𝗚𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗖𝗛 𝗠𝗢𝗗𝗘 | 𝗡𝗖𝗧 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠

Vulnerable | Jaemin Imagine #20

title: vulnerable

genre: angst, fluff

warnings: mentions of self-harm and sex, but nothing explicit

word count: ~1.4k

author's note: i know this is a recurring topic in my stories and i'm sorry if it sounds repetitive. this idea just came to me the other day and i felt like writing it down. so hope you guys like it. thank you for reading ^ ^

𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚༝༚𓆩♡𓆪

By the time Jaemin returned from work, the clock on your nightstand read 11:03 p.m. A small sigh escaped him when he saw you were already curled up beneath the covers. Moving softly around the room, he went through the motions of his nightly routine before joining you in bed. He lay there for a while, eyes fixated on your back turned to him, as it had been so many nights lately. Then, with a tenderness that almost hurt, he leaned over to press a kiss to your temple and whispered, "Good night," before switching off his lamp.

You hated the feeling of guilt that gnawed at you from the inside. You hated pretending to be already asleep when he came home, hated how you kept pushing him away. And yet, no matter how much you knew you were hurting him, you just weren't ready.

The mid-afternoon light shone through the café windows, tinting everything in a golden hue. You sat across from your friend Hye-mi, her hands wrapped around her brown sugar milk tea, even though the ice had already melted.

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"So," Hye-mi began with a teasing grin. "How was your first night together?"

Your straw froze midway to your lips. "Oh. Um..." You looked down, feeling heat rush to your cheeks.

Hye-mi leaned forward, eyes sparkling with curiosity. "Come on, you can tell me. I don't know how you and Jaemin waited all this time. Was it amazing?"

"We haven't done it, actually," you said, biting your lip. "We were both exhausted after the wedding, you know."

The smile on your friend's face faltered. "Oh. Well, that happens. But sure you have since then... right?"

You shook your head sheepishly, stirring the tapioca pearls that had long sunk to the bottom of your cup. "Not yet. We've just been so busy with moving in together and all the unpacking. Then you know how crazy Jaemin's schedules can be."

"Hasn't it been a month, though?" Hye-mi asked, disbelief coloring her voice. You internally grimaced at the surprise in her tone, fully aware of how strange it must sound.

"Yeah... we just haven't found the right time," you said with a nervous laugh. "Seriously, it's not a big deal."

But Hye-mi wasn't convinced, sensing there was more beneath the surface. Reaching across the table, she placed her hand on top of yours. "(Y/n), you know Jaemin adores you, right?" she said softly, "I mean, no one can get the man to shut up about you."

You managed a faint smile and nodded. "I know he does. Everything's fine, I promise."

Everything wasn't fine, no matter how many excuses you kept coming up with. The worst part was that Jaemin had been nothing but patient. Memories flashed through your mind of all the times you had gently pulled away when his kisses grew more passionate and his hands started to wander. It was something both of you had waited for so long, yet you couldn't bring yourself to cross that final line.