Aries: "How many apples grow on a tree? All of them"
Taurus: "A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here.'"
Gemini: "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"
Cancer: "What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine"
Leo: "What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
Virgo: "Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted."
Libra: "Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock jokes? He won the no-bell prize"
Scorpio: "How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, 'Ribbit, ribbit' and a horny toad says, 'Rub it, rub it.'"
Sagittarius: "What do you call someone with no body and no nose? Nobody knows"
Capricorn: "I'd like to give a shoutout to all sidewalks for keeping us off the streets"
Aquarius: "What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta"
Pisces: "Don't trust atoms, they make up everything"
