Aries:"It is always a good idea to demonstrate to your coworkers that you are capable of withstanding a tremendous amount of pain."
Taurus:"Don't start chasing applause and acclaim. That way lies madness."
Gemini:"You had me at meat tornado."
Cancer:"Don't confuse drama with happiness."
Leo:"Honor- if you need it defined, you don't have it."
Virgo:"You know what makes a good person good? When a good person does something bad, they own up to it. They try to learn something from it and move on."
Libra:"There is only one bad word: Taxes."
Scorpio:"One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it."
Sagittarius:"Never half-ass two things. Whole ass one thing"
Capricorn:"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Don't teach a man to fish for and you feed for yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard."
Aquarius:"Birthdays were invented by hallmark to sell cards."
Pisces:"There will be alcohol there, so I will go as well."
