His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 53

Luke

With everything I could muster up, even though I know I'm probably going to regret this, I pushed his chest, causing him to break away from leaving a hickey on my neck, he looked up at me, I was trying to control my fast breathing, while staring into his hooded eyes, he cocked his brows at me
"What's wrong"? He asked softly, I swallowed hard, knowing his concerns were only because of the sex, and nothing more, he doesn't care about me.

"I.... Uh..." I didn't know what to say, I mean I want us to stop hooking up, but that's going to be a big change for me, will I be able to handle it, because unlike Hewitt, to me this isn't just sex anymore, it's becoming something more, and stopping it just like that..

"Luke" he muttered, pulling his hand from my bare chest, and wrapping them around my neck, he looked at me softly and I felt my heart beat pick up, causing me to swallow hard, and let my hands rest on his hip "what's going on? Did I do something wrong"? He asked softly, he should stop being so soft and gentle with me, it's making this fucking hard for me, how can I not fall in love with that?

I sighed out and shook my head, it's not him, as funny as it sounds it's me, because he made it clear from the onset, for this to just be about sex, but stupid, stupid me, I let myself fall for him, and now I can't stop it, I can't be away from him, but I know we can never be what I want.
"Then why are you stopping me? You don't want this"? He asked, and I don't know if it was the feelings I had for him, but I felt like If I told him I didn't want this, it'll hurt him more than it'll hurt me, of course I know he doesn't feel the same way for me, but cutting off someone after hooking up with them for weeks on end like that, it's shitty.

I couldn't bring myself to tell him that I infact wanted this to stop, I can't.
I swallowed hard and leaned in before taking his lips in a sweet, soft and sensuality kiss, letting my teeth graze his lower lips, pulling it in between my teeth and my mouth, he groaned and bucked his hips slightly, I moaned before I painstakingly pulled away and looked down at him, he bit his red and slightly swollen lips
"I just .... I'm not really..... I need some time to clear my head, I want this, I do, but I need some time to myself, a few minutes" I whispered out, lying through my teeth and through the feelings I was harboring for him.

He didn't seem like he didn't believe me, he just nodded slowly, I thought he would get mad that I turned him down for sex, but instead he just smiled softly, showing off his perfect set of teeth, before he leaned in, pulling my head down, he pecked my lightly before he pulled away again
"I understand, I'll just head back and wait for you okay" he whispered and I nodded, feeling my heart swell, what the hell is wrong with me? "just don't stay out here too long" he muttered out, sounding way different than the douchebag I had met months ago when I just came to New York.

He shouldn't be so nice to me, I want him to go back to hating me, that way I'd have more than one reasons to not like him, but now he's different, even though I know he doesn't like me, he's not a dick to me anymore, he gives me the best sex I've ever had, and he's so gentle and kind to me that it makes my heart beat fast.

He slowly pulled away and started making his way back towards the beach, I sighed out and threw my head back on the tree, feeling my heart beat and my throat fill with this lump, I wanted to scream so bad at the universe, i really have a shitty luck, I couldn't fall in love with anyone, literally anyone in all of New York, it had to be the one person i had less than 20% chance with.

"Wow, you look like shit" I heard Stefano's voice, causing me to open my eyes and looked at him, he had his brows quirped up as he made his way towards me, I sighed out heavily
"That bad"? He asked and I just nodded, because I didn't have any words for how I was feeling right now, of course I have it bad for Hewitt, I mean at first I thought I liked him, then I realized I had feelings for him, but now I'm beginning to think I'm in love with him.