Kaboentle.
"Mrs Gumede..."
"Mrs Gumede..."
I hear her repeat in the far distance and i try to get my eyes to open again.
"Mrs Gumede ...."
She says as she gently brushes up my arms and I look at her as I struggle to settle my eyes.
"Entle..."
It's Siya and he's also brushing my side and I look towards his direction now and I see him standing over me at my bed side and I start to get a little less tense and I rest by head back on the bed.
I am in pain, a lot of it.
My chest hurts, my back hurts and breathing alone is a hard effort but I do it anyways, my head is foggy and i have this dizzy feeling ontop if it all.
"Hey."
He says as he brushes at my face.
"Hy."
I respond and I look at the docter too.
"It's really good to have you back Mrs Gumede, I am docter Marshall your attending docter standing in for docter Nene..."
"It's really good to meet you docter."
I respond as best as I can to my ability.
"Like wise Mrs Gumede, how are you feeling ?"
She asks as she opens her iPad and she pulls out her pen and she gives me a small smile while she waits for me to answer.
How do i feel ?
I feel everything.
I got poisoned and I almost literally died the only thing that saved me is Lubanzi's suffocating presence after I started to lose consciousness I wouldn't be here right now, at some point I had already given up but at that same time i didn't want to traumatise Lubanzi by dying infront of him, I didn't want that being the last memory of the closest thing he had to a mother and what he going to tell Nkanyezi when he got out of that room and they went back into the real world and what kind of mother would I be to leave my kids like that in this gruesome world ? And lord Siya, what was to become of him ?
But what happened at that is something that we can't speak off, the image of Mandlas mother and Gogo Gwala wailing while they went up in flames and villagers roared is deeply ingrained in my head, the smell of burning flash and the tight hot grip she had on my hand while she burned with all her sins, she begged me to ask them to stop but it's like I was frozen on the spot as I watched them continue, they hit Mandla with a brick in the head and he went unconscious when he tried to save he, he only woke when she had been long gone, Gogo Gwala accepted her fate as soon as those people outed them, its like she knew that she'd die this way it's Mandlas mother that struggled with this the most and it haunts me because I had the chance to speak for her but I voted against that I voted for them to go ahead with the necklacing.
So how do I feel, you ask doc ?
Like a murderer, I feel like a murderer.
"My chest hurts."
I tell her and she looks at Siya who's holding onto my hand and there's this constant sound in the background that sounds like something is moving, like a train and the sound of my heart beat monitor.
Am I the only person that can hear this thing ?
"The poison attacked your respiratory system first before attacking all your organs , your experienced a case of multiple organ failure but our team was able to get you back on health, you should feel pain in your chest because that's where we focused on the most-'
"I am sorry what is that sound?"
I cut her off and she smiles at me.
"That is the sound of your baby's heart beat monitor..."
"Baby ?"
"Yes, Mrs Gumede you are seven weeks pregnant."
Heh ?
