Fiendish

Chapter 34

You told me that they can understand the man I am, so why are we here talking to each other again.

-Lil Wayne, Mirror

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Carmen's Pov.

My dad got out of jail today.

Those words played through my head in a constant loop. I sat there, just staring at Harry with my mouth slightly open. I didn't know what to say. This is why Harry lost it; this is why Harry's losing the rest of his sanity.

"I'm-"

"Don't say it." Harry cut me off angrily, "I've heard enough of that shit today and it's driving me batshit crazy."

I nodded my head once, even though he wasn't looking at me, and looked down at our hands.

"Harry, please talk to me." I practically whispered, not wanting to say the wrong thing. "Why won't you talk to me about this? I know it's personal, I just...I just want to help."

"Because you...you wouldn't understand." Harry said, his hard face masking the pain I knew was inside of him.

"Just because I wouldn't understand, doesn't mean I won't care." I tell him and he just nods his head once.

"So, you spoke with my mum?" Harry asked, his expression grew harder, colder.

"Yes. She loves you very much." I told him and he just shook his head.

"She doesn't know what love is." Harry mumbled, scoffing.

"And what, you do?" I asked, not trying to be rude or mean, but trying to open his eyes. "She told me she regrets everything. A mother loves her child more than anything-"

"Not in my point of view." Harry stated and his words sent daggers to my heart.

"At least you have a mother." I told him and he looked at me, shocked that I brought myself up. I didn't mean to say that, but it just came out. "At least she's here and healthy and wants you back more than anything."

We were quiet for a moment, neither of us daring to say anything. Harry continued to stare at me until I broke our eye contact, looking down at my lap.

"Why do you care so much?" Harry asked me and I pulled my hand from his, pushing my hair back.

"Because nobody deserves to be carrying so much weight by themselves." I told him and fingers went under my chin, bringing my head up until our eyes reconnected.

"Why do you care about me so much?" Harry asked again. "I've been nothing but a dick to you, yet you care. Even when I try to make you not give a fuck, you care. Why?"

Again, I didn't really know what to say. I didn't have an answer that I wanted to share. He was right, he was rarely nice and I didn't completely know or understand why I cared.

"I don't know," I whispered, "I just do." You make me happy. "You don't deserve all this pain. I know you're only angry a lot because... anger is the only thing that has been there for you." I want to be there for you. "That's also the reason you won't let anyone in." Please let me in.