riptide- outer banks

112 | what is owed and what is not

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JJ rotated the small stone in his hands, smooth rock trailing over his fingertips. He knew it was only a matter of time until he was found, but he didn't care. Last night had been heavy. A lot heavier than he'd been expecting. He didn't know why he hadn't seen it coming.

He knew her better than that.

But still, the thought of it all made his head hurt. So right now, he preferred not thinking. That's why he was standing close to the water, quite a ways away from everybody. To get away, to not feel the pull of the current trying so desperately to yank him under the surface. He just wanted some peace in the discordant error that seemed to be his life.

Without another thought, he chucked the stone in his fingertips. The small object flew from his grasp, hitting the water at the perfect angle. The stone skipped once, twice, three times before skidding to a stop and sinking beneath the surface.

Casually, JJ let out a breath. "Did she ever tell you about that time she got suspended for punching a kid?"

Logan's brow raised as he took the remaining steps to the blonde, stopping a few feet away from him. He wasn't even surprised that he'd heard him coming or that JJ already knew it was him. "No, I, uh, haven't heard that one."

Dropping his gaze to the ground, a grin slipped onto his face as he picked up another stone. This one was rougher, more cracks in the exterior. "She was in second grade. I was in third. Some kid made fun of my shoes— said I looked homeless." He chuckled. "Next thing I know, she's clocking him. Two front teeth gone, just like that. She got suspended for a week."

Logan had to laugh. "I'm not surprised. I've been on the other side of that fist. Twice, remember?"

JJ didn't say anything momentarily, blue eyes studying the rock in his palm. "She's always been like that. Fierce. Protective. More loyal than this world deserves."

There was a beat.

Then he was turning to Logan. "You make her happy. After everything she's been through, she deserves to be happy."

Logan tilted his head, brow furrowing together. "So do you."

At that, JJ dropped his gaze. Then he chucked the rock in his hands, letting the stone fly. It didn't skip, loudly smacking the water instead. Then it sank, as if it'd never been thrown at all.

"It's okay to not be okay, man." Logan said, voice soft against the sound of the settling water. "I can't even imagine what you're going through, but I know it can't be easy."

JJ's jaw tensed up, eyes pinned on the shimmering water. He was staring at it in a way that seemed as if he thought looking at it long enough would tell him who he was supposed to be now.

"You're allowed to feel things. To fall apart a little." Logan voiced, subsequently letting out a breath. "J, you sacrifice everything for the people you care about. And I know that's just who you are, but you have to realize that you don't always have to lose everything for us."

He glanced over at him briefly at that.

"And I know Kori said some shitty things, but nothing's changed, man. She still sees you as her brother. She feels it. That doesn't go away because of blood. You raised her. You protected her. You stayed." Logan paused, bringing his hand up to place it on JJ's shoulder. "You're not alone in this, 'kay?"

JJ didn't say anything at first, but Logan could see some of the tension leave his body. And that was enough for him. It was enough for JJ, too. For the first time in his life, he didn't feel like he needed to say anything to be seen. Logan just did it.