Kaboentle.
"They paid your bride price."
Mama says as she comes into my room and she sits on my bed and she caresses my side.
"Mama, I don't want this."
I tell her and she gives me a small smile before she rubs on my body again, in gentle caresses.
"Kabo you've always known that this was bound to happen my baby, it's your duty as a princess."
"But what about what I want ? What makes me happy ?"
I ask and she smiles at me.
"One day when you have a family of your own and your happy in your marriage, you will look back at this moment and realise how beautiful this turned out for you and I want you to know that your father and I would never send you to a family that will treat you ill, and just because your getting married it doesn't mean that we're disowning you, you will always be welcome back home."
She says as she holds onto my hand as I cried some more.
At this point I didn't understand why she wasnt caring about how i felt or what I wanted, the Gumedes had already paid for my magadi and they were already leaving, in that moment I felt nothing but pain and confusion.
How could my brothers let them do this to me and do nothing.
"I told you to get some sleep."
Stacy scolds as she dabs some concealer on my under eye circles.
"I am sorry, my mind was too alive to let me sleep."
I tell her and she smiles at me a little.
"You nervous ?"
"Very."
"Are you afraid that he'd bail on you ?"
"He better not, we didn't come this far just to come this far."
I joke and the ladies all start to laugh.
"I am just nervous to see him, I mean after ten years he still makes me nervous."
"I thought after ten years you'd be a lot less nervous to see him."
"I thought so too, but with Siya none of that has changed, even after all the bad we've put each other through... he's still the same light skinned man I met on the isle on our wedding day that drove me crazy..."
I add as a small chuckle escapes my lips nd I look at the mirror again.
Even after all the bad... he's still the same person I'd lay on a bed of thorns for.
"Don't cry your going to ruin your make up."
Khwezi warns as she also fans her own eyes so she doesn't cry too and I smile.
The timer for my breast pump goes off telling me that I need to take it out and I do that from inside my gown and I place another breast pad.
I think I am good on leaks for atleast four hours, and until his nightly feed.
"You and Siya have truly inspired us you know, how the both of you navigate throughout everything, I mean you've both been through it.".
Stacy says and I look at them.
"I mean haven't we all ? None of us can sit here and say that our marriages have been a smooth sail throughout since we married into this family and I think we've all handled these challenges pretty well..."
"Yeah we have, in as draining as it was, I think if I didn't love him the way I did I wouldn't have been here still you know ?"
Khwezi responds as she looks at us all and I give her a small nod because I can fully relate to what she's saying, I think all of us in this room married to those Gumede men.
Stacy was put through the ringer by the Gumede ancestors and so have Anele and Khwezi... they fucked with her mental health nd turned her into a nut case and me ? They made me obsessed beyond repair but I wouldn't have it any other way.
"Yeah, and i think I am grateful that in the end through all of this I gained sisters in love."
Stacy says as she smiles and she dabs at the sides of her eyes and I look at myself in the mirror now.
Post partum oils soaking from my skin an onto my make up and unequal breasts because Siyas son is obsessed with my left breast, Mokhaba, sleep deprived and if you asked me if I would have still stayed after what those woman did to me the first three days before I got married I'd say yes, you'd find me here again ten years later and still willing to make that decision again.
We soon come to realise that we're already late, so we start scrambling for my dress and my veil and their dresses and shoes and setting sprays and the works, we start to run out of the challet and to the reception area where I find papa waiting for me behind the doors where everybody else would be everybody else and my husband.
Papa kisses my cheeks as soon as I lock my arm with his until I realise that something is missing.
My bouquet.
I turn around and I look to the ladies holding their own and I see Nikiwe run up to me breathless in her tailored dress with her father's thick eyes brows and her mothers dimples and she finally hands it to me.
"I had to run back to the challet aunty."
She let's me know and I smile at her because I love her so much.
"Thank you for saving me."
I tell her and she smiles at me before she goes to stand inline next to her mother and I go back to staring at the doors.
The ladies all shuffle out into the reception when the live orchestra starts to play and I hold on tightly onto papa's arm when I start to get even more anxious and he holds onto my hand and I look at him.
"You'll be okay.... don't worry."
He says and I take his word for it because I know it's true, I know I'll be okay.
When we step into the isle and I see him standing there in his white tux and our youngest in Siyandas arms everything around me fades away and i only see him.
He's staring at me with those soft and patient set of eyes and nothing but love in them and when my father hands me over to him again I don't hesitate this time, I go all in.
I hand my bouquet to Keletso on the crowd and I look at Siya again who takes my hands inside of his and he kisses them and he looks at me and he smiles this time.
"We made it."
He says and I smile at him too...
Yes we did.
The end.
