His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 55

Luke

Somebody should have warned me not to tell Hewitt about how I feel, somebody should have told me that it'll blow up in my face and have me feeling like complete shit, because I can't even explain how I feel right now, my head's aching, I feel sick to my stomach, my heart feels like someone took a sledgehammer to it.

I've been holed up in my hotel room for the past 24 hours, Hewitt hasn't called me, and even if he does, I don't think I'll have the stomach to pick it up, I completely embarrassed myself in front of him, he probably thinks I'm an idiot, I mean what was I expecting, that he'd suddenly go back on the no strings attached and tell me he loves me too, that's never going to happen, and I should have known and just kept my feelings to myself, he didn't need to know

Now he knows that I'm in love with him, and everything is fucked up, I don't even think we'll ever go back to hooking up, that's definitely out of the picture, even if he offers, I don't think I have the balls to face him or let him touch me after what went down in that restaurant

I'm not blaming anyone but myself, I let myself fall in love with him, I gave him that power over me, even though time and time again he kept letting me know that I'll never be anything more than a hook up to him, I let my feelings and emotions get the better of me, now I'm the only one stuck in this whirlwind of uncertainty and embarrassment.

I haven't spoken to Stefano, or anyone for that matter, I haven't even left the house since yesterday for fear of running into Hewitt, even if eventually we do go back to hooking up, I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon, and it's going to take a while to get used to it.

Stefano has been blowing up my phone back to back since yesterday, but I haven't had the strength to pick his call, one because i don't even know what I'll say to him, and I know he's going to ask me about how it went with Hewitt, truthfully I don't want to relive it, I don't want to have to retell what happened yesterday.

I looked to the side of the floor where I was sprawled out on and I saw my phone screen lit up again, I know it's Stefano calling again, I just sighed out and looked away from the phone, I just want to be alone, with my thoughts, even though they're killing me at this point.

I know I wasn't exactly sure Hewitt would like me back, but I had this tiny flicker of hope, that maybe he might be open to the idea of me liking him, but I was fucking wrong, hearing him blow up on my like that yesterday, I felt sick to my stomach, I've never done something like that, confess to liking someone, actually asides Stefano, I don't think I've ever liked anyone, well anyone before Hewitt.

His just happened, it took me off guard, one minute he hated me and we were at each other's throats, the next we were having mind blowing sex and everything just happened so fast, I didn't have time to think, I just woke up and realized I had fallen in love with him, I mean I liked him first, but as time went on and he started becoming this nice person to me, he stopped hating me, we started seeing each other more often, most times we would meet up to have sex, but end up just cuddling in silence or making out until we both got tired and fell asleep, we got used to each other that being together without having sex didn't feel weird

Things like that made me think that he at least cared about me, thing is, I don't need him to like me back, but at least to show an ounce of care, as much as I did.
I sighed out again, I think I heard shuffling in front of my door, but I didn't pay it much attention, not until I heard a low knock, causing me to frown and look at the door, I wasn't expecting anyone, and I'm sure it's not Hewitt, after what happened at the restaurant, I don't think he'll want to see me anytime soon.

I sighed out, not having the strength to get up and check who was at the door, hopefully they get tired of standing there and leave, but instead, I heard the knock again, this time louder than before, I wanted to yell at the person to get the fuck away from my door, but I think they beat me to it when I heard the voice on the other side