Fiendish

Chapter 26

You build me up and then I fall apart cause I'm only human.

-Christina Perri, Human

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Harry Pov.

I pulled up to Carmen's apartment building and parked. We drove all the way here in nerve-braking silence and it was driving me insane. I spent the entire ride angry, worried, confused, all while stealing glance at Carmen. Carmen unbuckled her seat belt and got out of my car. I soon followed her, wanting to know exactly what's going on.

"Carmen." I called out but she kept walking. I clenched my jaw and continued to follow her. We got into the elevator and once the doors closed I opened my mouth. "Aren't you going to say something?"

Carmen pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and damn if I wasn't so annoyed right now I'd push her against the wall and take it between my own teeth.

"I'm still thinking." She stated and looked at the floor. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to contain my anger.

"What are you exactly thinking about that's taking this fucking long? Seriously, Carmen." I seethed.

The elevator dinged open and Carmen hurriedly exited. I groaned in frustration and reluctantly followed her. This shit is just fucking ridiculous.

"What the hell's going on?" I shouted just as Carmen opened her front door.

She didn't answer me, instead she walked in her apartment and toward her room. Anger ate away at me. No one's ever treated me the way Carmen has and to be honest, I can barley handle this shit.

"What the fuck is going on?!" I shouted once we stood in her room.

Carmen pulled out her phone and started typing. I was just about to reach out and snatch it from her hand when she held it out in front of me. I took it and looked at the screen.

At first I didn't know what the hell I was looking at, then I realized what I was seeing. It was a picture of me at what looks like the party from last night. I was sitting on the stairs smoking a cigarette with that girl, Savannah, sitting next to me. Her hand was on my chest and her mouth on my ear.

"How the fuck did you get this?" Was the first thing that came out of my mouth.

Carmen let out a small humorless laugh and took off her shoes.

"Someone sent it to me." She told me. I could tell that she tried sounding strong and unbothered but I could also tell that she wasn't by the way she rubbed her hands together and wouldn't look at me.

"Who sent this to you?" I asked, pissed off and frantic.

"Don't know." She said and I grabbed her arm.

"Carmen, god dammit, who the fuck sent this to you-"

"I don't know, Harry, I don't know!" Carmen snapped sudden and I dropped her arm. She cradled her arm and she sat on her bed still avoiding eye contact.

"I didn't fuck her, Carmen. I didn't do anything with her." I told her honestly, wanting the distance and tension between us to diminish.

Carmen looked down at her hands and twisted her fingers. I ran my fingers through my hair frantically and tugged at the roots. This is all so messed up and Carmen's stubborn ass isn't going to believe me.

And fuck, I want her to believe me so bad.

"Aren't you going to say something?" I asked, tired of hearing my own voice and being consumed by my own thoughts.

There was a long pause and I just want to release all my frustration and agitation out on something. Then she finally spoke.

"I just don't want this." Carmen said lowly. "But I guess my opinion doesn't matter. It never has."

Weirdly enough, from the feeling I got in my chest, my heart dropped.

Carmen's Pov.

"I just don't want this." I said lowly, almost wishing Harry couldn't here. "But I guess my opinion doesn't matter. It never has."

As the words came out of my mouth I knew only half of that was true. For some sick reason I really like Harry. I wish he wasn't so terrible; I wish he wasn't so fiendish. But let's face it, the chances in changing a person are less than the chances in winning the lottery.

"Carmen, I'm not lying. Why can't you fucking see that?" Harry asked.

His voice didn't sound mean or malicious. It actually sounded like it lost all of its previous fire.

"Who's to say I don't see it." I muttered. Part of me, the crazy part, did see it. However, the other part of my was hurt and angry.

Harry sat down next to me and I squeezed my eyes shut. Our legs were touching and the warmth coming off his body made me want to lean into his arms.

"Then if you believe me what the hell's going on?"

Oh you know what's going on Harry. I know you're not stupid. You not stupid at all.

"Will you just look at me already." Harry said and grabbed my chin.

Harry moved my face so that now I was looking at him. His eyes were dark and demanding, yet soft and...scared? Harry's a very difficult person to read and I wish it was easier.

"I'm just tired of all this." I told him and he let out breath. "I'm tired of all this pain and constantly feeling like crap."

Harry didn't say anything, he just kept his eyes on mine.

"Sometimes," I began again. "I wish I never came here. Sometimes I wish you would just let me go."

"I think I'm to selfish to let you go." Harry spoke and my heart skipped a beat.

"And other times..." I recovered and trailed off.

"What?" Harry asked.

"And other times I guess I'm happy." I said and watched him closely for a reaction.

"With me?" Harry asked.

"Yeah," I answered honestly. "But, I just...I'm just tired." The lump in my throat was the size of a golf ball and weighed a ton.

Harry released my chin and clenched his fist. His eyes darkened and his face contorted in anger. I scooted away from him, afraid that he was going to explode and I was going to be reduced to nothing but ashes.

Surprising me, Harry shot up from my bed and stomped toward my door.

"I'll be back." Harry said between clenched teeth. I rolled my eyes, more hurt than I was before and more confused than ever.

"Whatever, Harry." I said and he stopped.

Harry's hand was on the door knob and I could tell he was holding it tightly.

"Carmen-" He began then stopped. His other hand played with his bottom lip. "Just stay here."

I looked away from him as he left my room and slammed the door behind him. I grabbed my hair tie and put my hair into a messy bun. I ran my hand across my face and looked down at my bed at the space where Harry once sat.

I wish I could hate him more than I actually do. Harry gets a laugh out of the people he hurts, mental and physical, and I know this. But...

But what? You know your brother's right when he calls him psychotic. You should just put a end to this...if you can, I thought but my subconscious told me otherwise.

Weirdly enough, from the feeling I got in my chest, I wish Harry wouldn't have left.

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[Status: Edited and Revised]