His Redemption (MxM)

Chapter 3

Luke

I wanted to just tell her that I didn't want to talk about it, but that would be rude, and she's just trying to be nice.
I signalled the bartender for another refill and I saw the way she looked at me, as if I had grown two heads.
"Haven't you had enough"? She asked and I just shook my head and chuckled lightly.

"if I'm going to tell you about why I look like this" I said gesturing to my face and look "then trust me, I'm going to need as much drink as I can get in my system" I explained to her, and it's true, what I'm about to tell her, I'm going to need a lot of drinking for.

The bartender filled my glass up and I gave him a nod of appreciation before I turned to face her, there's a lot to say, and to be honest I don't even know where to begin.
"Where do I start"? I asked rhetorically, because I wasn't expecting her to have an answer for it.

"The beginning is always the best, don't worry I have all night" she said before pulling her whole bottle of whiskey close to her and taking a drink from it.

I didn't know why I suddenly wanted to tell her why I was mopping around, but I kind of felt like I needed it, I haven't really extensively talked about it with anyone, Alicia knows a bit but that's just it, she hasn't heard it from me directly.

"I used to have a best friend" I started looking away from her as I drowned out the rest of the noise from the club, focusing only on my own thoughts "we were so close, people usually mistook us for brothers, I cared about him a lot, much more than I realized" I paused and looked at her, she had her attention on me, completely
"But I screwed it up... I ruined it because I couldn't keep my mouth shut, he trusted me and I broke his trust, I couldn't keep one secret, just one fucking secret and I spilled it"

"Okay.... You made a mistake, who doesn't"? She asked and I smiled and shook my head, she doesn't understand

"It wasn't a mistake, and it wasn't just any mistake, it ruined a lot of things for him and me" I explained

"Let me guess, he blames you for it"? She asked with a bored tone and I clenched my jaw and shook my head, my eyes moving back to my glass of whiskey

"No, he didn't need to, I know it was all my fault, if I had kept my mouth shut, then maybe, just maybe....." I paused not wanting to remember that I was part of the reasons why he left.

"So he left"? She asked and I paused and my eyes met with hers, she just shrugged

"How'd you know he left"? I asked and she shrugged again

"You have this look in your eyes, and it's not a look that says you see him everyday and you can fix it" she explained with a straight face.
We both went silent after, with her casting small glances at me while playing with her drink, and me just examining the glass in front of me.

I don't really like talking about what happened, it's not exactly a good memory for me, it's one of the worst, but I can't forget about it either, not without forgetting about Stefano completely.
"You like him don't you"? She asked and I just looked at her, unable to say anything, I felt my heart beat spike up.
"Does he know"? She asked and I clenched my jaw and shook my head
"So.... Let me get this right, you have feelings for your best friend, who blames you for whatever happened between you guys and then left, and he doesn't know that you have feelings for him"? She asked and I just looked at her, she was giving me a pointed look and I just nodded and sighed out heavily
"Damn, you really did need that drink" she muttered out going back to drinking her whiskey

The both of us just sat there in a comfortable silence, mind you there was still loud music playing in the Background, how we managed to drown that out, I don't know how.
I played with the rim of my glass, my mind going back to Winston and his visit to my office today.
"Have you talked to him yet"? She asked causing me to look at her, she was already looking at me