Time for "Why did Cat have a mental breakdown this time?"!
This past weekend was kind of crappy (I know it's Wednesday but Monday was Columbus Day and I had PSATs today so I had a noon dismissal so I feel like it's still the weekend) and I'm still sick after crying for about an hour and a half Friday night while my mom attempted to comfort me.
Obviously that worked.
Now, why exactly was I crying my eyes out for so long? Well, let's see...
*picks up a dart and points it at dart board covered in limited number of reasons for me to have mental breakdowns*
*throws dart*
WEST SIDE STORY :D
As you know, my role got changed around a couple weeks ago so I'm now a full-time Jet.
Unfortunately, this does NOT mean I'll be doing a ton more.
If anything, I'm doing less that I was in ensemble.
Basically, during the first scene, I run in while the Sharks and Jets are fighting to see if Baby John is okay (the kid who plays him is a sophomore and about half a head shorter than I am), then I run out the second a whistle is blown. I don't get to dance in When You're A Jet (even though I know it) and I don't dance in Cool (tbh probably a good thing) and during the Dance at the Gym I stand at the corner of the stage with the other female Jet gang members and act moody and shit.
And then I take care of Baby John again during the Rumble (in other words, we cower in the corner instead of pretending to beat someone up). I also get to dance in Officer Krupke, which makes me happy because it's my favorite song in the play, and that's basically everything I do.
It seems like a lot but I was cut out if two dances and I'm not in a couple scenes that all the other Jets are in for basically no reason and it pisses me off.
The impact of all of this sort of hit me on Friday night and I just couldn't stop crying for some reason and I was really upset about everything that had happened that day (I've ranted enough about being a worrier, let's just say it had to do with that and some friends and some unnecessary yelling on my part) and everything sort of came crashing down on me. It sucked and I honestly had some dark thoughts once my mom left my room, but I PROMISE I DID NOTHING
Just cried so much that I've been sick for five days and I'm potentially losing my voice which is not good because West Side Story is in like three weeks and I don't want to lose any time to practice with my voice if I can avoid it.
So yeah.
Also I'm going to visit a guidance counselor tomorrow during my study hall to basically rant to her about everything that I hate about my school so far because- to anyone who isn't in high school yet- FRESHMAN TRANSITIONING SUCKS ASS
I'm so bad at coping withe all of this and tbh I'm going to FaceTime my brother who's at college soon so I can rant to him too and so he can tell me his problems.
That should be fun.
-Cat
