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Cut to you, Moxxie, Millie, and Blitzo walking through a portal and arriving on Gerardo's goat farm.
Blitzo: Alright. Seems like this one's nice and remote. Won't take us too long to-
A goat bumps into Blitzo, knocking him down.
Blitzo: What the f-
Soon the group are surrounded by goats. Blitzo pushes a goat away from him.
Blitzo: What the fuck are these things?!
Y/N: They're goats. And you wanna tone it down a notch? We're on a mission, and they're just going about their business.
Blitzo: I don't care how great they are, Y/N. They are in. My. Way!
Y/N: Not the acronym, the animal, Stupido!
Blitzo picks up goats and kicks them. They hit the hay barn, the barn and the house.
Y/N: (shoving him away) Will you cut that out?!
You gently hold your hand out to a baby goat.
Y/N: Come here, buddy. It's ok. I'm not gonna hurt you.
Moxxie: How are you so good with farm animals?
Y/N: Mom, Sallie, and Scythe have been a huge help.
You hold up some food pellets. He gently starts eating them out of your hand.
Unfortunately, the lights inside the house turn on, and a man goes outside to see the commotion.
Gerardo: Que esta pasando!? (What's going on?!) Que carajo!? (What the Hell?!)
Y/N: (muttering) Damn it. Thanks a lot, Blitzo.
You smile and approach him while holding your hands up.
Y/N: Señor. Por favor, cálmete. (Sir. Please, calm down) Sé que esto se ve mal. (I know this looks bad) Esto no es lo sue palace. (This isn't what it looks like)
Gerardo looks at you quizzically before he notices the Imps.
Gerardo: (puts his hat on) El Chupacabras!
Blitzo: The fuck is a chimichanga?!
You roll your eyes and pull the three of them behind cover as Gerardo opens fire.
Y/N: Chupacabra, pendejo! It's an urban legend from around here that's Spanish for "Goatsucker". And unfortunately for all of you, most iterations have it looking reptilian, kinda like Imps.
