convince me.
"It doesn't mean that if two of the relationships you knew didn't work out, yours is not going to work out as well."
"And both those guys cheated, how fucked up is that?"
"Don't base your life journey on what you see on people. Life is a weird thing, what works for you might not work for me and vice versa. That's life. You have to do things your way, you have to create your own experiences instead of living your life off people's experiences. Fear is going to deprive you off a lot of things Elle.
"Some people find the love of their lives on the first try, it works out and they get married. And for some people, they fall and get hurt a few times before the right one comes along. And at this era, it's rare to find high school sweethearts getting married. I look up to the few that do, because they fought the pressure, the stigma, the fitting in fever, the temptations and all that bullshit, they fought for their love. It's so hard to find such couples these days dude but they do exist. I told you, love is beautiful but only when it's true and reciprocated. And it does exist. Look at it like this, don't you fight with Kylie sometimes?"
"I do but..."
"Then you fix it right? Why? Why do you always want to fix it even when she treats you like bullshit?" She cut me off.
"Because...well, I love her." I said and pursed my lips.
"Exactly. It might be friendship love but it's still love. Same way that your mother loves you. The love is different but it's still love. So love isn't dead Elle, it still exists and you're still going to find the love of your life and hopefully your parents work through their issues."
"But he cheated, why would he cheat if he loves my mom?" I asked, expecting her to know the answer.
"That I don't have an answer to but maybe you should talk to them? I really wish I had answers for that. I'm sorry you have to go through all that, you don't deserve it. Also, I have to go to class so see you when I see you."
"Bye and well, thanks Janine."
"Anytime." She grabbed her backpack and left the library.
I put the book on the shelf and went to my next class.
During my classes, I thought about how much sense Janine made. Love isn't dead. But I doubt my dad still loves my mom.
Kylie dropped me off at my house after school and both my parents were not home. I chose to sleep away my worries. But I must be honest, in a way, Janine's words eased my heart a little.
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YOU ARE READING
The New Boy
Teen Fiction"I'll tell you what they have in common; love. This overrated feeling that everybody desperately wants a piece of." He said it so casually, as though no matter how many arguments I would throw at him, he would still stand with his word. • "I'm not...
