IKIGAI Series #1: Estranghero

30

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Pagkatapos ng bigat na binuhos ni Ishaan ay pareho kaming natahimik.

Wala na akong masabi na parang umabot sa puntong wala ng maiutal na kahit na anong salita ang bibig ko.

Tumingin siya sa akin at sumeryoso ang mukha.

"Elio," he said, "I know he's been pushing you away. I know how much it's hurting you. But sometimes... people break in ways they don't know how to explain."

Tumingin ako sa kanya, and he stepped a little closer.

"But you... you stayed. Even when he was gone. You held on, even when he wouldn't let you."

He placed a hand on my shoulder.

"That doesn't make you weak, it makes you brave."

Huminga siya nang malalim. "Don't wait for him to come find you. Not this time. If your heart still beats for him... go. Remind him that he's not alone. Remind him that even broken people still deserve to be loved."

At hindi ko na napigilan ang luhang dumaloy ulit. He hugged me tight. Not too long, not too short, it's just enough to make me feel safe.

"Go get him," bulong niya.

I nodded, whispered a soft "Thank you," and turned away.

Pagbalik ko sa classroom, biglang natahimik sina Joshua at Ivelle nang makita nila akong pumasok, but I didn't say a word.

Diretso ako sa upuan ko, kinuha ang bag ko. Narinig kong tinawag ako ni Ivelle.

"Elio? San ka pupunta?"

Wala akong sinagot.

Joshua stood up halfway. "Eli?"

But I kept walking at hindi sila pinansin. As if on cue na lumamlam ang paligid ko.

Lakad-takbo ang ginawa ko hanggang sa makarating ako sa gate. May nakita akong nakaparadang tricycle sa unahan kaya patakbo akong tumungo roon.

I pulled out a 1,000 peso bill and approached the driver.

Nagulat si Manong driver. "Ha? Eh-baka malugi ako, iho. Hintayin muna natin yung iba-"

"Please," I said, handing him the money, my hand trembling from the cold and rush of desperation. "Kailangan ko pong makarating doon agad."

He looked at me, confused and hesitant but finally nodded, and took the bill.

"Saan ba tayo, hijo?" tanong niya habang paandar na ang trike. I gave him the address agad.

And as soon as we left the school gates ay siya namang pagbagsak ng isang malakas na ulan. Manong driver quickly pulled out plastic sheets from the back of his trike, sinabit niya sa gilid para hindi kami mabasa. Kumuha pa siya ng lumang raincoat at isinabit sa side para protektado rin siya habang nagmamaneho.

"Pambihira 'tong ulan na 'to ah," bulong ni Manong habang mabilis na nilabas ang plastic na parang trike raincoat na nakakabit sa gilid ng bubong. Tinakpan niya ang sides ng trike para hindi ako mabasa.

He even grabbed a thin jacket from behind the seat and threw it on. "Okay ka lang ba diyan?"

Tumango lang ako. Pinatong ko ang bag ko sa tuhod ko. Nilalamig ang mga daliri ko habang pinipigilan kong manginig, pero ang tanging laman lang ng isip ko ay si Kiernan.

Habang binabaybay namin ang highway, tahimik lang ako. My hands were clenched into fists into my bag. Ang tibok ng puso ko ay sumasabay sa tunog ng ulan sa bubong ng traysikel.