Dying Embers

Chapter Forty-Nine

Chapter Forty-Nine: Answer

"Arce? What are you doing here?"

I froze when I heard that voice, familiar, calm, and painfully gentle. Paglingon ko, nando'n siya. Psalm. Suot niya ang dark blue na long sleeves, bahagyang nakatupi ang manggas, at kahit simpleng ayos lang ng buhok, he still looked effortlessly put-together. Always the same. Always composed.

"Ah, nagpapahangin lang," sagot ko, pilit na pinapakalma 'yong bigat sa dibdib ko.

Lumapit siya nang dahan-dahan. At sa paglapit niya, naamoy ko agad 'yong pabango niya, subtle but unmistakably him. That clean, musky scent that somehow reminds me how grounded he always is, how sure.

"Ng mag-isa?" he teased, the corner of his lips lifting slightly. "You've got to be kidding me."

I didn't respond. Instead, I shifted the topic. "Kakarating mo lang?" tanong ko, tinatago sa tanong 'yong pagkailang.

"Yeah," he sighed, sliding his hands into his pockets. "Hindi ko na nga sana balak pumunta. Iniwan ko na lang sina Tunnel sa bahay nila. But then I thought... maybe I'd regret it if I didn't see you."

Napatingin siya sa akin. And that look, it held something heavy. Something unspoken but so clear I almost forgot how to breathe. My heart started pounding too loud, too fast, like it didn't know what to do with itself.

"Psalm..." mahina kong tawag, but my voice barely came out. I wanted to say something, anything, but the words stuck in my throat.

He smiled faintly, eyes softening. "Don't look at me like that," he said, trying to laugh it off. Pero ramdam ko 'yong kaba sa tinig niya. "I'm just being honest."

Napatingin ako sa malayo. I couldn't meet his gaze. Parang bawat segundo na tumingin ako sa kanya, mas lalong bumibigat 'yong nararamdaman ko.

"Psalm," I whispered again, barely audible. "Alam mo namang hindi gano'n kadali, di ba?"

"Yeah," sagot niya agad, calm pero totoo. "And I'm not here to make things harder for you. I just want to be real. Gusto kong malaman mo lang na kahit anong mangyari, I'll still be here. Kahit gaano ka pa kagulo o gaano kahirap."

There was so much truth in his voice it almost hurt. He meant every word. And that terrified me more than it comforted me.

"Psalm..." I swallowed hard, trying to find the words. "You've been so kind. And I—" I exhaled shakily, curling my fingers into my palms. "I wish I could give you something back. Pero ang gulo pa rin ng lahat. Lalo na ako. I don't even know if I still know how."

Tahimik lang siya. No interruptions. No disappointment. Just silence and understanding. Tumango siya nang marahan, eyes never leaving mine.

"Arce," he said softly. "Hindi kita hinihingan ng kapalit. I just want you to know na may taong willing manatili. Kahit wala pang kasiguraduhan. Kahit masakit."

Napakagat-labi ako, sinubukang pigilan 'yong panginginig ng boses ko. "I don't deserve this, Psalm," bulong ko.

He shook his head, smiling softly. "Huwag mo na isipin 'yon. It's not about deserving, Arce. It's about what I'm willing to give. And I'm willing to wait."

And right then, sa gitna ng malamig na hangin at ng ingay na unti-unting lumalabo sa paligid, narinig ko lang ang tibok ng puso ko at 'yong katahimikan sa pagitan namin. It felt... safe. Painful, but safe.

"Thank you," mahina kong sabi. "For staying."

Ngumiti siya, 'yong tipid na ngiti na may halong pag-asa. "Anytime."