You Again, Professor [GL• #2]

Chapter 27

"Hey, kanina ka pa 'ata tahimik riyan?" lumapit si Luke at umupo sa tabi ko. "Ano na naman ang iniisip mo?" he added, a curiosity driven in his face.

Umiling nalang ako sa kaniya. "Uhm,"

"Ano nga?!'

"Wala!" umirap ako sa kaniya.

Nakasandal ako sa isang puno habang tinatanaw ang mga club members na kumaka-usap habang nag-aabot ng mga gamit sa mga indigenous people. Nung kanina ay makarating kami ay konting paliwanag lang sa kanila bago kami namigay ng mga necessary supplies.

"Nakakapanibago ang tahimik mo pre!" umiling si Luke.

"Lumakad ka na ro'n! Baka kailangan ka pa nila,"

"Tapos na talaga ang gawain ko, 'tsaka bawal ba magpahinga? Ikaw lang may karapatan?" naniningkit ang mga mata nito sa akin.

"Ewan ko sa'yo!" itinulak ko siya palayo, halos matumba na siya sa damuhan.

"Ang sama ng ugali mo, para nakiki-upo laang ako!"

Umalis na rin ito sa tabi ko at humakbang patungo kay Nicole dahil nakatingin ito sa amin. Muli kong ibinalik ang tingin sa gawi nila ma'am Lopez. I caught her looking at me, pero agad din naman itong nag-iwas ng tingin.

Nasasaktan pa rin ako sa narinig mula sa kaniya kanina, I'm not stupid para hindi marealize kung ano ang ibig sabihin nun. She already has someone else in her heart, at naiintindihan ko iyon, pero masakit lang din.

I know I shouldn’t have fallen for her—she’s my professor, at isang hamak na estudyante niya lang ako. She’s older, wiser, and already a professional who  built a better life for herself. She already accomplished so many things, while here I am, still struggling to understand even the basics of her lessons, especially in math. It feels frustrating, knowing I can’t even keep up with something so simple, I'm not even close or match where she is in life.

The gap between us feels overwhelming—she’s someone who knows her way around the world, and I feel like I’m just starting to figure things out. Pakiramdam ko ang tingin niya sa akin ay isang hamak na bata lang, and still clueless about everything around her.

What makes it even harder is the fact that she probably doesn’t see me the same way. In her eyes, I’m likely just another student, too young and too far from what she could ever want. It stings to think that, but it’s a truth I can’t ignore.  Wala akong pag-asa sa kaniya, she's too high at samantalang ako? I'm just nothing.

That thought hurts—it hurts deeply—because no one has ever made me feel the way she does. It’s confusing, overwhelming, and unlike anything I’ve experienced before. I get lost in my own thoughts whenever I’m around her, not knowing how to act or what to say. I’m scared she can see right through me, knowing exactly how I feel, and that only makes things more awkward between us. 

I don’t want our connection—whatever it is—to become complicated or weird. But no matter how much I try to avoid it, it feels like it’s already happening. The air between us is heavier now, filled with things unsaid, and I can’t help but feel I’m making everything worse just by liking her.  Dahil lang ginusto ko siya, pakiramdam ko nagkaroon ako ng kasalanan na hindi ko naman sinasadya.

I’m struggling with this situation more than I thought I would. Sometimes, I wish I had never felt this way toward her. It would’ve been easier if my heart had chosen someone else, someone closer to me in age, experience, and place in life. But it didn’t, and now I’m stuck here, caught in these feelings that I don’t know how to handle.

Matapos ang halos buong umaga sa pagmimigay ng mga gamit, some club leaders including Nicole and Paraquel gave a short program, and nagpalaro rin sila sa mga IP community pagkatapos nung pagmimigay nila.