riptide- outer banks

101 | the cards we were dealt

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Luke didn't know how much more he could take. Genuinely. He hadn't moved from the spot he'd collapsed in and that'd been over an hour ago. Falling into the space in between his bed and his dresser, he'd brought his knees into his chest. Breathing ragged and uneven, heart unable to function at a normal rate, he'd covered the back of his neck with his hands. And he'd just sat there, paralyzed with the fear of it all.

His life wasn't his anymore. It never really had been. From as early as he could remember, he'd been a survivor. He'd been someone to buckle down and take each hit as it came. To stand back up when he was knocked down. To keep breathing when his breath was stolen from him. But to be completely honest? He didn't even know if he wanted that anymore.

What was the point if pain was the outcome?

Luke shakily exhaled as he got to his feet. He was hesitant to leave his room. At least in here, he was safe. At least in here, the pain couldn't get to him. But he had to. He wasn't the only person who sometimes fell victim to the pain. And that person meant more to him than his own life.

He swallowed hard, hand closing around the cool metal of the doorknob. Opening it honestly terrified him. It rooted him in place, an aura of dread settling around him. He had to do it, but no part of him wanted to. No part of him wanted to face what was beyond it.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Luke opened the door. It creaked open, the sound emitting from it somehow coming out loud. That's when he realized it though. The echo was deafening to him because his house was eerily silent. It shouldn't have been with everything that had gone down earlier, but it was.

"Mom?" Luke voiced.

He stepped into the hallway the moment she appeared at the end of it, light eyes filling with alleviation at the sight of him. Karoline took the remaining steps that separated them, arms enveloping her son in a loving embrace. His arms wrapped tightly around her, wishing more than anything that it could just be them in this world.

But it wasn't.

"He's gone. Okay?" She reassured him, pulling away to cup her son's face. "He left. I want you to leave, too."

He was immediately shaking his head. "No, mom–"

"Luke," Karoline warned, giving him a look. "I need you to not be here when he gets back. I need you safe."

As her hand fell onto his shoulder, he could do nothing other than crumble into her arms once more. Half of a sob tore from his throat as he clung to his mother. It wasn't fair. None of it was fair and he couldn't do a damn thing to stop any of it.

Karoline pulled away from him, a saddened smile appearing on her face. "Now go. I'll be okay. I love you."

"Love you, too."

Then he left. He got on his dirt bike and left it all. Leaving behind his fractured home, he sped off down the road. He could already feel the bruises forming on his jaw, along his arms, and across his abdomen, but he didn't care. None of it even mattered to him anymore. He'd been fighting for as long as he could remember so he really didn't have any shits left to give.

Minutes later, he found himself at the boneyard. Dropping his bike in the sand, Luke walked towards the fallen tree trunks and branches. He fell to the ground, back leaning up against one of the many logs. Then he was pulling a blunt and a lighter out.

He needed to not think anymore– this was how he did that.

A billow of smoke floated up into the air as the sun continued to set. He lowered the weed momentarily, eyes becoming enraptured by the small waves gently crashing into the shore. It caught a hold of him, pulling him in enough to distract him for a few seconds.