IKIGAI Series #1: Estranghero

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“Magpahinga ka muna, Elio,” sabi ni Tito Hunter habang mahina niyang hinahaplos ang balikat ko, his voice low but firm. “Tomorrow’s going to be long. We’ll all need the strength.”

Gusto ko sanang tumutol. Gusto ko pang manatili roon, as if staying would somehow make me feel closer to him. Pero sa paraan ng pagkakasabi ni Tito Hunter, ramdam kong wala na rin akong laban.

I managed a weak nod, my throat too tight to form words.

“Okay po, Tito,” I whispered, though the word tasted hollow.

“Go home, get some rest,” he added gently. “Miguel wouldn’t want you exhausting yourself like this.”

I forced a faint, shaky smile, though my chest ached even more.

“I know,” I said softly, almost like convincing myself.

Pagkalabas ko ng hospital, sinalubong ako ng lamig ng madaling araw. The wind cut through my clothes, sharp enough to make me shiver, but it wasn’t enough to numb the heaviness inside me.

I pulled my coat tighter around myself, pero hindi ko mapigilang mapatingala. The sky was an endless stretch of black, dotted with faint stars that seemed too far away to matter.

I glanced at my wristwatch and saw that it was 1:00 a.m.

Just two hours ago, Miguel’s heart stopped beating at exactly 11:11 p.m., November 11, 2032.

A palindrome. Numbers that mirrored themselves. The thought twisted painfully in my chest. Kahit oras at petsa, parang iniinsulto ako nang paulit-ulit ang sugat. Laging bumabalik sa parehong sakit.

I exhaled shakily, my breath fogging in the cold air, and made my way toward the parking area.

Each step felt heavier than the last. Parang bawat galaw ko ay hinahatak ako ng alaala ng mga huling sandali kanina—Miguel lying still, his parents breaking, his brother holding back his own tears just to be strong for everyone.

I wanted to run back upstairs, to check if maybe this was all just some cruel mistake. Pero alam ko na ang totoo. No amount of running would take me back to before 11:11 p.m.

Pagdating ko sa parking lot, halos wala nang tao. The white glow of the overhead lights cast long, stark shadows across the ground. My car was parked near the far end, and each step toward it felt like a mile.

I pressed the unlock button, the familiar beep echoing far too loudly in the empty space. For a moment, I just stood there, staring at the car, my hand frozen on the handle.

I slid into the driver’s seat and shut the door, the sound of it closing echoing in the stillness. The car felt colder than usual, or maybe it was just me.

I placed my hands on the steering wheel but didn’t start the engine right away. Instead, I let my forehead fall against it, my eyes closing as a deep, shaky breath left me.

“November 11, 11:11 p.m.,” I whispered to the darkness. “You really had to choose a time that would haunt me, didn’t you, Miguel?”

A bitter laugh slipped out, quickly breaking into a sob. I pressed a hand to my chest, as if I could hold the pieces of my heart together.

My chest tightened painfully. “I’m sorry,” I whispered into the silence. “I should’ve loved you better. I should’ve given you more.”

I finally turned the key, the engine humming to life. The headlights illuminated the path ahead, but it felt like I was driving through fog, both inside and out. My mind was heavy, my body moving on autopilot.