Khwezikazi.
As soon as we've made it outside of Nkanyezis room we stand at the door and we just stare at it quietly.
I look at the rest of them and my eyes land on Kabos and she looks distraught but I don't blame her, what's happening to her child is scary and it's even more scary thinking about the fact that she can't protect her from this.
"I think I need a moment to myself."
She says as she moves past us in the passage and she leaves us all just standing there and Anele follows her too after a little while and I am just left standing in the passage with Katlego and she looks at me now.
"I am sorry for what you went through with your daughter."
She says after everything, after forcing me to spill my secrets out in the open like that when I wasn't ready for my business to be known like that and now what all those women will see in me is a whore.
"Thanks for apologizing, but I can't say I am sorry for sleeping with Tlhabane."
I tell her honestly and I see her eyes soften as tears begin to pool at her lids probably at the realization that Tlhabane doesnt actually care about her anymore.
So she just nods her head and she leaves me alone in the passage still standing at Nkanyezis door.
I head to the kitchen to see if I can find some ice cream in the freezer and like I had expected there's a plethora of those in different flavors so I grab a tub of the cookies and cream and a spoon and I head back to the kitchen island and I start to indulge in my ice cream after sliding my shoes off when my feet start to feel suffocated inside of my shoes.
My only hope for this weekend was to forget about what I did to forget about all the painful things that have happened to me, I just wanted to be happy but instead this weekend has been
filled with non happiness, instead I've been brought back to the same place I tried escaping.
"Aren't you going to take a seat ? It's not good that your on your feet like this."
He says as he walks into the kitchen and he stands next to me and I stare up at him as I throw a spoon full of ice cream inside of my mouth.
"I am good, I just really love the feel of the cold floors beneath my feet, it's really good."
I tell him and he smiles at me a little and he leans on island next to me and he stares down at my belly.
"How's our little man feeling today ?"
He asks and now it's my turn to smile.
"He feels really strongly active today."
I tell him as I rub my belly and he smiles more.
"He has his lazy days where he just lazy's around and he just sleeps at times but today he's been really active, more especially since this morning."
I say and I look at him again and I see his focus on me grows a little more as my mind goes back to this morning, how that dream completely crippled me.
Seeing my dad alive and vengeful and angry scared me to death and showed me that what I've really gotten myself into is incredibly deep. I thought that getting away from this would help but it really hasn't done much for me except for when I am with him, it's like when I am with Sanele my father can't get to me he can't touch me again.
"How have you been feeling?"
He asks as he turns me around and he makes me face him and he stands infront of me ,this time placing his hands at the sides of my belly and he starts to caress me, and I let him because this is what makes me feel safe and he's the only person that I can talk to about this, as much as I've wanted to get away from him but this situation is showing me how much i need him.
"Can i be honest?"
"Yeah you can be honest..."
"I sometimes regret doing it you know, especially
Since this morning, it's all I've ever thought about."
