His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 42

Luke

I didn't know what came over me when I kissed Hewitt, it wasn't part of our hook up thing, I never planned to kiss him, or anyone so soon for that matter.
I acted on impulse, hearing him tell me that he wanted to kiss me, it made something inside me to stir, I just wanted to do what he wanted at that point, and his lips was calling out to me, I just gave in.

And now we were both laying in his living room, completely naked, I on the couch and Hewitt on the floor, he hasn't said anything to me yet and I didn't know if I should say anything to him, not after what just happened.

I fucking kissed him, and that was my first kiss, I know it sounds lame but that's the truth, before Hewitt I've never kissed anyone before, not any of my hookups, it's a thing of choice.

When I came here, I just wanted to talk to him, but then he was staring at me in that weird way, and looking at me like.... I can't explain how I felt when he was looking at me like that, I felt bare in front of him, like he could see my soul and tell what I was thinking.

It was as if we had this communication that we didn't need to talk to each other to know what the other was thinking, and it was fucking weird, there's only one person I've ever had that with, and I ended.... I sighed out heavily and shut my eyes.

And then when he touched me, Hewitt has never gone gentle on me, when he fucks me, he does it like he hates me, but today, he did it differently, he was touching me like I was some fragile thing that he didn't want to break.
The eye contact, the way he kept kissing me, the way he touched me, the gentle look in his eyes, it made me realize something scary, something I don't want to think about.

I don't hate Hewitt, that much I'm sure of, but I realized something  today when we had sex, for the first time I realized I may like Hewitt more than I think, and more than I like to admit.
That's why I defended him today, that was why I got sexually attracted to him after that thing happened between us, that's why I never saw what he did as something wrong, and that was why I couldn't get my mind off him when we left the dock, that was why I came here just to make him feel better.

Shit, I like him.
I fucking like Hewitt and it's scary, because I know he still hates me, he still hates my guts, regardless of what happened between us a few minutes ago, I know it doesn't mean anything to him, but to me, it's not just a hook up anymore, I'm not just sexually attracted to him, I'm physically and I think emotionally attracted to him.

I sighed out when I realized what I was actually thinking about
"You good"? I heard him ask beside me, I cleared my throat and looked at him briefly

"Yeah, I'm uh.... I'm okay" I muttered out, this is why I never kissed anyone in all my years of hook up and having random sex, because I know the kind of heart I have, as bad ass as I look, I'm an emotional wreck, it doesn't take much to get me to like someone, and for Hewitt, that kiss made me realize it.

"Why'd you kiss me"? He blurted out, causing me to bite my lips and look at him briefly before I was back to looking at the ceiling "you said you don't kiss people you hook up with..." I cut him off, remembering that I told him that one time after we hooked up and he asked why I never let him kiss me

"I don't" I muttered and he raised his head up and looked at me, cocking his brows up

"So why'd you kiss me? What changed"? He asked and I just shrugged

"I guess I figured you're not so bad, and I was curious" I lied through my teeth, he frowned and cocked his brows

"Curious? Curious about what"? He asked and I bit my lips and looked at him, narrowing my eyes at him.