I feel like I haven't been on here in awhile.
I feel so shitty. I know that I need to base myself around other friends and I'm proud to at least say that I've actually been trying.
Remember that friend that I don't like, I'm still "friends" with her. I have tried countless times to be nice to her. I can't do it anymore she's annoying and childish. But I have tried to push aside those feelings but they just keep coming back.
I'm seriously hoping that in 9th grade, she'll realize and leave me alone. I think she's starting to notice it now because yesterday at lunch, she asked me if she was bothering me.
Her mom asked me what was wrong yesterday when I said I didn't want to eat. I wasn't gonna tell her "OH MY GOD YOUR DAUGHTER IS SO ANNOYING!" All I said was that I had a headache which I truly did.
Let's call my friend T. T is failing math because she got a bad grade on her math test. She's really usually good at math. I'm scared that T's mom is going to blame it on me. T likes to go upstairs and watch YouTube instead of do her homework. Otherwise she's on her iPad. I'm afraid that T's mom thinks that I'm the one basically saying "let's not do our homework." But the thing is, T isn't willing to go to our math teacher's classroom. She believes that talking to friends is more important. T's mom doesn't know that she even got that grade. What if she finds out and blames it on me?
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My mom believes that when T gets older, she is going to party and get drunk because her parents never allowed her to do anything. Which I believe as well. My school is going to a minor league baseball game. I'm not going because I rather go to school and finish my homework so that I don't fall behind. But T is going and I know that she is only going because she wants to get away from school. I'm surprised her parents are letting her go because they don't let her do anything.
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One day T told me that she hated people who's parents let them do anything they want like stay home from school even if they aren't sick.
My mom is one of those parents that would let me stay home as long as I get my work done. But I don't ever stay home. If I got a C on my math test, she'd be fine with it. My mom is kind of laid back. But when I have chores (which is usually everyday) they need to be done. I also have to wash my own clothes but I like to think that my mom is just prepping me for when I live on my own.
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I realize that this is just weird little stories about what's been happening and I have so many more. I don't know what to do anymore,I literally can't wait for school to end.
-ash
