It's classification day for Riley. he is finally 18 but when he gets his results things turn for the worst quickly when he has to stay with his brother until he gets assigned a Caregiver.
Emily is 20 and has been a Mommy without a little for 2 year...
I spent the day with Leah, well I didn't in a way. Leah knew today was important for me so didn't really bother me. Leah wasn't feeling little so we had a chill day between us.
We took a drive, it's a long drive from my house because I thought then when I got a little he would want to go out lots and I didn't need them to find it. It's an hour and a half long drive.
"Did you bring the box?" Leah asks. I nod quietly. When we get there I park the car at the bottom of the hill. I reach into the back of the car and take out a small box.
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It has 3 letters inside addressed to Baby Daymen. I had never thought of his name so I just call him Baby Daymen. There are stone steps, my father laid himself that go up the hill.
At the top of the hill there was a tree, large tree that was 2 years old with flowers blooming. White that had blue tips. A marble gravestone stands under the tree.
Baby Daymen
You never lived But you were loved
Is engraved in the stone. I set the box down on the floor, opening it delicately. Tearing up slightlt...
"Dear baby Daymen,
It's been a tough year. I found out who your father was and in a way I'm saddened by knowing him. He may have been your father but he would have never been your dad. This year I got some new babies of my own now.
I was always your mommy but now I have Riley and Russo. I love them as much as I would have loved you, I think of you often and I wonder still what you would have been like.
I think maybe-" I take a sharp breath in, gathering myself. "You would have been like me... A mama's boy. Just like Riley and Russo. I- I think Riley and Russo were sent to me by you sometimes. To show me what you would have been like, Riley's pure heart and Russo's attitude. But both of their love for their mommy.
I wish I could have met you, Baby Daymen... Love always, mommy" I fold the letter back up and put it in the box. I dust off some leaves and debris on the stone. I wrap my arms round the stone, crying my lungs out.
My little angel baby, he was too good for this world and though I never met him I know I loved him so much.
When I miscarried I planted this tree. Just a Sprout, now it has grown into a beautiful tree that has bloomed gorgeous flowers. I am glad that it has grown so beautifully, petals fall down gently around me.
"It's beautiful here Emily, I know he is happy" Leah says as she stands behind me. I stay knelt at the foot of the grave. I brush my fingers over the stone, picturing his face. What he would look like. He would only be 2 by now. I bet his voice is gentle and sweet.
I bet he has soft skin and my eyes, I imagine him with brown hair and a bright smile. I don't know what I would have named him but I bet it would have suited him, Baby Daymen. I stand up and reach for a branch, breaking off a small part of it with many Flowers. I place the branch on the foot of the grave.
When the boys got back home I was so happy to see them as they were to see me. Riley talks all about his day with Damon and it makes me feel happy that My boys are getting on with him.
When Riley climbs onto Damon's lap and falls asleep my heart melts at the cutest thing I have ever seen. Damon carried Riley up to bed and Russo wanted to follow.
"Mommy, do you miss your baby all the time?" Leah asks me as she was playing.
"Yes, all the time" I respond with a soft smile.
"Do you love your baby more than all of us?" Leah turns round and looks at me. I Pat the couch next to me and I own my arm out. She stands up slowly and leans into my side on the couch.
"I love all of you the same amount as my baby. Because your all my babies and I love Damon." I stroke her back gently, moving my hand down her back repeatedly. She gets comfortable and asks to watch Bluey.
"Mommy, cuddle pease" Russo says as he walks up to me in his jammies. I pull him. Onto my lap and he sits in a cradled position, leaning on my chest comfortably. Damon sits back where he was before with an arm round me.
When all the littles are fast asleep I start to get myself ready for bed, I had cleaned out Riley's room a little after Charlie used it so now Leah is using it. Riley is sleeping in his crib tonight instead of my bed.
As I go into my room and start to get dressed I noticed an envelope on my bedside table and a long rectangular like object wrapped in blue wrapping paper. I unwrap the item to reveal a large rectangular prism, resin lamp with a branch from my Tree in it.
I plug it in and the light has a blue hue to it. In the envelope it's a picture of the hill with all the petals falling everywhere. With a small note...
I asked Damon to do this for me. I told him everything, keep baby Daymen close at heart because he was your baby too.
-Leah XXX
Her handwriting is very cursive and neat. I reach into my bedside table drawer, I take an old photo I had out of its frame and replace it with the hill picture. I stand it on my bedside table, it's beautiful.
Damon walks in and kisses my head. "Goodnight" he whispers before turning to leave.
"Actually, can you... Stay please?" I ask softly, he turns round with a smile. He slides into bed, I do too, turning off the lamp and resting my head on his chest. "Goodnight" I whisper before falling into a restful slumber.
