Aries: that got deep, like my belly button
Taurus: if you're gonna kiss me on the cheek then kiss me on the cheek, don't kiss the air next to it cuz I'm gonna end up with my mouth around your earlobes
Gemini: do I make any of your scalps tingle?
Cancer: I only dance for the hounds
Leo: thankfully the cat was fine, as the oven hadn't been on for long
Virgo: I know someone that is now infertile because they got horsed in the balls
Libra: frying pan, biatch
Scorpio: I just mean that in a completely innocent way, you just go into this spa and they peel glue off your body
Sagittarius: healthy squirrels this year, am I right?
Capricorn: we're always milking our whales in the north
Aquarius: I don't really want to show you my crotch right now
Pisces: I literally stripped down to my boxers and just starfished on the bathroom floor
