Mama's Boy

Little Dove

*Emily*

Doves are white and pure, a symbol of peace and hope... Riley is my little dove, he was my hope when I thought I wouldn't have a little. He is my peace even when he is upset and he is so pure hearted...

My poor baby has been so little recently with so many big emotions. I think he just needs some time with just me and him. Dad takes Russo and Damon takes Leah and Charlie for the day. Riley is still asleep right now so it's so quiet, I climb back into my bed. I'm so tired and stressed recently I'm looking forward to just spending the day with my baby.

"Mama" He whines softly, I pick him up from his crib and lay with him in my bed and he looks up at me with those big blue eyes.

"Good morning little dove, did you want your mama?" I coo at him making him blush gently. He gently puts his mouth on the top of my breast covering it in slobber so I assume he is thirsty. He quietly breast feeds while I get a little bit more shut eye.

When I wake back up it's already been an hour and a half, Riley is asleep with my nipple hanging out his mouth. I gently out him down in his crib and run myself a bath, I usually survive on showers but I decided a bath for once would be nice.

I put all the bath toys away properly and add some bubble bath. I go into Riley's room and bring his baby bouncer into the bathroom so I can watch him while I bath. I put some nice candles round the room in places I'm not likely to knock them over. By the time I have lit all the candles, found a towel and put Riley in his chair my bath is basically done. I put a blanket over him and turn off the bathroom light letting it stay alit by the small amount of daylight and candles in the room. Just dark enough that Riley will stay asleep hopefully.

The water is warm and Soapy as I get in, my whole body relaxing as the water gently sloshes around mthe the bubbles clouding the water just slightly. Riley fidgets and stretches so I try to inch his chair towards me with my fingertips which proves successful. He plays with my hand, babbling and giggling quietly to himself. When I'm done with my bath I grab my towel and wrap it on myself  before picking Riley up.

I wear a pair of blue ripped jeans with a baggy grey shirt. I dress Riley in something similar so we match, after changing his diaper of course. "Chase, chase. Mama" Riley squeals when we go down stairs and Chase is laying on the sofa.

"So smart baby, chase and mama." I sit him in his play pen with paw patrol on. I make myself a granola bowl and Riley gets porridge with strawberry jam and milk in a baby bottle. I have been trying to get him onto baby bottles for when I need to go on a trip for work. I can't bring the boys with me because it's too important so dad will be watching them. If I can't breastfeed Riley and he stays this small he will get sick again or hurt himself.

When all the food is put on the table I pick him up and sit him on my lap instead of his highchair. I feed him his porridge and I eat my granola. He eats a little porridge but throws the rest on the floor sticking his tongue out at it. "ICKY" He yells as I pick up the bowl and the residue of porridge.

After cleaning most of it up I cradle him, he tries to pull my top down because he is expecting to be breastfed. I know he will just try and push the bottle away so I swaddle him  in the nearest blanket. Now that his hands are secured, I rest the nipple of the bottle on his bottom lip. He latches on but whines as he knows it's not my breast. I move him a bit closer to me so he can get a good smell of me. Riley is very big on smells and touch, if he can smell or feel me he is more relaxed.

He allows me to feed him from the bottle after weeks of failure, finally success... Until he dribbles milk on himself and cries refusing to drink anymore.

We spend all day just relaxing together. It's peaceful and relaxing, he was even a bit bigger for awhile and me and him just talked about how he was feeling...

"It's just a lot of people want to take you away and then I'll be hurt and Alone again." He is sat in my lap curled up slightly. "A-and I don't want you to forget m-me because you were my m-mommy fir-rst and it's n-not fairrrr" his sentences start to collapse into small stuttering sobs.

"Little Dove, mommy will never forget you. I love you so much and your my first baby, I'll never forget you. You know I love you always" Our foreheads touch as we sit together. His breathing steadying as we sit in pure silence. I love being Riley's mommy more than anything. He gave me everything I could have ever wanted and more. I love Riley with all my heart and it pains me to know he felt that way.

My poor little dove, I should have protected him more. But I'm glad we spent today together because when everyone else came home he was curled up in my arms, fast asleep.

"You all have to be very quiet, The baby is asleep" I say as the littles were bouncing off the walls... They get quiet until they reach Riley's playroom. Riley starts to whine because of the noise so I grab a blanket and take him out into the garden. It's dark outside but it's peaceful. I sit in the grass with Riley in my chest breathing in cold night air. Riley wrapped in a blanket cuddling into me but fast asleep.

My precious dove, I'll always protect you... Always.