(I drop a lot of f-bombs in this, I'm very frustrated)
I'm so fucking done.
Before you start to worry (because I know a lot of you do) I'm not done with this account, since Wattpad is basically the only thing I have going for me at the moment.
I'm sick and tired of my mom.
To those of you who can't relate to this rant, way to fucking go, your mom actually has some sort of clue as to what the fuck goes through your brain from time to time.
My mom does not get me.
Like, I'm sorry Mom, but you don't understand me in the slightest.
So she walks into my room to tell me to get ready for bed, asks me if I've gone over any of my lines at all this past weekend (which I haven't because I have no free time because if this fucking camp) and then starts spitting a sermon at me about a ton of shit.
"I'm paying lots of good money for this camp!"
No, you payed money, and this is not what I wanted for my graduation present. Why couldn't you have just given me a laptop instead? I'm fine with having one for home and one for school, I don't give a flying fuck.
"This is what you want to do with your life, and you aren't taking the opportunity!"
YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE, ALL YOU GET OUT OF ME IS TINY SNIPPETS OF CONVERSATION AND FACIAL EXPRESSIONS THAT YOU ASSUME MEAN THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT THEY ACTUALLY MEAN.
"You finally have a lead role and you aren't being a leader in the way you should be for the younger kids by not knowing your lines!"
SCREW THE YOUNGER KIDS I DID NOT CHOOSE THIS ROLE AND I WOULD MUCH RATHER BE SITTING ON MY ASS ALL DAY LONG INSTEAD OF COMING HOME AT FOUR EVERY DAY AND HAVING THE INTENSE URGE TO TAKE A NAP BECAUSE I'M NOT ALLOWED TO SLEEP IN NOW.
"You shouldn't get frustrated with anyone else at that camp, you need to be the adult!"
*clears throat* DID I SAY WHO I'M FRUSTRATED WITH? DID I SPECIFY THAT IT WAS A CHILD? NO, IT IS THE CREEPY-ASS, I-CAN'T-HANDLE-KIDS-FOR-MY-LIFE MUSIC DIRECTOR WHO I HAVE COMPLAINED ABOUT MULTIPLE TIMES TO YOU AND YOU HAVE NOT SEEMED TO NOTICE AT ALL.
STOP TRYING TO THINK THAT YOU KNOW WHAT MY THOUGHT PROCESS IS. I HAVE MOST LIKELY SAID THE WORD "FUCK" MORE THAN MY OWN NAME, AND YOU HAVE NO CLUE BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO BUSY PLANNING FOR SONE SHITTY "END OF THE SUMMER SHINDIG" OR WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO CALL IT THAT I NEVER EVEN VERBALLY CONSENTED TO. IF YOU HAVE NOT NOTICED, I HATE ABOUT 99% OF MY CLASS. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN. FUCK THEM.
look guys, I'm really sorry about this rant, I'm just frustrated out of my mind with my mother right now and I can't stress how much I just want a break. This camp isn't what I thought it would be. I didn't want to be Belle in the first place. The thought came to me, but I try to keep my hopes low when it comes to this kind of thing because I always over-estimate myself. This time I didn't, and I almost wish I had. I hate this camp, but I can't quit (I'm honestly crying as I write this). I don't have any choice but to stay.
And I fucking hate it.
-Cat
