Go easy on me~ Dennis/Arthur

update/side note💔

I'm so sorry but I can't do it. I can't talk, I can't speak and i'm looking at my phone with what now?

I learned English to understand him, I started reading fanfictions, fell in love with music again, and they helped me through these dark days when I just needed to smile.

He helped me, but no one was there for him and that is so hard to accept.

All I can do is cry, I had a terrible day at work because I needed to be strong but I was not. I needed to cry but I couldn't because I was not at my own safe work place, I didn't know these people.

I fell in love with One Direction in start 2011 when I got my first times on the internet. I fell in love with these boys and their songs, their humor and everything around them.

After 2015 I followed them in their solo career, had so much luck to see Harry, Louis and Niall live.

I will never ever get the chance to see Liam live ever again and that brraks my heart. And not for me because i'm not important. His family, his friends, his dogs, his girlfriend, the people he loved and most important his beautiful baby boy that he has to leave behind now. Bear will grown up without a father and world can't be crueler than that.

I can't write, the words doesn't come out. This loss really feels like grieving. He was such an important person in my childhood, I love him to dead.

Losing him feels like losing a big brother that I am looking up to.

I know a lot of you feel like this too, and it is okay. I try to learn myself that it is okay to cry because we have feelings and that man has been part of our lives for 14 years. Most of my live, he's been there.

Every day listening to his music because it made me so happy.

We will never hear his beautiful voice ever again, his smile and beautiful soul.

I will miss him so much, I can't even think about how this is real. Like wake me up because it is not funny anymore.

Tomorrow I will wake up knowing it's not a dream and we lost Liam Payne.

The man who I love so much.

I can't write right now and I'm so sorry to say this. I can't write about mental health stuff because all I can is think about him. I'm so sorry but I can't do it.

I can't write about family issues when all I can thibk about is how fast you can lose a family member, or someone you love. It can all be gone in one minute.

I hope you can understand this, and forgive me for not updating this weekend, maybe next weekend, I don't know how I will feel or if I feel ready.

Love the people around you, see how they are doing. We all need to check up on each other more. That person that is struggeling can use a ear, be that person, please.

Love each other.

I will see you soon❤️