last night my aunt who was visiting from Alaska got a call from her daughter. She went in my grandma's room and woke her up.
I heard my aunt say "He's dead. April said he's dead."
Apparently my cousin Ryan wasn't answering his phone which isn't like him. So after a few hours of waiting for a call my cousin April went over to my aunts house where he was staying.
When she walked in the house she found him laying there dead. She still tried CPR but it didn't work. He was dead.
No one knows how he died, nothing.
My aunt wanted to get to the airport as soon as possible. She changed her flight date.
She wouldn't stop blaming her herself saying it was all her fault. She kept thinking he committed suicide. They weren't on good terms before she left Alaska.
She kept saying "My son. He died knowing I was angry at him."
Then she blamed her husband for "never being in her kids lives" which obviously wasn't true. He may have not been home but that was because he had to stay in hotels when he was at work because the type of work he did was in the snow and it was really hard to get home.
My grandma told her to stop saying that because earlier she was saying she wanted her husband to go back to work so she wouldn't have to deal with him.
I've been feeling so sick thinking about it. I feel like something is going to happen to me for some reason.
I couldn't sleep at all after it all. I kept sweating and I didn't want to sleep in my room. I'm scared of sleeping in my room now for some reason. I feel like it's not safe if I'm alone.
Every time my cousin April walks into her mom's house, she's gonna remember finding Ryan laying there. Or even when she thinks about him.
This was never supposed to happen. They were supposed to fly home today and see their son again since he lived in Seattle Washington. He was supposed to spend the holidays with them.
I refuse to believe that he passed away. I'm trying to tell myself that he is still in Washington.
Now I may have to go to Alaska again for his funeral.
He was only 33 years old!
I'm seriously going to make myself cry by talking about this.
RIP Ryan. We miss you already. I know I really never met you but words can't even explain how much I love you ❤️ -Ashley.
