Dying Embers

Chapter Two

Chapter Two: Crush

ᯓ★ play this while reading: paper rings — taylor swift 𝄞 ⋆ˎˊ-

An alarm blared, tearing me away from a deep, heavy sleep. Ang sakit sa tenga. Napairap ako, hinila ang unan sa tabi ko, at tinakip iyon sa ulo ko as if it could silence the world. For a moment, I wished time would just stop. But a few minutes later, the alarm blasted again, merciless.

With a groan, I forced myself upright, stretching my arms until my bones cracked. My body still felt heavy, eyes half-closed, but I knew I had no choice. If I stayed in bed any longer, I'd risk being late — again. One whole week pa lang simula ng pasukan, pero halos araw-araw, absent ako sa first class. Luckily, my adviser wasn't the type to scold. Gentle reminders lang, parang sinasabi na "I trust you'll figure it out."

Living alone in this small apartment had slowed me down in ways I never expected. Walang nanay na kumakatok sa pintuan para gisingin ako, walang amoy ng kape na magpapaalala na kailangan ko nang bumangon. Just me, my cluttered desk, and the silence of an empty room.

Pero mas practical talaga ito — commuting an hour and a half from home every single day? Nakakapagod. Kaya when my parents suggested na lumipat ako dito malapit sa school, pumayag din ako kahit mahirap. Strict sila, oo, but they wanted me to learn independence. Every Friday after class, umuuwi pa rin ako. Hindi ko matiis na hindi makita ang bahay, pati sila. Maybe I was trying to prove na kaya kong magsarili... but I also needed that comfort of coming home.

Our weekends were simple. Movie nights — action, fantasy, horror. Never romance; I had tried once back in eighth grade, and honestly, I almost died of secondhand embarrassment. Never again. Sometimes we'd cook, mostly my Mom and me experimenting sa kusina, habang si Dad naging instant judge namin. Minsan we'd bake, though honestly, I was more of an "assistant" than a cook. Ako lang 'yong taga-hugas ng gulay, taga-halo ng batter. Still, it felt like home.

Now, mornings were a different story. Dito, ako ang may hawak ng lahat. Household chores, plus endless schoolwork. Parang hindi natatapos. Kagabi lang, ala-una na ako nakatulog kasi tinapos ko pa 'yong projects sa dalawang subjects. And guess what? First week pa lang, pero tambak na agad. Senior year wasn't just overwhelming — it was suffocating. Or maybe, this was just me, still adjusting to the weight of distance.

Breakfast ko? Cup noodles lang. My usual. Too tired to cook, too sleepy to care. Fun fact, hindi rin talaga kasi ako marunong magluto. Minsan nga, skip na lang altogether. Sanay na rin kasi ako. After slurping down the last bit of broth, I dragged myself to the bathroom, showered quickly, brushed my teeth, and stared at my reflection for a moment. My hair clung damply to my cheeks, my eyes still looked half-asleep.

I put on my uniform, towel-dried my hair, and was just fixing my things when my phone buzzed. Agad kong dinampot from the desk, and the screen lit up with a familiar name.

From: Jilliana

'Saan ka na? I'm already at school. Don't forget your PE uniform.'

Napangiti ako. Jilliana. We met two days after the opening of classes — she started talking to me, and just like that, we became friends. Hindi ko alam kung paano nangyari, but she made everything feel less awkward. I wasn't exactly unfriendly, pero I'm not the type to start conversations either. She filled that gap.

Today was Tuesday — PE during second period. Mabuti na lang she reminded me; otherwise, malamang makakalimutan ko na naman. I quickly pulled out my PE uniform from the closet, neatly folded it, and tucked it inside my bag. Light lang naman ang dala ko: homeworks, my math notebook, and now, my PE uniform. I hated carrying too much. Hindi rin ako mahilig mag-notes, math lang kasi mahina ako dun.