The Human in Hell (new version)

Humbug

A/N: Thanks to Renowned-Wolf, who was a huge help with this chapter. And I'm aware people in Hell celebrate Sinsmas. We started writing before that episode came out.

Scene opens on a Mall's Christmas set-up. IMP had been contracted to kill a group of criminals who had been abducting children from the Mall to sell on the dark web.

Loona and Millie are dressed as sexy elves, Moxxie is dressed as a Reindeer, Blitzo is dressed as a Snowman, and you are dressed as Santa Claus.

Surprisingly, everyone, even Blitzo, seems to be less on edge and in a chipper mood.

Everyone except for you, since you are shown with a determined glare.

Y/N: (frustrated sigh) Can these scumbags just make their move already? The sooner we take them out, the sooner we can go home.

Moxxie: I highly doubt they're going to try anything in front of a crowd full of witnesses, Y/N.

You accept this with a roll of your eyes.

Millie: Oh, c'mon. It's Christmas! I doubt even criminals would stoop this low.

Y/N: (through gritted teeth) You'd be very surprised at just how nasty the average human can be, most don't give a rat's ass if it's a Holiday.

Blitzo: Oh, would you relax? Even I'm not this much of a cynical asshole over the Holidays.

He shuts up when he sees you glaring at him with glowing green eyes. At that moment, children show up and you put on a smiling face and a jolly act. 

After tending to the kids everyone is on break.

Millie: I'm worried about Y/N.

Blitzo: You know it's bad when I'm not the asshole in the situation.

Loona: Yeah, I bent over giving him a perfect view of my ass, and... nothing.

Moxxie: Must be bad if that didn't get him flustered.

You walk in ,surprising them.

Y/N: Hey.

They all jump in reaction.

Y/N: Going to ignore that. Come on, we have work to do.

You all head off and see someone dressed as a mall employee leading a couple kids in the back of a hardware store at the end of the hall.

Y/N: You! Hold it right there!

Startled, the employee turns and sees you glaring.

Employee: Oh, shit...

He shoves the kids forward and dashes into the store.

You use your amulet to give yourself superspeed and dash across the hall, leaving the rest of IMP in the dust.

Employee: Guys, we gotta go!

Brian: Woah, woah. What's the rush?

Employee: The guy we got to play Santa saw me with these two brats. I think he knows something's up.

Peter: Ha! You got scared by a Mall Santa of all things? Unless he's secretly Art the Clown, I don't think we have anything to worry about.

You run into the store and see the criminals standing with the kids.

Y/N: Hey, dirtbags! Step away from the kids. Now!

You scratch your fake beard.

Y/N: (muttering) For the love of Charlie, this thing is itchy.