Kaboentle.
"I didn't mean to do it, I didn't mean to."
She mutters on the other side of the bed in deep slumber i suppose. I turn my head to make sure since I'd been wide awake since the wee hours of the morning, my body wouldn't let me, it was too awake to let me rest, so I stayed up and I watched outside at the beach as the sun rises into the clouds reminding me what exactly made me buy this house in the first place, the views, I knew I'd done peace in them.
I woke up at night to go and see if Siya was okay and I found him in one of the spare bedroom instead knocked out from pain killers on the bed with a bare chest and a clean huge bandage on his chest, the way he was so knocked out I know that he barely felt me watch him sleep for almost two hours straight, just listening to him breath, as his rhythmed heart galloped beneath my palm that I had place on his chest too, just so I could feel him again.
I always find it intriguing how he resembles Nkanyezi in some features but most of the important ones are just me. Their hair for example, siya has a small forehead and his hair has this weird texture that i never seemed to understand where he got it from which in some way I am glad he gave it to her and the small forehead too which I am great full for on her behalf. Their ears are exactly the same only a little large and odd for a girl to have her father's ears which suit him pretty well on the contrary. Our twins however took no single feature from me they look exactly like him and I can't help but feel like I still want to keep multiplying us a little bit more but I think otherwise when I think about how swollen my nose got during my third trimester of both my pregnancies.
In that moment when I watched him sleep, I forgot about everything, every single bad thing that he's ever put me through and I just thought about how happy he makes me, and how much I love him. we've come far and we've both lost a lot together but we've always come out strong from each obstacle but now look at us... almost broken beyond repair and deep down I am scared, I can't imagine my life without this man.
When I was finally satisfied with watching him sleep I tiptoed out of that room and back to my bed with my two royal married life companions and I just stared into the sun rise again.
"No, no stop... Ngiyaxolisa Baba, please I didn't mean to..."
She says as she takes labour breaths as she presses her head deeper into the pillow with her eyes still closed.
She's having a nightmare and by the look on her face it's a horrible one if she's dreaming about that man.
I get out of bed and go to her side and I try to shake her awake with Stacy still dead by her side.
"No no, no please no !! Please !!"
She shouts as I shake her more aggressively until she comes to and she opens her eyes, panicked.
"It's okay, it was only just a dream."
I tell her as I make sure to soften my voice and her eyes remain wide open as she takes labored breaths and she shakes her head.
"No it wasn't a dream Kabo I... I think my father's haunting me."
She says as she rubs her forehead and she looks straight at the ceiling with this worried look in her eyes.
"No no no he's not hauting you, this is you just grieving."
I try to reassure her but she gets up from the bed and she shakes her head again and she roughly brushes her at her now tangled weave.
"No you don't get it, ever since that day, I haven't been able to sleep Kabo he's just been coming up in my dreams, haunting me."
"What day ? What happened that day ?"
"The day I... the day he died."
She says after her slight pause as she begins to pace up and down and she lightly punches at her palm.
"Why would he haunt you ?"
I ask as she stops and she looks at me now and she has this crazy look in her eyes.
