riptide- outer banks

eighty-nine | risk

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15 Months Ago

Kiara lifted her hand up, dark eyes surveying her work. It looked near perfect. She blew a fallen curl from out of her face as she set her paintbrush down on the wooden slab to her right. A small chipping noise pulled her attention away from the sign she'd been creating for the shop and to the other one Logan had been carving into a few feet away.

Her eyes narrowed at him as he continued working at it. He'd been quiet today. More so than usual. But she hadn't asked why. If he wanted to talk about whatever was going on inside his head, he knew she would listen. She'd done it far too many times for him not to know that.

She decidedly took the remaining steps to him, leaning down slightly to read the words carved into the wood. "How's it going?"

Logan didn't answer right away, completely focused on the task he'd been given. "Fine." He remarked, pulling the knife in his grip down half an inch. Instead of slicing straight down, the blade curved to the left due to the amount of force that had been applied. "Shit!"

Kie took a step back at his outburst, eyes widening as he chucked the knife down onto the table.

"Piece of shit!" He exclaimed, hand swiping at the edge of the table and knocking various tools onto the ground below.

"Logan, it's okay!" Kiara voiced, hoping to reassure him. "Just chill out." She ran a hand through her hair as a heavy breath followed.

Logan briefly met her gaze before he fell into the nearest chair, head shaking. "I screwed up, Kie."

Her brow came together at the sudden calmness and hopelessness to his tone. "It's okay. I'm sure we can fix it. I mean, I know you've been working on it the past two days, but it'll be fine. We'll make it work."

"No, I screwed up, Kie." Logan repeated, keeping his head down as his elbows fell onto his knees. "With Kori."

As he met her gaze, Kie's expression softened. She didn't prod as she leaned against the counter, arms folding across her chest. She just stood there, waiting for the pieces to fall into place.

"I had this stupid dream a few nights ago. We were at some party and I got high. Really high and I..." He trailed off as the memory came back to him, jaw locking at the feeling it caused. Then he was nodding as he finally met her gaze. "I hit her, Kie. I hit her."

There was a pause.

"I woke up and I lost it. I had a panic attack, which doesn't even matter. What matters is that I hit my girlfriend because she told me I was acting like Rafe." Logan leaned back in his chair, both hands coming up to cover his face. Then they were dropping back to his lap. "I can't do that to her. Kie, I can't do that to her."

Kiara gathered her thoughts before speaking, shoulders lightly raising at him. "Well, would you?"

He didn't hesitate. "Of course not. I love her. I would never hurt her. But that's just it. I say that now, but in a high stress situation, would I be able to control myself?" Logan just shook his head. "If we're going off of genetics, the answer is no. I'm gonna end up just like them and I can't have her in the middle of that. It's not worth the risk."

Kie felt her heart sink. "Did you tell her this or just me?"

Logan dropped his gaze to the ground. "She doesn't know any of it."

"But she asked you, didn't she?" Kie guessed. "And then you didn't say anything?"

"No. And now we're shot. She's pissed and I'm pretty sure she blames herself." He paused just long enough to momentarily bury his face in his hands. "I'm pretty sure she broke up with me, too. And I can't blame her. She deserves better. I mean, just look at me."