Khwezikazi.
After fighting my morning sickness tooth and nail I am able to get up from the floor and i flush the toilet before I start to brush my teeth again. I hear a slight knock on the bathroom door and I open it to see who's behind it.
I find mah with a concerned look in her eyes and a slight wrinkles at the corners of her eyes clutching onto her gown.
"U right ? We could hear you all the way down the passage."
"Ngi right mah... Unga khatazeke ngami."
[Don't worry about me.]
I say to her and she releases a sigh and she holds her gown closer to her chest and I hear foot steps walk down towards us until I see Bab Nldovu approache us and this us actually the first time that I am getting to see him again after so many years and he's already grown into father Christmas with all that white hair.
"U right ? Yini ndaba ?"
He asks concerned as well.
"No ngi right baba, I think it's something I had on the way here, I appreciate the concern, but I am okay."
I tell him too and I don't see the concern that's on their faces go away instead they look at each other in more confusion.
"Are you sure, I mean if it's not too much trouble for you we can call the family docter-"
He presses and I see my aunt reach for his arm.
"Baba..."
She says as she cuts into his sentence.
"She said she's okay..."
She soflty says to him before she looks at me again and I give her a slight nod while that garage pie I had on my way here yesterday push itself up my throat in a bitter sensation but I manage to swallow it back in disgust barely keeping my facade in tact.
"I am okay Baba..."
I assure him and he gives me a slight nod before he releases a slight smile.
"It's good seeing you again, you've grown quiet a lot since the last time I saw you."
"And so you have you, you even have father Christmas look going on there."
I tell him as I point to his white hair and he gives me a slight slight smile and a small chuckle.
"All thanks to Phila, he's never stopped being a pain in my butt lomfana."
He comments and I start to giggle now and they both release tiny chuckles of their own before we all go quiet again after a small while and I stare away from them both and I stare down at my feet.
"I appreciate you both coming to check on me."
I tell them once again and they stare at each other now as little smiles on their faces grow.
"It's nothing you have to worry about..."
Aunt Thuli says as she now opens her arms to give me a hug and she squeezes me in her arms now and I close my eyes welcoming this feeling as she gently brushes my back before she backs away and she soflty palms one of my cheeks.
"We will get some breakfast on the stove maybe brew you some rooibos tea and ubaba can make you his famous scrambled eggs."
"Oh no, no eggs please mah, but uhm oats would be good."
I tell her politely and for a moment she turns shocked but she quickly follows with my request and she tells me that breakfast will be ready when I get to the kitchen and they leave.
As soon as they make it behind the corner of the passage I get back into the bathroom and I continue to hurl my organs out in a painful phenomenon.
I didn't expect for my first trimester to hurt this bad.
I found out about the baby almost a week before aunt Juli came and I had never been so devastated in my life because this baby came at the worst time. The one time where I had the opportunity to figure myself out to fix my life at a time where my life was a mess.
From my calculations I conceived the last night that Sanele and I spent together because I hadn't been on birth control for months since we had agreed to try for a baby, so me getting pregnant that night was the last thing on my mind until I saw a test strip with double lines.
To be honest it's shocked me how much this baby had been through and I broke down immediately when I found out about it and I thought about all the drinking I had been doing and the stress and me barely even having any meals because I'd been so depressed and that revelation....
There was a point where I was sitting in bed waiting for a miscarriage to happen because I'd been so broken, I was just ready for whatever pain would come that night whatever sighn that told me that what I was going through had done away with the baby but I woke up the next morning with my gut up my throat and I knew that this little fighter was still very much well and ready for battle.
