Fiendish

Chapter 46

You can drag me in the deep end, but you will never drown me out.

-Ed Sheeran, Drown Me Out

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Harry's Pov.

Anger and pain were running simultaneously through me like an electrical charge. My chest hurt like a bitch every time I pictured Carmen's face and her doe blue and brown eyes.

"Fuck." I muttered, trying to control my breathing as I drove down the empty road.

Carmen surprised me today. She really surprised me and now I feel like shit. I was incredibly hurt and I didn't know I could feel this type of pain. I didn't like this feeling at all and I was trying my hardest to cover it up with my all too familiar anger.

When Carmen told me we needed "a break", I wanted to laugh in her face. I wanted to go back to my old self and tell her that I didn't give a fuck about what she wanted. I wanted to tell her that we were over when I said we were over. I wanted to pin her against the wall and watch her cringe back in horror and try to get away from me.

But I couldn't do any of that. All I could do was look at her in absolute shock and pain. I felt my body tense up and I couldn't believe she had the fucking audacity to say that to me. And when looking at her became way too much, I turned my back toward her because I didn't want to hurt her. I wouldn't hurt her.

Carmen is the very first person that is truly important to me. She knows stuff about me that I wish I never told her, but am glad that I did. She is the very first person I fully trust after everything I've been through. Carmen was the better half of me, the half that wasn't fucked up and insane. The half that was pure, in more ways than one, and full of light.

People may call me selfish, but I was not about to let this girl go any time soon. There had to be a reason to her sudden outburst and I was damn well about to find out.

I pulled up to my mother's house and parked my car. I knew Gemma and her fíance were staying here for a while. I got out of my car and slammed the door so hard, I thought that I might shatter my window into a million glass shards. I hurried to the front door, my anger propelling me faster and faster until I reached the door. Closed my hand into a tight fist, I banged on my mother's front door a good ten times before I heard feet rushing to the door.

"I'm coming!" I heard her shout and my heart clenched, but I ignored the feeling.

The door swung open, revealing my mother with wide, surprised eyes. Her mouth was opened like a fish and a lot of emotions passed through her eyes. Through those eyes that matched mines.

"Hi, Harry." She smiled a bit and suddenly it was a little hard to breath. She watched me with what looked like sad, yet loving eyes and I shook off the feelings that came with it, regaining my previous, rigid posture.

"Where's Gemma?" I asked in a low voice, stepping past her and into her home. "Gemma!" I shouted, wanting desperately to yell at her ass.

"What's going on?" My mother asked with a worried tone and she put a hand on my shoulder. I tensed under her motherly touch and froze. Her hand was warm and, even though I have not forgiven this woman, I let myself relax under her touch. That is, before I saw Gemma walk down the stairs with a confused expression.