Chapter 28

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I can't help but love you, even though I try not to.

- Ruelle, War Of Hearts

LISTEN TO THE SONG WHILE READING

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Carmen's Pov.

Harry: I'll be over in ten minutes.

I read the message Harry sent me and my chest ached. Liam left about an hour ago, leaving me with my thoughts and emotional battles. I'm so angry with Harry for not tell me about his mother, for treating me like I'm nothing but an object, for not coming back last night when I assumed he would. But I guess that was too much for him.

Me: sure, Harry

I put my phone down on my bed just to pick it up again when it vibrated almost immediately after I put it down.

Harry: I'm sorry

I rolled my eyes and put my phone back down. I didn't ask for any of this crap and it's driving me crazy. It's probably best if Harry didn't even come by today. It's 9:30pm and I haven't even taken a shower yet.

I stood up from my bed and grabbed a pair of sweatpants, underwear, and a baggy t-shirt. When Harry says 'ten minutes' I think more along the lines of 'twenty minutes' or maybe even 'whenever I feel like it'. I shook my head, trying to stop thinking about Harry and the pang in my chest. I walked out of my room toward the bathroom and closed the door. I turned on the hot water and stripped out of my clothing. Steam filled the small bathroom and I stepped into the shower, letting the hot water reduce my stress.

After a long time of relaxation, the water started to get cool and I got out of the shower and dried my body off, putting on my clothes. I wiped the condensation off the mirror and studied my reflection. My eyes were dull and you could tell I was tired. My hair was in a messy bun and I cringed at my appearance. I know for a fact I'm not pretty but right now I just look like pure crap.

I stepped out of the bathroom and cool air rammed into me, cooling me off.

"Do you always take such a long time in the bathroom?"

I looked up at Harry leaning on my bedroom door. His curly, brown hair was in a bun and his dark green eyes burnt into me. He looked so much like his mother.

"Only when I know you're coming." I said. "Do you always have to pick locks instead of knocking?"

Harry clenched his jaw and balled his fist in anger. I crossed my eyes over my chest, satisfied to get a reaction out of him.

"I guess I deserve that, huh?" Harry said and I shrugged my shoulders. Harry removed his leaning body from the my door and took a step toward me, reaching out to grab me.

Harry's finger brushed against my arms as I walked passed him into my room. I didn't want to talk to him or even look at him.

"Alright, Carmen." Harry said from behind me. "We need to talk."

"What's the point?" I asked him and sat on my bed. I leaned back against my headboard and rested my hands on my lap. "So you can storm out of here? So you can leave me confused and emotional when you never come back?"

"You were emotional?" Harry asked and I rolled my eyes. My eyes held unshed tears and a hard lump sat in my throat. I really didn't want to cry in front of Harry, I do that too much as it is.

"Forget it." I say.

"Aw fuck." Harry mumbled under his breath and came toward me. "Please tell me you aren't going to cry?"

"I'd have every reason to." I mumbled without thinking while crossing my arms along my chest.

"If that's the case then tell me why." Harry said sitting on my bed.

This would be just like last night. We would talk, I would say things that I was finally brave enough to say, and Harry would storm out without coming back.

"Fucking talk to me, Carmen!" Harry yelled suddenly and instead of me jumping in surprise and fear, anger filled my blood along with uncontrollable sadness.

"Why should I?" I shouted back. "This is all just a catastrophe. You're a catastrophe, Harry! When I do talk to you you get mad and start yelling or you just...leave. You leave me all pissed off and sad and just...so lost. You want me to be honest with you and tell you every single thing yet you can't do the same. This is just so frustrating-"

"Please stop crying, Carmen." Harry whispered and I stopped talking. I didn't even realize I started crying nor do I know when I started. I was just so angry right now-

Harry cupped my cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe away my tears. The action took me by surprise and I froze. His hands were gently on my skin and they were so comforting. I wanted to lean into his touch, yet I forced myself not to move.

"I'm sorry, Carmen." Harry said and pressed his forehead against mine. I closed my eyes to prevent from crying out. My head was swimming and my heart was pounded in my chest. A single tear fell from my eye and Harry lifted his head, kissing my eyelids.

A sob escaped my mouth and Harry pulled me to his chest. The tears I tried holding in came streaming out. I was confused and heartbroken. I didn't know what to do.

"I'm so sorry I'm such a selfish asshole." Harry said, rocking my body back and forth slightly. "I'm so fucking sorry."

My heart ached and my head began to throb but Harry's arms around me made me feel so safe and comfortable and just...

Harry's arm snaked behind my knees and I let him lift me to his chest. He laid down, slightly leaning against the headboard. My legs were draped over his lap and my head was lying on his chest. My messy brown hair fell out of its bun and covered my face, some strands sticking to my lips and cheeks. Harry's breathing was shaky, like he was having some sort of break down.

"Please don't leave." The words slipped past my lips before I could think about what was just said.

Time past by and I figured that my voice was so low Harry couldn't here me. I closed my eyes.

"I wish I could be better for you." Harry mumbled into my hair.

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[Status: Edited and Revised]

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