So this K girl is still being a bitch.
So she comes up to me and A while we're sitting in the cafeteria before school starts, minding our own business and doing whatever and she starts talking to us.
"So I found out my friend is a lesbian and she has a crush on me and now I'm not talking to her anymore."
UMMMM????
*coughs awkwardly*
Dude, I've been questioning my sexuality a lot lately. Obviously that's a thing that a lot of people do, but I'm just confused at this point. We had a mixer (kind of like a dance but with no chairs or food or drinks or anything and just three hours of people grinding on each other) last Saturday at my school and I was SO UNCOMFORTABLE THE ENTIRE TIME
like, I didn't socialize with any new people (that's the point of a mixer, since I go to an all girls school we invite guys from other schools to this thing) and I feel like that's a problem. I don't know how I feel about guys anymore, like I still find some of them attractive (*cough* 5SOS *cough*) but most of the time I'm just awkward and I don't want to talk to them at all unless I've previously known them from somewhere. I'm still feeling really lonely in some of my classes, too, which might just have to do with the girls in the classes, but I don't really know how I feel about anything anymore.
I literally got called down to the guidance office today to talk about my feelings because I sent an email to my music teacher about it (still need to rant about that, save that for later) and I practically started crying.
I'm just so confused about everything lately, I hate it and I just want to be certain about stuff and know my sexuality (I know the concept can be fluid, don't nag me) and be brace enough to come out to people about it and just finally be okay.
And I want to be able to confront K about the shit she's been spitting about everything but that's not happening anytime soon.
*sigh*
I'm going to sleep. I'll listen to Money in the morning (aka the new 5SOS track that doesn't come out for another hour but I have school so sleepy time for me).
-Cat
