His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 64

Luke

She didn't look surprised to see me in the office, I'm guessing my secretary already told her that I was in, I watched as she made her way towards the seat in front of my desk, without saying a word she perched down on it, she was putting on a grey blazer and grey pants, with a peach colored top inside.

"I thought you would at least stay home for a week to rest"? She asked and I just sighed out, without reacting to what she just said, I didn't think I could stay home alone any second longer, I'd lose my mind.

"There's a lot of work here to be done, and plus I don't see the point in staying home and letting you work extra" I muttered out and she just nodded, agreeing to what I just said, which is so unlike Alicia, she never agrees with me, especially when it involves me running away from my problems.

There was a moment of silence between us, neither of us talking, my eye was moving around the whole office, and I could feel Alicia's gaze on me, I didn't know what to say, it felt like when Stefano just left all over again, I felt like my problems was putting a rift between my relationship with Alicia, and I hate when that happens.

Right now I felt like I needed to apologize, but for what?
For feeling? For being tired? For snapping at her?
Okay maybe that last one's a valid reason, I sighed out and looked at her again, and she was still staring at me
"About yesterday..." She started playing with her nails "I didn't mean to overwhelm you with so many questions and my prying attitude, it's just ...." She paused and leaned closer to the table, I felt her hand on top of mine, they were warm and somewhat reassuring "I care about you Luke, a lot, and I don't want to see you dive into this.... This pit of depression, I've seen it before and I know how much it tore you apart, and I don't want it to happen again " she whispered, I felt my heart swell at the same time my chest filled with guilt and sadness, it's not her fault that I have such bad luck with love, why am I chosing to punish her for it?

Of course I know she cares about me, that's why she's asking questions, that's why she's trying to make me feel less shitty about what's going on in my life, and the best I can do is snap at her, push her care right back at her and make her feel bad for even caring about me in the first place?
I clenched my jaw and swallowed hard
"I won't push you to talk about it, about him, I believe you will do that when you're ready, I just worry about you a lot" she muttered out finally.

I blinked once, then twice before I bit my inner cheeks and sighed out heavily "I'm sorry I snapped at you like that, I didn't mean to, I just ... Everything is just too much for me" I whispered sighing out heavily, I looked away from her and I felt her squeeze my hand gently, causing me to look at her, she gave a soft reassuring smile, that made my chest tightened and feel lighter at the same time
"I left New York because I couldn't deal with it, I couldn't deal with all of it, me trying to fit into Stefano's life, my feelings for Hewitt.... Everything, I just wanted to get away, so when you started asking questions about him yesterday, I kind of felt like I was back there again, and everything would remind me of him" I explained to her, she listened attentively and for once I was grateful, Alicia wasn't being her typical self, because I don't think I could handle any more of her prodding

"I get it Luke, I know I can be extra sometimes, but it's all because I care about you" she whispered out, and I forced out a tight lipped smile, letting her know that I know she cares about me, I know they all do, that's why they're prodding, if they didn't they wouldn't give a rats ass if Hewitt broke my heart or my nose

"I know Alicia, and trust me I love you like that, I just kind of.... I get overwhelmed sometimes, but I'll try to be less of a dick from now on, it's not your fault I keep falling for the wrong people, it's not fair of me that I keep putting my anger and frustration out on you" I muttered out and she chuckled lightly and leaned away from the table