The Savior

37. Pretend and Panic

Victoria stood on the platform waiting with her boyfriends for their friends. She felt numb as Dumbledore's words played in her mind. They can't know you suspect them. It's business as usual. Shortly after the dream and the bloody prophecy her father took his words literally. He jampacked her schedule with performances after her first album dropped. Before it had been random singles now it was a whole record dedicated to her songs. She performed multiple concerts in the following weeks leading up to her departure for school and that is exactly why the platform was more crowded than usual. Photographers not only from the daily prophet but from smaller papers and gossip columns were all here to see her. 

Her father and soulmates surrounded her as she looked dead at the red train calling for her. Having dealt with enough of the flashing lights of cameras she tapped her dads shoulder beckoning him down so she could speak to him. 

"I'm just going to get on the train. I'll see May and the others when we arrive." She spoke in a low whisper. He nodded before turning around to give her a big hug. As he wrapped his arms around his little girl something about this goodbye felt much more permanent compared to every other time, he had sent her off to school. This one felt like it'd be the last as he squeezed her a little tighter placing a kiss on the top of her head. 

"Be good, stay safe, study hard. I love you" He whispered. She nodded and said it back before pulling away and turning to get on the train. The boys followed closely behind keeping others away from her before they could completely board the train though Victor stopped Remus. "Keep her safe please." Victor said in a shaky voice his eyes watering slightly. He didn't even know why he was so emotional about this. He had done this for five years it was normal to send her off. This time he was scared though. 

*_*_*_*

Victoria slept most of the ride to the school. When she wasn't sleeping, she was staring out the window as the boys around her chatted. She was leaning against Sirius who was dragging his fingertips up and down her arm. He was trying to comfort her but honestly since they had become official Sirius had practically glued himself to her.

Sirius felt like he had missed out on so much time with her compared to James and Remus. James and she weren't together, but they had been hanging out since the beginning of 5th year. Remus and she got together shortly after Christmas but before that they were childhood friends. It was his own fault trying to push her away and deny it, but it didn't change the fact that he felt he needed to make up for it. 

It didn't help that Victoria didn't feel 100% comfortable yet in their relationships. She had some major insecurities rooted in their previous frenemy relationship that persisted till after she had already started dating the other two. She was completely vulnerable with James and Remus but Sirius. She was still guarded around Sirius. As a friend she didn't have to be vulnerable. She could just chill, and they didn't have to talk about anything too deep. Now there were expectations and needs to be met and issues that needed to be addressed even though neither of them were ready to talk about them. But Sirius was getting paranoid that she was only with him out of obligation and tension between the two were high. 

That's exactly why Sirius was pacing the marauders dorm late into the night. He was nervously chewing the skin around his fingernails as he continued to think about Victoria. Remus was getting irritated by the boys continuous pacing though and simply wanted to sleep. 

"I swear to merlin and his fuzzy white beard if you don't stop fucking pacing, I'm going to lose my mind what the hell is wrong with you!" Remus spoke up finally. James had just gotten out the shower when he heard Remus shouting. Peter was nowhere to be found. The boy had gone MIA over the summer and they three had tried to contact him over and over again but there was never a response. James even went to his house, but his mom simply claimed he wasn't up for visitors forcing the boy to go home. 

"Victoria is guarded still and I don't know what to do. I don't think she cares for me. I think she's only with me because of you guys." Sirius said with a frustrated sigh. James and Remus both looked at each other nervously. There was an unspoken rule between Remus and James. They never discussed their relationships with Victoria to each other. It's not that it was wrong too but both of them understood that their relationships with her were in different places and they were both different people Victoria was the only constant. "You guys are making it worse." Sirius sighed stress and fear evident in his eyes. 

"I don't think she's with you for that reason Padfoot. You're one of her soulmates you're meant to be together." James said encouragingly as he got dressed for bed. 

"That's easy for you to say you two were sneaking away together last year like lovesick puppies." Sirius grumbled. James couldn't help the blush that covered his cheeks as memories from last year played through his mind. He couldn't help but wonder if that would be something the two of them did this year as well. He hoped it would continue. 

"Have you tried talking to her about this?" Remus piped up grabbing his attention. Sirius took a shaky breath.

"I tried but it seemed like she was avoiding it." Sirius spoke up as he plopped down on his bed. He was hunched over resting his head in his hands as he thought about Victoria. 

"If I were her, I won't lie I would be guarded too." James said quietly as he tossed his towel into the dirty hamper. Remus and Sirius both snapped their necks turning to look at him. Remus shooting the hazel eyed boy a warning look as Sirius looks on the verge of pure panic. "I just think you're very hot and cold with her. You tell her you feel nothing for her. You could never love her and she's just a friend and then all of a sudden, you're kissing her and saying you're in love with her?" 

"I was scared before. I mean I can't compete with you two." Sirius started to argue. 

"I get that, but you have to understand how she may be feeling. It was obvious she cared for you and your rejection hurt. Now all of a sudden you say you love her and she's probably waiting for you to change your mind." James argued before giving Remus a pleading look to help him out. Remus took the signal. 

"Also, there's no need to try and compete. We're all her soulmates and We're all supposed to be with her. If we start competing with each other than we will all lose her and that's the last thing any of us want." Remus sighed giving Sirius a sad but encouraging look. "Your relationship with Victoria is YOUR relationship with her. I can't help with that because you two are different from me and her. James and Victoria are different from me and Victoria. There's nothing wrong with that. It's supposed to be this way. You two just need to sit down and talk things through. James and I have both been there. Just breathe and understand that you are meant to be together."