The Way It Is (Way Too Deep Sequel)

Chapter 48: 💔

"They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies."

Dear Diary;

I've never seen the clouds as dark as they were today. Everything about today wasn't easy. A piece of my heart was ripped out of my chest. No one spoke a word.

I must admit that everything was put together beautifully. Just like it should've been. My emotions were still all over the place.

The uncontrollable tears that slide down my face as I'm writing this. It's been a while since I've written. Today feels like a good day to.

Things could have went differently. It could have ended way worse but you take what you're given right? How stupid of me.

He was one of the most important men in my life. I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words because everything just sounds crazy.

My hands are shaking, my breathing irregular. I lost a piece of my soul and have no way of getting it back. Why did this happen?

I keep reminiscing about the good times and the bad that made us who we are today. I would do this life over and over again.

Death has a way at eating at your body. Eating you from the inside out. Making you feel trapped and stuck in a place of nothing. No light, no path, straight darkness.

How can you go from seeing someone everyday to not being able to see them anymore? You're expected to go on with life like nothing ever happened but does that make sense?

Will I ever see you again? The last hug wasn't enough. The talk, wasn't enough.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

In a strange way, everything has been an eye opener ever since you've left. I wish you would've just talked it out. I wish you would've just took the time to listen. To be heard.

We planned this life shit out from the very beginning even though it feels like it took us a minute to get it right. You're supposed to be here right now. Telling some corny ass joke to make me laugh.

Did you even consider the outcome or did that even matter? You should've thought things out clearly beforehand.

But I get it. People let their emotions get the best of them sometimes. It's so fucking hard to think about my future when you're not included anymore....

Looking down at the words on the page, Akashaa took a deep breath and closed the diary. She had nothing else to say. Or couldn't put the right words down on paper.

These few weeks felt like eternity. She tried to put up this front for everyone that she was okay but she was crumbling silently.

"Ryan don't go up there!" He heard someone yell.

Her door swung open and in walked Ryan. He felt like he's given her enough space to be in her thoughts but enough is enough.

"Come on get up." He instructed.

"For what?"

"Come on Kash. You need to be around people. Family."

"I'm grieving."

"So are we. What you saying?"

Sighing, she laid back on her bed and pulled the covers over her head. What she needed was space, not anyone in her face.

"Can you give me a minute to get it together?" She asked.

"30 minutes Akashaa. 30." Ryan said before walking out her room.

Groaning, she flipped the covers off of her and grabbed her diary.

.... I'm lost. I'm hurt and don't know where to turn....

Akashaa Zenn
12:30pm