Kaboentle.
"Kabo..."
"Kabo..."
"Kabo tsoga sesi, we don't have time the sun is about to rise."
[Kabo wake up...]
She says as she gently pulls the covers away from my body as she whispers the rest of her sentence and she pulls at my arm.
"Mama ? What's happening ?"
I ask her as I whisper as well, careful not to wake up Nkanyezi who's peacefully sleeping next to me and I look to her squinting my eyes while at it because what the hell does she mean by waking me up this early, haven't I been through enough ?
"Re tshwanetse reye re ile go kopela Siya gore abwele fa lepeng sentle, tsoga nana, tsoga."
[We have to go and ask for Siya to return back home safely back to you and your kids, wake up baby, wake up.]
She says this time as she helps me get up from bed and she puts out a shawl for me and a skirt and a head wrap and she gives me time to change into the clothes and she hurries me out of the bed room, leaving Nkanyezi still fast asleep on the bed.
It's almost two o'clock in the morning when we make our way down the stairs and the house is completely quiet, everybody has gone back to sleep, it's just mama and I now and I see Keletso waiting for us down stairs with a candle and Ausi Tshego beside her.
"Come come come, our window is about to close soon."
Mama says as she nudges all of us out the door outside to the garden after grabbing a small black plastic bag and she stops at one of the big trees past the stables, the stables are very far from the house so she made us walk a pretty good distance all the way here and i am not even sure what it is that we've come to do here and quite frankly it's wracking my brain having to think about it. If she's brought me here to ask for Siyas shooter to be brought to light, I am going to cause a scene and I am going to use it as my way out, nobody is going to find out what I did, Siya did this to himself and I want him to remember what he's done to our family for as long as he lies on that bed and when he wakes up I want us to continue with our marriage like none of this ever happened like he didn't put me through hell and like I didn't almost kill him for it, but above anything I want that mistress of his to remain hidden and away from us, her and that baby of hers. I've already accepted Lubanzi and he's the one and only child of Siyas that I will welcome into this family. What will I tell my parents, how will I explain this to our kids and lest we not mention Nkanyezi and the image she has for her father, I won't ruin this for her just as he has ruined this for me, that child better not set foot here, I'll take the blame years from now if they come looking for the child's father but not now, now it can stay hidden with its mother and if Siya decides to look for them that would be my thirteenth reason, I will pack my kids and I will go back home, those Zulu children will just have to get used to our tswana ways they won't have much of a choice but I won't be phased by this.
Mama urges us to kneel beneath the tree and she takes an enamel plate and she puts Mpepho on it and she lights it up and she hands me Serokolo to chew and spit on.
"Talk Kabo, and when you've said all that you want for Siya you sprinkle it with water, so it puts out lightly."
She says as they all stare at me holding up these candles, some with sympathetic faces especially Keletso, she feels a lot of pain for me, ever since she came here she's been so quiet... I don't know her like that but I've definitely seen a lot of her ever since abuti Khumo and her got engaged but I don't know her enough but she's a definitely a very sweet woman and she has so much love for my babies and it's very heart warming to see, she checks up on me a lot and not with words and spending time but with acts of service, she brings me food and she checks if I am always in need of something especially with the twins and ausi Tshego... she's just really pregnant at the moment, the best she can do is make me laugh and cuddle in bed with me and Nkanyezi and I am really great full for that.
