His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 43

Hewitt

I know I said I would talk to Stefano and get him to forgive me and trust me again, but what I did not expect was for Luke to practically drag my ass out here to Stefano's apartment and tell us to make up, else neither of us would leave, typical Luke.

I still can't wrap my head around why he wants me and Stefano to make up, I mean not that it's a bad thing, but all I've ever done since I met him, was make life miserable for him, so why is he helping me.
I know he gave me a reason but I don't think that's reason enough for Luke to help someone like me, not after everything I've done.

I hated the guy, and until a few days ago that he started being obnoxiously nice to me, I didn't think I would ever stop hating him, and if you ask me why I hated him, I'd tell you it's because of what he did to Stefano, but he has apologized and Stefano has forgiven him, and the thing is I have never heard his side of story, I always felt it wasn't needed because to me he deserved every fucked up thing I did and said to him, but now he's standing up for me, and I can't understand why.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I suddenly like him, but now I have this nagging feeling in my chest whenever we're together, I don't know if it's guilt, or regret or just ..... I sighed out when I shook my head and looked at the person in front of me, I'll think about Luke later and why he's being nice to me, for now, I think I should focus on Stefano and what I will say to him .

He's been looking around the room, not wanting to meet my eyes, I know he's still mad at me, I can feel the tensioner oozing off the room, it was just us two, Luke made sure to drag Matteo with him, even though I know those two together will not end well.

"Stef" I started and he just scoffed and looked away from me, I don't know where to begin, because I can't even start to explain why I did what I did, I mean I thought I knew why, but after Stefano made me see how wrong it was, I can't seem to unsee it in my head.
"I know what I did was wrong..." I started but he just turned his glare towards me, his eyes going extra dark.

"Then why the fuck did you do it Hewitt, why would you do something like that when you know how it makes me feel"? He asked, I clenched my jaw and swallowed hard, I didn't know what to say to him
He took a step closer to me "you raped him you know that"? He asked and I just gasped out lowly and breathed in hard, of course I know I did, but in that moment, that night, it didn't feel like it, I didn't feel like what I was doing was wrong, because he never told me it was, he never showed any sign that he didn't want it.

"I didn't....." He cut me off

"You didn't know? Hewitt tell me you didn't know that you raped him, tell me that that night when you.... Fuck Hewitt, you disappointed me greatly" he whispered out, causing me to bite my lips as I stared at him

How am I going to tell him that I did it because of him, I was doing what I thought was right, I was standing up for him, protecting him, I didn't mean to .... I sighed out heavily
Was this how Luke felt like when he told Stefano's father about Stefano's sexuality?
Was this how he felt like when we all kept blaming him for what he did, because he kept saying he did it to protect Stefano, but we never believed him.

"I know he says it okay, but I feel like I can't even look at you again, I least expected something like that from you, you know what my father did to me, guilty or not, Luke didn't deserve that, nobody deserves that" he whispered out, causing my eye lids to sting, I could feel the disappoinment oozing off him, I could hear it in his voice, and Stefano has never sounded like that before with me, this is the first time, and it's killing me

How the hell did Luke live without him and with all that guilt for 16 fucking years, it's only been a few days and I can't even think straight, I'm losing my mind, and that's saying something for the fact that I can still see Stefano and set things straight, for Luke it was different, he didn't get a chance to explain himself like I am right now.