aries: scream at you to get off their lawn
taurus: has no idea how they lived this long
gemini: talks shit about the other grandmas
cancer: bakes you chocolate chip cookies
leo: crazy cat lady
virgo: afraid of teenage hooligans
libra: currently on match.com
scorpio: use their knitting needles as weapons
sagittarius: has jokes that can make a stripper blush
capricorn: wise sensei ninja warriors
aquarius: go to bed at 7pm
pisces: think emojis is a band
