His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 18

Luke

I rested my back on the wall and slid down slowly, Hewitt had just left here after... I let out a shaky breath, there was a sharp pain in my lower back but that was nothing compared to the unimaginable pain in my heart.

I felt like someone had just stabbed me in my chest and it was blocking my airways, I couldn't breathe
And I wasn't feeling this way because of what just happened between Hewitt and I, which was still very weird, but it was because of what he told me and the pain I saw in his eyes.

Stefano was in the hospital and he was fighting for his life, after everything he's been through, after everything I put him through.
I croaked out in pain when I tried to move, but the pain in my lower back was too much, making my mind go back to the night this happened to him.

Was this how he felt?
Was this the way he felt that night? Mine is different, I'm older and I can take the pain but Stefano, he was so young and there were four of them, and they all.... I swallowed hard and whimpered feeling the tears filling my eyes to the brim

I used to always think I knew how he felt, I understood his pain but I was fucking wrong, if what I'm feeling right now, is exactly how he felt, then fuck.... I did do him wrong
And to think he was alone, and then finding out that I was the cause of it.

I clutched to my chest as I felt the constricting stabbing pain.
No wonder he hates me so much, this is nothing compared to what I thought I knew about his pain.
This is much worse, and this is me speaking as an adult with experience on pain.

My shirt was already soaked with my own tears, but they weren't for me, they were for him, I was finally feeling his pain
Even though I asked Hewitt to make me feel his pain, to make me understand it, it still didn't make it less violating, my mind knows I deserve this, but my body was telling me otherwise.

I started to crawl towards the couch because I could barely walk properly, he didn't prep me, he just shoved inside of me, and he was my first, I've never bottomed before, I could feel the stickiness of the my blood and his cum on my thighs, and I wasn't disgusted, actually, how I'm feeling right now is the least of my problems.

All that is going through my mind right now, was the fact that Stefano's in the hospital, Winston shot him, after everything he's been through, he's now on the verge of fighting for his life, after every pain he had to survive, he couldn't just get a break from life, he's still out there, fighting to live.

I swallowed hard when I pulled my phone from the couch, my hands were shaking but I managed to dial Alicia's number, who surprisingly picked after the first ring "hey there big bro" she said cheerfully over the phone, I swallowed hard and pushed back the tears but I couldn't.
I can't do this

"I didn't know...." I croaked out "I...." I couldn't complete my words because she interrupted

"Luke, what's going on? Are you okay"? She rushed out worriedly

"I didn't know how much pain I put him through" I whimpered out, he was alone, he left and had to deal with it alone "I caused him a lot of pain Alicia" I sobbed out

"Luke, calm down, what's going on? Where are you"? She asked scared

"Alicia I ruined his life, I betrayed him and he had to suffer for it and now,... Now he's... He's... He's in hospital because of me" I croaked out, stumbling over my words, I didn't want to believe what Hewitt was saying, but the pain in his eyes said it all, and after he had left here earlier today, I still went to the location I had shown him, where I said Winston would be at, Winston was dead, shot twice in the head

"Who's in the hospital"? She asked, I just sobbed out and laid on the floor "Luke, talk to me, what happened? Who is in the hospital"?

"He shot him, Alicia, Winston shot Stefano" I croaked out in pain an agony before I pulled the phone from my ear, hitting the end buttons, I couldn't do it.